Why do I keep thinking about pills?

My life is going great...I'm doing well in school, I have a loving boyfriend, many great friends, its almost my 18th birthday (I will finally be legal!!!) and basically a pretty happy life...But 2 years ago I tried to kill myself by popping a bottle of pills. My bestfriend made me promise that I would never do it again and I havn't done it again...but lately its been really hard to get the thought of popping some pills out of my head...I mean I don't do it and I have no reason to do it, but all the same its a thought that won't leave my head...Any advice or help or something...really appreciated.

I am the same way. I promised my boyfriend I wouldn't do anything to hurt myself, but yet, the thought is always there. It is hard to overcome those. But with everything that my family is going through right now, I can't ignore the thoughts anymore. But it does get better. Just, don't pop them. Relieve your stress some other way besides that.

-Jenna.

I'm going thro that... almost the same exact thing... exept I'm almsot 15 and i won't be legal. lol.

I don't no how to get it out of my head... wen i was going thro that whole suicidle thing i also was cutting and for some reason now i can't get cutting out of my head either... and nothing bad is happening. i don't shave as often which i no is weird to some of you but o well. The reason is, anyhow, because i can't look at the razor. every time i start to shave it's like i jsut stare at it for a few moments nad throw it across the bath room cuz it makes me mad i even thought of it. I don't understand and i don't no how to fix.

I figure as long as i have the friend to support me, and i had the strength inside myself to concur it once i can concur it again. And i refuse to go thro it again. Everytime i want to, i think, no I'm not going back to that hospital, I'm not going back to those black clothes, I'm not going back to blood stained sheets and clothe, and hidng knives and pills in my drawer.

I don't wanna be there again. I REFUSE! to be there again and you should to...

M.O.

i tried a month ago with pills and every time i open the cubore the idea leaps out like someones whispering go on take them i cant get the thoughts of popping pills and cutting out of my head once it got to me so bad i stashed them in my room when it came too takeing them i couldnt do it i thought of all the things i will and want to do all the things i want to say all the things i want to see and i put them back where they belong and wait untill they start whispering again
hope this helped
xox
james

i have that issue a lot. you just have to think about why you should hold on. its hard when i pass by the kitchen because there are knives and pills. i think about it a lot, i really do. but im not going to do anything because i don't want to be there again either. the thing that keeps me from doing it the most is the thought of going to the hospital. especially lately when i've been feeling pretty terrible again, i have to really go out and do something positive, and that always helps a little. that's probably why i've been on the forums a lot in the last couple of days... giving advice makes me feel good--helping people out... but it helps me too.

only one problem, once its in your head it wont leave, and you toy with the idea of mixing it up a bit..dont try and forget about it, it will make you worse, crazier even..instead try to resolve it, figuer out what triggers you to think of theese things, and then not use the triggers...

*damn i should really take my own advice*

october xx

you know, it makes cry to read of all you people who feel this way.
I used to self-harm and i think of it sometimes, but i am strong and so are you, just keep remembering that.
i hate to think that now i find life so positively good, that others are still feeling like you all are.

Please, my friends, i kno9w it's hard but be strong.
Life is worth living, and you know that deep down
xxxxx

sluvious.. u madem feel more normal.. and inspired me... You sound like u read Zen idk y... Your style of writing reminds me of it's riddles.

Anyhow, My therapist always asks me if i want to cut, or kill myself... I think well no i don't want to.. yes i have urghes... SO i just say no. I'm such a determined person. But just like any addiction depression is something i fight everyday. I jsut think that people who havn't been there don't udnerstand that.

anyway thanx it ment a lot.

~peace+love~

I did it once and I know better than to try to do it again. I just keep thinking about all the people I'd hurt, and if the thought comes up I just try to write about it...like poems or something...It does help to take my mind off the pills for at least a little while.