Troubled

sometimes I consider killing myself. I feel like my life is kinda pointless and..just nobody even knows my name. As in people I've known since maybe I was 3. I feel like I always listen to everybodys problems, but they never listen to mine. I listen because I know what its like to not be listened too. My closest freinds don't even know what goes on for me emotionaly, because I know I have really strong emotions that sink into their minds and affect them for the worse. I don't want them to think like me because I'm afraid of what their capable of doing to themselves. I really have some screwed up thoughts.

I'm not diagnosed as depressed, but we studyed it in school and...well, I know I sound stupid but I have a lot of the 'warning signs'. I dont know though. Maybe I just can't cope with normal things.

I'm trying my hardest to loose wieght. I do starve myself sometimes but I've tried other things and they just don't work for me. And I can't talk to anybody because my whole life I've been tiny and thin. Everybody still thinks of me like that and one day their all gonna realize I've gained a lot of unhealthy wieght. And I cant listen to anything my friends tell me on the subject..they lie to me a lot. They mean well, they know I think different than a lot of people, but sometimes I feel like they'de tell me anything to make me feel good. Just because I have pretty much no self confidence.

Which sortof started this whole people-phobic thing I've got going for me. I don't like to be around small groups of people, or have attention on me in large groups. I can't talk and mummble and shake and get bright red. I know people don't think well of me and I'm just afraid of what they'll think of me.

My best friend's mom hates me because of who I am. She hates me for being me and thinks I'm somehow harming her daughter. That hurts. I know I should just whatever it but I'm not sure I'll be able to fell to great going to her house and knowing her mom talks about me.

Sorry I typed so much guys=P Theres a lot of really great people here and this is the first place I've felt totally confident in spilling my guts. so what I'm saying is..
Anybody got any advice?

I know exactly how you feel, suicide does seem like a solution but the after math of it all does seem to just mess you up more than before and it does add to the stresses, well for me it made everything worse. I may seem like a hypocrite cause I have and still do go through times of straving myself, but I wouldn't advise it as it is dangerous if it gets out of control. I'm stuck in a school which I moved to around a yr ago I rarely talk to anyone out side of school just cause my trust and faith in most people has gone, but find find some one you trust and that will stand by you and help you, not leaving you when they wish to. If you wish you can talk to me, send me an email or something just don't go and do anything drastic no one should be forced to such extremes and have no one to support them when they support them. Just don't let it get as far as I did.

louise k
email: deadlyprincess@hotmail.co.uk

Okay, well first off- on the depression part- I'm currently diagnosed with it so I'm here if you need me. Anytime, Ok? So, message me or whatever. With the eating thing- I've done that too. I know what you're going through so lemme know. Ok? I'm here if you need me ok?

tons of love.

later....xXxXx

Okay, well first off- on the depression part- I'm currently diagnosed with it so I'm here if you need me. Anytime, Ok? So, message me or whatever. With the eating thing- I've done that too. I know what you're going through so lemme know. Ok? I'm here if you need me ok?

tons of love.

later....xXxXx

There is nothing wrong with people who have been diagnosed with depression...But a part of me feels like you're "trying" to become depressed, which is wrong in my opinion...At age 14, I was put on anti-depressant medication...my life was pretty chaotic. To tell you the truth...I probably took 5 single pills from the entire bottle...Then I told myself...I hate how my life is...nothing feels right...I hate being in my own skin...so, I changed as much about my life I could've...Just be smart...be wise...don't harm yourself...Life can be amazing, you just need to give it a fair chance to shine...Feel free to private message me if you need to talk...or just want someone who can listen...Keep your head up...

Every sixty seconds spent sad, is a minute of happiness lost...