Children

So, here's the argument for children, even if the two people are not exactly in love...because many other things may go into a person's definition of love, and they may not be the same as another...(Though to be fair, I could never have children with someone I did not love, but if they fell out of love with me, it would be heartbreaking, but I can get over it, part of falling in love comes with the risk that you might get hurt, but I'm talking about intimacy, and you don't really need sex for intimacy, sex without intimacy...seems...wrong..) Children shouldn't be the main focus for two people getting together, but rather a byproduct of that intimacy that exists between the couple...even if that intimacy existed for only a very short while...How some people do this..I don't know. But it happens. and it shivers me. Children are the only good that can come out of a broken marriage...if any good can come from it.

Oh, and I'm only rationalizing it this way to justify my own existence since my dad came out and I guess never really 'loved' my mom, because it's not a 'choice.' Is that wrong?

he can have loved your mum!!!! my first ex is gay but he loved me, trust me on that, most of my friends are gay and it is possible

yeah. that's cool. Glad to hear from someone else. I was writing this novel, that I've been working on since...well long before all this stuff, and well, one of the characters -- based on a friend of mine -- is struggling with their sexuality, and he ends up having to try to convince his son that he really did love his mom. and as I was writing this scene, I thought of my dad, and wondered if it could be true, or just me trying to see the best in everyone. but the relationship between me and my dad will always be distant..though I know he loves me and I love him, he just can't show it. and that inhibits my ability to show it as well..

good to type all this out. can't talk about it yet.

email me or add me to msn if you need to speak
henrizzle_the_great@hotmail.com

yeah, i don't have msn. and I know I should be talking about this with people. a therapist or family..my brother wants to take his things to him thanksgiving weekend. I'll probably go too. its not really what I want. but I know it's what I...we all need.

he'll always be my dad though. nothing will change that. and I couldn't possibly imagine anybody 'replacing' him.

I am les and was with my kids dad for 10yrs, I loved him with all my heart and would probably have never came out if we had stayed together, as He was the only person I needed in my life. I was happy with him the whole time we were together [well maybe not the whole time lol] If I wasn't in love with him, I would not have had my children. My children know that I loved their dad, but they also respect and understand that things change, if I hadn't got with him when I was 16 I would have probably only ever been with women. I don't regret the 10yrs I had with him, because 3 children were born through our love.. I'm happy with who I am and so are my children.. that's all that matters to me :]