Please Help Me As Nobody Else Will

well 1st off to teh friends reply that if u commit suicide they hope u rot in hell wow ur a asshole 4 real tahst ahorrible hting to say to someone who takes that route.Now to u hayley hi hun .. im assuming its ur father who hits yo right?Well i too was beat by mt father pretty much all my life nothign i did was ever the right thing. Its a very very hard sitution one i know as well as i know myself.But ther is a light at the end of that tunnel even tho it may seem a lifetime away.It may seem like there si no one who cares but there are ppl just keep hope.So what bout ur mom ?? and u say u have family but not close re they family u can tell and tehy can help u ?? If u do go to the police they will arrest him especially if u have marks to show ur abuse. Stop feeling so down on ur self i know its easy to feel taht way whne ur made feel like ur worth nothing but ur betterthna that. Until things get better find one thing u love in life and focus on it when things get bad i used to focus on writing and on my ynger bro it kept me alive thru extremely hard times. Thres help sweethaert and u deserve to b treated liek ur special because you are. Dont give up on happiness ok cause theres always a beter side once u come out of teh dark.

if u ever wnat to talk email me its goblincleaver@hotmail.com
and on aim its .. koadicintalect

always here to talk if u want
xoxo
olivia

1st of all i think ur ignorant not to mention rude. I dotn support suicide and since u dotn know me dont judge me . I lost my bro when he was 13 to suicide and i sure as hell dont wish that he rots in hell. Alot of ppl have lost ppl they love due to there own hands and its a hrad thing to suffer from.U see it as a weak escape tahst you others see it as it takes a very strong person to kill themselves.i dont hate ppl who suicide its a hard thing to feel taht way and to go thru with such a act it hurts teh ppl who left behind and teh person who commits teh act.But the comment of u saying all ppl who have taken there own life should rot in hell is a awful awful thing to say considerign teh amonut of ppl on this site who have lost ppl they love very very much. bUt to each there own .

I dotn mind at all u can email me ne time u like hun and if u have aim im ona lot since im a stay at home mom it helps me kill time sn is koadicintalect.Let me know how everythign goes

oxox

i am sure someone here added you to their
"favorites" list-you are sincere. unfortunates are
abused often for this reason-we keep climbing
up the stairs to a little piece of heaven, but to
cling on-dont use up your strength here. you
can disappear in this forum-with friends-mabe
find your bus or train station in a forum. the world
outside isnt much different. someday you will come
out to play with a smile on your face-and your
new friends will suddenly appear-and youll say
"it feels like ive known you for a long time"
dont break the chain of love-were all in it.

no matta how bad it gets,
there is alwayz good to come,
so if u hang in there,
ull see the good, that u might of missed

I sorta agree with what Vix is sayin, but i dont agree with the way it was said. I havnt been abused sexually physically by a family member so i wont pretend that i know what you are feeling here, but, i have had severe depression n bin suicidal for 3 years.
You're not wallowing in self pity, and u have no need to be strict on yourself right now, the most important thing for u to do is to be a friend to yourself right now. You need to try and look after yourself, physically as well as mentally, as much as possible, and even if you feel so bad that you don't wanna care for urself, do it for someone else. Self pity is not a bad thing to feel once in a while, aslong as people have a reason for it, and u DEFINITELY do.
Sometimes people feel a bit of self pity as a way of protecting themselves, im not saying its the answer to your problems but im jus tryin to explain why, for example if they are rock bottom low, then no one can bring them down any lower and no one can hurt them if they are hurting themselves. This seems to be happenin to you.
Your original post shows that u relli dont value urself n ur self esteem seems reli low, and anyone who is pissed off for the negative way u say things, they just dont understand or havn't felt as low as you do. People telling people to, in other words, 'get a grip' when they feel very low, doesn't help at all. Some people can 'quit' self harm easier than others, depending on their situation.
I can't imagine how bad things must be for you right now, and i suspect most people couldnt either. But whatever happens, and however tempting it is, you must try not to blame yourself for any of this and must not think of it as a punishment. I've fallen into this trap too many times, its all too easy to think it when u feel so negatively about yourself. You should pat yourself on your back for being so brave and courageous to ask for help here, because asking for help is the 1st and hardest thing to do in getting better.
If you ever need a shoulder to cry on or some help just email me at antoniagregory@hotmail.com, this is NOT your fault, it is just very very bad luck, life is like that. Please try to take care of yourself.
p.s something to try if you're self harm is getting very bad - use a red feltip pen and draw lines on your arms, just as if you're cutting yourself, its meant to work because of the hormones u release when u see blood, wich make u feel better. or if its not the blood u need to see, and its the pain - try clenching lots of ice cubes in your fist, trust me it will hurt!! I know these won't replace the cutting, but u cud always trry

Toni xxx

Ive bin thinkin and iv had some more thoughts that could help
I'm not at school much at the moment cos ive also got M.E as well as depression so i know how ur feeling, crying alone in your bedroom etc. But, something that often helped me when i felt so bad n things at home wer a mess was to plan what i was gonna do.
Make a list of the things that would make u feel better, it can be anything, and try to fufill it. e.g this sounds a bit drastic and i probably wont do it, but i used to plan how i was gonna get away from home when i was old enuf. where i would go to get away from shit at home. So that way i knew i had a real escape if things got too tough. There are always places u can go, if u dont wanna go to a friends house etc. Look for alternative escapes other than suicide.
Another thing is, try and make a routine for yourself. Wrte down the things that make u feel better, im not talking massively better, just anything that even just takes ur mind off it, even if its only for a few seconds. i found having a bath helped me to relax etc. and try to do at least 5 things a day that make u feel that little bit better/soothered.
And finally, if all else fails, make a cd of girlie music, music helped me loads, dont listen to depressing music as much as u r tempted, try n listen to uplifting stuff even tho u feel shit. U may not notice the difference, but it will help to soothe you. listening to depressing music whilst u are feeling rotten often emphasizes how bad you're feeling, and u start only focusing on how bad you're feelin. the song i listen to atm is 'everything's gonna be alright' by Sweetbox.
If all else fails, try the simple things, u may think these r silly, but they hav a subconscious effect. if u find urself sat crying in ur room, thinking about how bad your life is, what you must have done to deserve this etc, go and look out a window. try to get out of your own head, if u understand what i mean, even just noticing the little things like the leave in autumn falling off the trees, helps you to get out of your own head and remind yourself that the world is always changing around you, that your situation, like the world, can change :-)

xxxxx Toni