Ever had the feeling it will all get better just to have that fe

I was happy, I was normal, but then everything has gone downhill... About the middle of August the guy I was going out with broke my heart. Not that there was much left to break long story short my dad's never home he's always out working in some other state because he's a stubborn alcoholic that always either quits or gets fired, every time he comes home he yells at all of us... its not just normal yelling he'll make you feel like crap, lower than dirt so that's fucked me up so much but anyway. It took me about 3 weeks just to get over that guy becuase 2 days after we broke up he went out with this other girl who was a whore so after I get over that things keep going down hill...
I still have all the depression and anxiety over my dad so that has increased just as i've gotten older and understood more, so that's horrible and then I get into fights with my mom and now the next time I "get an attitude" with her I get sent to a school where I know absolutly no one and thts not good, also in every single one of my classes I know no one and Im not exactly the most social person...

The thing that's almost pushed me over the edge is that my dad is comming in, in a few days because he needs to see a doctor...
The thing that gets me the most is the depression its just so hard on top of everything else .
so right now i've pretty much abandoned all hope of things getting better and am bracing myself for the next blow

depression takes over your whole body, i understand but the thing you have to understand is that you are able to brace yourself for whatever happens next. Sounds like you have been through a whole bunch and why end it now? If you mom sends you to a new school and your not really social in the one you are in now..why not start on a new foot and start over. When I started Highschool 2 years ago it was my time to just start over and put my depression...cutting..ect. back and just think on a better note. I dont know if this makes sense to you but i hope it does. feel better and private message me if you want to talk more kay?

*Julie*