he called after 7 years and wouldnt talk to me

so when i was 8 my dad left and i recently decided he didnt deserve the title "dad" so i started calling him George (his real name) i didnt think i would ever hear from him again. My brother,mother,and I went 7 years with no phone call, no letters, no e-mails, nothing! and then out of the blue he decides to call and it was about a week ago now. and i always told myself if he ever called or i got the chance to talk to him again i wouldnt take that chance, but when he called last week he talked to my (older) brother for 30 mins but he couldnt take 2 seconds to talk to me. when he called my mom was at work so i didnt have anyone to go to so i just ran to my room and started crying. My brother tried bringing me up in a convo. but george just changed the subject. Now my mom is making me and my brother go visit him for christmas and since he called i cant stop thinking about him...or crying...i dont know what to do. The day after he called (thursday) i was sitting in my 2nd period class and i just started weeping, i've never cried during school before...now everything i do reminds me of him and i dont know wat to do. got any suggestions?

~nikki :'(

ps
sry if its confusing.

Oh wow, I just recently started calling my Dad Dave instead of Dad as well. Yours is a lot more difficult though, your Dad has hurt you a lot more than mine has no doubt about it. Mine just effed over our family with a drug addicting and refuses to take his pills for diabetes, but I won't go into that whole story cuz I could blab forever.

I am so sorry for what happened, and for what you are feeling. But maybe, going to see him for Christmas could be a good thing for you and your brother. You never know. I hope everything works out Darling. And if you ever need to talk, I am here.

-Jenna.

Alright, well I'm not in my best mindset at the moment. But I'm going to answer this in the three possible reasons as to why he didn't talk to you. One, is the most brutal of all and if you don't want your feelings hurt (as it might happen) then I would skip this paragraph and go to the next. However, I'll go on with this thought and say: that there is possible chance that he didn't care so much before, and he still doesn't care. Maybe he had a hard time back then, is starting to get cleaned up or pulled back together - and still doesn't feel the things a Father is meant to feel. And if this is the case, than he's not worth your time thinking or worrying about anything. Try not to fret over it. I know that's easier said than done, and so much easier for Me to say; but I honestly think that if you could live without a word from him before, that you can do it again; and it might even put you in a better mood after getting used to it again.

A second reasoning for it, could be the complete opposite from above. He might have phoned to say hi because he felt he should, and wanted to hear what he's been missing. Maybe he's finally catching up with the important things in life and opened his eyes to the significance of family and love; however, in this case, he may have decided not to talk to you because he didn't want to hurt you more than he knew he already had. Giving you words to hang onto and linger over, after seven years of nothing... Well to him, he might have thought that to be hard on you and thought the best way was to let you forget about him... After all, some strongly believe that being mad with pain is alot less heart wrenching than feeling depressed and hurt. (There's many of us out there.) So he may have thought he was protecting you in some warped way.

And last but not least, he could've been scared. Wondering if you would give him that second chance or not. Maybe he used up the little bit of courage he had to phone in the first place, and after a while there wasn't much left of him. Some courage is merely impulse reaction rather than full blown faith in risk. Maybe he'll phone back again another time to talk to you? Financial situation perhaps? - I know that when I was little, my Dad didn't always phone me, and when he did he didn't necissarily talk to me but one of my siblings or mother. That was due to his lack of pay cheque and telephone line.

All in all, you've got a support system on this site that's here for you. So whatever situation this ends up being, you're not alone, and we'll all listen to any rantings that may need to be done. Good luck and best wishes. (Sorry for the blabbing... I think I'm gonna go have a nap now. My head hurts lol) -Stefhy

P.S. If you do end up goin' for christmas, you may want to set yourself up for more hurt and/or confusion. Whether you get attached and have to leave again, or you don't get attached at all...Either one could hurt... Then again if you don't go, you might miss a chance. Every great reward starts with a great risk. So if you're willing to take it, then I hope all the best for you. (And if you don't want to, you may want to speak up now to your Mom)

even though i've not been through what you have been through, i'll try my best to help.
of course when you go to see your dad for christmas, it will be extremly akward. personally, i think you should go and rekindle the relationship you guys had once before if you did have a good relationship before. you should mention about the phone call and ask questions. you're mature and old enough to get the answers from your dad. actually, you DESERVE to know the answers, after all, he's been gone for 7 years. ask questions, get answers. good luck, and god bless.

its so hard to know that he wouldnt or didnt want to talk to me i dont know wat to do to stop crying. every time i listen to a love song it just reminds me of him and its rly kinda hard and then i start crying and my mom thinks i dont love her anymore becuz im crying over him...i just dont know wat to do any more.

What I do to calm myself down over him is I tell myself over and over again that I don't need his bullsh*t. That me and my Mother are too good for him and until he cleans up and fesses to his mistakes he is not a state of mind. Of course, I still think about him everyday; but it helps a little more each day to the next.

So basically, you have got to sit in silence...no love songs to make you sad; and think about it. Think about what he did to you and your family, and what it will now take to get over it. He left you for seven years - and suddenly, out of nowhere; he called. So why did he call? You do not know that, and myabe it is better that you don't. You need to get on without him or with him. This is only your decision.

About the Mom thing, you need to talk to her about how you feel with it all. Tell her everyday how much you love her. You have got to try and stay strong to help keep her going strong Darling.

I know all of this is easier said than done, but - I did it. And in the end, right now, it is getting easier and easier. Good luck.

-Jenna.