About a friend of mine!

I have this best friend...She was my whole heart...She started dating guys and we wasnt as close but we were still friends...Which is good...Shes been dating this guy for over a year...She was in love with him and he was in love with him...I remember on her 16 birthday, he baked her a cake and brought it to school...During lunch time he brought the cake out and started singing...IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOOL! He was so sweet to her! They were perfect! About a month ago he and his friend got into an accident! They ended up going to the hospital...His friend was stable but my best friends boyfriend wasn't...He was slowly dieing! He ended up passing away the day after his accident because he had no brain waves left! My best friend is so depressed! Everyday she talks about killing herself...I feel so close to her now that her boyfriend is dead but I wish he wasn't...I would give up my life just to replace him! He was her whole life! Anyways to add on to my best friends pain was the fight we got into...She said I wasn't there for her when I know I was! I didn't know what to do because I didn't want to upset her so I didn't say a word! We finally got to talk things through about a week ago...It has helped out so much! I love her to death! She is still depressed and still hurting but there is no way to take the pain away...I can only be there for her...Another thing to add on her pain is that her parents are getting a devorice! She loves her dad to death and her mom is pushing him away! But the good news is that they talked things over and they are going to try to work things out! I hope everything goes ok...Everyday I pray to God that he will make things better for her...I used to blame her boyfriends death on him which I regret...God wanted her boyfriend and that is something you have to deal with...My friend is depressed and I have to be there always...Even if it means my life for hers! Well tell me what you think if you read this? It makes everything feel better when people give me some advice of what I could do to help my friend since she is depressed! Thank you lots! Always, Jennie

Jennifer, I am sorry for the loss that you and your friend are enduring. It is something I can relate to. I lost my husband suddenly after five and a half years and two children. It turned my life upside down. At first I just wanted to withdraw and isolate myself as much as possible. That was followed by a long period of recovery and personal growth. I don’t think you ever get completely over something like this. But on the positive side I eventually did become a stronger and more independent person as a result.

When I was really down I found two authors whose writing was an immense consolation and help on the road toward healing. They were Harold Kushner who wrote “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” and Peter McWilliams, who wrote several very helpful books, particularly one called “How to Survive the Loss of a Love.” This one is available for free because it has been published on the internet at:

http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/books/sur/srtoc.htm

Best wishes ---Lydia

i wish i could help....i am so sorry for your friend...all i can say is be there for her, every time she needs help, help her