Dhaval's Five Poem Contest #1

CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED

-ends after five poems are submitted
-please submit your best work (new or old)
-any topic under the sun
-fastest five; sixth poem gets disqualified
-a poem a poet
-one winner will be chosen
-he/she will be awarded one honest critique
-probable place on my favorites (not guaranteed)
-originality appreciated
-a.b.c.b rhyming scheme not allowed
-clichéd poem topics not appreciated; will score lower
-minimum length must be 12 lines
-let's start, ye poets.

Winter Solstice Blackouts

I am tired except the mere thought
Eludes my mind’s capture
In the stillness of winter solstice
Disjointed memoirs leave frost
On drooping eyelids

I am tired except the night
Revolves in circled darkness
Beneath an empty cupped moon
Dipped in Milky Way teardrops
Leaking through the bottom

I am tired except the toned voice
Never fades in distance
And I am cursed with the memory
Of hearing prayers recited
That I should cease my blackouts

The Hurricane
by Twisted Heart

Just a shadow
a song, perhaps
caught within the corner
of a place wrapped in confusion.
The wind whistles
low into the night
ever so gently it goes
it's words whispering through the darkness.
Slowly it grows
invading the silence
parting it's depths with despair
and reaching the crescendo of rage.
Embittered turmoil it quakes
stealing the essence of harmony
beating against the solitude of peace.
It's vibrant voice screams
ripping around haphazardly.
Then it's gone
and in it's hasty retreat
a quite slumber is left to breathe.

Paper Recovery
by Melissa

I loved him

(still do)

But his adoration
was nothing more
than a bullet hole
dwelling underneath my flesh,
just waiting
........................(patiently)
to explode

Tiny fragments
of gun powdered hope
have turned my own heart
against me
and now my fingers
act as a pistol
shooting rejected poetry
at every soul hungry
piece of paper
that yearns for words,
even if they are stretched
and formed into a weapon
that kills dreams,
emotions,
and the love for a man
who never even believed in the stuff

At least that's what he told me once

(more than once)

^BANG BANG

[AS SHE BLOWS THE SMOKE FROM THE BARREL AND HOLSTERS HER GUN OF GREATNESS]

Happiness
Jeannie

sluvious: your poem, regardless of how much I liked it (and I REALLY did), unfortunately get disqualified because of its 10-line length, minimum being 12... so one slot is still open... I'd love for you to post another eligible one...unless someones faster...ha ha

I'm sorry if Sluvious wanted to repost, but I thought I had an orginal poem that would be accepted.
----------------------------------------------------
Cannabalism {Double Ottava Rima}

Swimming around, everywhere, blood sets, displaced,
((Chunks)), indescribable matter on the ground,
With a difficult decision you are faced.
Push harder, deeper, more, let your heart resound.
Decide your fate quickly, enjoy the taste.
Listen gently to your screams fall to the ground.
Piece by piece, taste by taste, you'll eat your flesh,
Falling deep within a sleep; your final rest.

Feast upon flesh, so delicate and great,
Breaking skin by teeth - smell the smell so strong,
Cannibalism is your scrumptious fate.
Blood dripping down your face; this can't be wrong,
Looking up at victims with utter hate
For their flesh in your mouth is where it belongs.
Lying around you are skin and broken bones,
Laugh as you break the flesh; hear their final moan.

Ottava Rima:
Consits of an eight line phrase with the rhyme scheme abababcc. A double Ottava Rima has the rhyme scheme abababcc dededeff.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

Contest officially lies closed. Wonderful job, ye poets! Results coming up shortly...await them!

Melissa....you're my winner!

An absolute stunner of a poem by you, surely a winner....however this contest was so much harder to judge than others...really good quality stuff was submitted...Kali was a strong contender, and I could have chosen her poem too...but somehow Melissa's poem gave me the goosebumps that other pieces managed to give too, but none of them AS effectively. Superb writes everyone....

Melissa you shall get your critique soon...when I find a poem of yours that my little head can try and critique...because you're obviously publishing material :)

Have a nice day
Dhaval

darn double post :p

Aaah thanks so much Dhaval, I feel completely honored... :) and am looking forward to your critique.

Awesome poems everyone, I enjoyed the great reads!