i'm looking for some people to talk to.

ok here goes. i have been on anti depressants for just ovr three weeks. the doc said they start woring at one week. half way through the 2week i break down and cut myself again. i dnt know why. it hurt but at the same time it felt like i was relieving myself of pain. the only reason i went on anti-depressants was becuase i got a job and i dnt want to be fired becuase my arm is covered in cuts. i want to nevr cut again but something just takes ovr again and it happens. i was nearly at a month for not cutting and i was really proud of myself but then i just break it and go and cut. i have so many problems but alot of people have it worse off then me. i hav ethis one problem of listening to my friends problems but then this upsets me and causes more stress. i have tried to fix myself before helping my friends but it didn't work. i have lost a really close firned to me that helped me get through a stage where i wanted t kill myself. i miss her but i dnt know how to get her back. i have no one to tlk to anymore. i would love for some1 to just listen to me again. listen to me go on about how much i hurt and how i dnt want to anymore. but then i would sit and listen to them when they need a shoulder to cry on. so if any1 can tlk to me plz do. it would mean alot to me and would also help me to keep myself from cutting.