I need help... please

What do I do? I can't take what I'm going through. I think my fiance is cheating and he doesn't trust me. He always goes off on these rants about how everyone hates him and uses him and its not true.. Its more the other way around. But he doesn't realize how much its tearing me apart. He means so much to be and I don't know what I would do if I lost him. But the thing is... Today I just noticed today what he was doing. I think he's lying and I know for a fact what he is doing is mental abuse. He's becoming controling. The scary part is, I've been through every bit of it before in most of my past relationships. It's like I'm attracted to it and I can't get out of it. I need help.. I don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm sitting here writing this in tears. I have no one to talk to, no one to call about it. I'm at, what seems like, a dead end for me. I'm trying very hard not to go back to cutting or hurt myself at all. I just need help... Please.. Hear my pleads before I do something I will regret.

Thanks...
Ally

It was love... I know that much. I was the one who kept him from killing himself a few months ago... and the last time he tried it was because I was threatened to be killed and he didn't want to know what life was like without me. I love him dearly.. I just don't know what to do. He supposedly loves me, thats why he stays, but I can tell and he has said himself that he doesn't trust me. That he can't tell the difference from when I'm joking and not. I've had almost a week to myself now... I decided I wasn't going to call him until he called me... which he hasn't. I know I don't need him tearing me apart like he is, but it happens everytime... Almost every relationship I have ever been in.. There has always been mental abuse in it and its tearing me down, but at times it does make me stronger, yet I get pulled right back into it as soon as I think I'm out for good. They just change for the worse after a few months or so. But I just love him so much... I don't know what to do...

well ok so ur 14 and engaged?? ur 1st mistake .. how old is he??. You are too yng to allow some guy to mistreat u .If u feel hes lying to u then he prob is if hes accusing u of things its only guilt from the stuff hes doing. I think u need to not b in a hurry bieng how ur only 14 and shouldnt even b thinkign bout marriage ne time soon.You need to find urself anfd forget bout guys especialy ones that only bring u down.take time to b yng and b urself ur only that age once and trust me thers plenty of time for guys and relationships dont rush into it.Its easy to get stuck in bad relationships find someone who will treat u like ur the only person in this world who matters cause tahst what u deserve.

Yes, I am 14 and engaged and I love him dearly. He is 16 but only turned 16 a few months ago. Part of the reason that I became engaged was because I might have had to go somewhere for my own safety. But I truely do love him. He means so much to me. I know what he is doing is wrong and I know defending him and stuff is wrong, because it means that I am in the abuse and not wanting to get out of it, I just don't want him to kill himself. Now I'm not so sure about if he will or not, but I'm afraid to take the chance. I know what I deserve and what I don't, and I'm trying to do something about everything, but I am just stuck in a corner about how to handle this even though I've been through it so many times.

Thanks for the encouragement Megan. I appreciate that. I'll see a bit longer about what happens with him and if nothing changes, I'll get rid of him. Like I said I appreciate it and I'll keep everything in mind. Thanks again.
Ally

i like that picture in your bio-is that japanese Anime
the Enchantress of Light? anyway-he's a jerk.
he cheats-lies-steals everything from you before
you have a chance to realize what you got.
We have emotional baggage-and you should get
out with at least a change of clothes before you
find out he is gay or a crossdresser-and leaves
you naked-your already blind-shtoopid!lol
Seriously though...i am serious, just not a name
caller-poophead!lol lol Every time you cut you
he gets away with murder-dont make his homicide
a justifiable way of releasing something he fears.
no no-hell has plenty room for life-takers. life
needs you-he doesnt. k

For all who have posted and helped me in this: Thank you. I have now broken up with him after finding out what he did. He was cheating and messing with my friends. It may take some time for me to get over him but I'll make it. Once again.. Thank you. It really helped and I appreciate it.