How Would You Feel?

just the other night i was driving around with some friends and another car tried racing us, we didn't of course (they had V8, we were V6) anyway the car drifted around the corner past us, i saw it lose control and smash into a telephone pole! the car was ruined and the people inside weren't getting out, we pulled up and tried to help but there was nothing that we could do, the drivers body was a mess, i couldn't look, we left when the ambulances got there, anyway i got a phonecall the next morning telling me that the guy in that crash was someone i new! and i new him pretty well, Kyle. i saw my friend die. i saw exactly how he did it, i watched it all and didnt realise it was him, i felt physically sick when i saw it happen, when i found out it was Kyle, i couldn't talk, my pain went to emotional! its hard to believe that he was a murderer and a victim in the same hit. his stupidity cost us him! i can't get rid of that image! i can't forget the memories and that is all i want to do! just hearing the breaks, seeing it skid off, the windows shattered and thhe car, like his life, was written off. i can't handle this pain!

please... i need help!

I feel bad that you have lost your friend, but that is why they have speed limits, and that racing on the roads is illegal. They could have killed pedestrians, he has no one to blame but himself.

Ya Same With Her I Feel Bad You Lost A Friend...But I Just Lost A Very,Very Close Friend Who I Dated Before And Still Had Feelings For In May...And Tomorrow Would Be His Birthday So It's Really Hard...And I Know How You Feel....But I Guess All You Can Do Is Be Strong...I Have Tons Of Other Stuff I Could Say...If You Need More Help Let Me Know...Im Here To Help...
♥
Steph

i know, he is the only one to blame and i hate him so much for doing it and if he had of lived through it i probably would have killed him myself but thats just the thing, i can only blame him and he isnt here anymore to blame and its really sad knowing that he did this to himself when he did love his life... i dont know, its hard, i just feel sick because i saw it happen, it was a traumaic thing to watch, than to find out its someone ur close to, it just hurts so much!

You might need to see a councillor. This is not a bad thing. Go to the doctors and explain how you feell due to what you saw. He'll probably refer yo to a bereavement councillor who'll help you to digest and then come to terms with what you saw. Good luck. Let me know what happens, yeah.

thanks mel, i have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow afternoon, i just cant, i cant even get in a car at the moment. and when i see someone doing something stupid i hurl abuse and get really angry especially if its someone i know. i do need help and i think a councillor will do that for me, thanks hun

Oh wow, I got shivers from reading that, I am so sorry for your loss, and I really truly hope that you can find some way to deal with this Dear. I am here if you ever need someone to talk to.

-Jenna.

thanks jenna, i still can't get back into a car. it only takes one slip... 1 accident, and there goes ur life, i can't answer my phone anymore because i am so sick of people saying 'what if' there is no what if's its happened sort of thing. its too late to do anything about and i just feel so helpess and alone.

Hi Lucy.

Did the doctor refer you to a councillor? You must come to terms with the fact that a car will always hold these fears due to the accident. Thats only natural when the accident was recent - in time it will get easier, but what you'll have, which is only natural as well for the time being, is 'playback' - in other words you'll relive the incident in your mind. Also, you may be going through the 'what if' syndrome where you feel that if you'd have said this or done that it could have been avoided. You have to know that all these things are natural ways that the body/mind deals with such extreme events - so don't think your're going crazy. Take care and let me know how things go.

I am very sorry for your loss. A few years ago, racing in Glendale, California (where I live) used to be very very popular, still kind of is. You want to race? Go to the tracks where you can be "safer." I have lost way too many friends to car accidents, which started as a race. It was a complete nightmare for me, but you learn to move on...Every time I pass by the light on Glenoaks where my friends died...it still hurts, but you just need to stay strong...And I understand you...what hurts the most is that they did it to themselves!! It's life and we have to deal with the obstacles thrown to us...and unfortunately death is one of them...I wish you the best...Stay strong...

No problem Darling. I know how that feels, not personally, but my Dad. When he was around fifteen, him and my Grandpa we're out for lunch and then they were on their way to a game, I think it was a football game, and then they got in a huge fight. My Grandpa couldn't handle the fight, and so he dropped my Dad off at home and left him there, my Dad was muttering and cussing and throwing things out of anger, and my Grandpa thought about what was said and everything. Upon realizing what had happened, he turned around and started on his way back to the house, and on the way, a truck had run into him, and he was killed. The other truck was speeding, and didn't even slow down to see what he had done, it was a hit and run. My Dad may not have seen his Father die, but he still constantly blames himself for the accident, and it is something that he will never be able to get over. Nobody in this world could replace his Father, and although my Grandma is now happily remarried, he cannot accept it. I never met the guy, but I have seen his ghost. Many call me crazy for it and say there is no such thing or I was imagining it, but I, personally, believe that he is my guardian angel. And there is always help around, as people have mentioned in here, go to a counsellor, they may be able to help. And even if you can't afford one, you should talk to a friend, or the school counsellor, just anyone you can! Don't shy away from friends right now, because it is a time like this when you need them there with you the most.

-Jenna.

That's terrible. I think we have all lost dear ones at one time or another, and it is so hard to take it.
What keeps me going is that I am a Christian and believe that we will all meet again in heaven.
I have lost many pets who I loved much more than any human... when they died, I wished I could die too.
The pain doesn't fade very much, even with time, you still have memories.
All I can say is to forgive yourself and forgive him.

//T.L.//

i went to a councillor today, it wasn't as easy as thought, i had to tell her all about it, how the accident happened, she said it will get easier everytime i go, and i have been to councilling about other things and she is right, it will, but its hard to believe something so bad could get easier, just one of those things...

T.L.,
as true as you are and as much as i would love to forgive him, i dont think i ever could, i hope that one day i will, but right now im angry at him, he endangered so many other people and destroyed his own life. but yeah one day hopefully i will. and thank you so much, i believe in heaven too. i know i will see him again

-Jenna-
i am so sorry about your grandpa. and i agree with guardian angels and ghosts, they are real. i believe. i did try to push my friends away, i was scared of being hurt again, but they noticed and have spoken to me about it so its alrightish now, and yeah, noone in the world could replace kyle either

Well, I have been to about 7 counsellors, each have helped in different ways. I am not currently seeing one, although I will often turn to friends or someone else to get some feelings out. It is fine. I never knew him, it still hurts, but not as much as it should. And I am a strong believer that they exist, I am so into ghost stories and everything, I find them freaking amazing!!! =]] But anyways, yeah, it will take time to forgive, that's true, but you have got to with time, it is no use holding this out against yourself, and him, and the rest of your friends. It isn't fair to any of you to do that. No one could ever replace a lot of passed love ones, but just hold him true in your heart and move on with your own life. Because, that is what you should be worrying about right now, and the sooner you do that, the easier it will slowly get. Hope you feel better Darling, truly, I do.

-Jenna.

Its all about getting it all out of your system, lucy, and this site will help in your poetry; and in time it will get easier.

I think you should seek professional help to help deal with this trauma in the most effective way for you...I can only imagine how that has burnt into your mind what a horrible experience. I also hope it reminds you, and others of the danger of being stupid on the road and the outcome it can have if people aren't cautious, responsible drivers.