I know I shouldn't be posting this

Not even sure why I’m writing this. Several years ago I started frequenting a dating agency website not “looking for love” or anything remotely bazaar like that. I stumbled across the site it was fun, controversial posts, joking, infighting it was life concentrated and spat out in colour. There was this one guy who ruled the message boards he had attract a small army of fans and a large army of people who tried there best to ridicule him to no avail, he was a legend and still is to some degree. I loved his ability and found myself defending his honour against some vicious distracters.

After two years of conflict I eventually came hooked on one of his more critical enemies and sort of messaged her under a false profile we became good friends and eventually I admitted my true identity which she found funny considering how nasty she had been to me previously. She didn’t judge me (she is heterosexual) she wasn’t shocked or angered. I’d spend nine to three in the morning for about eight months, chatting away she was very humorous and was so much help with my depression I can say I literally owe her my life.

It was a strange situation I was her friend and unknown to her she was everything to me. I was off the site for a month mixture of computer problems (bloody dial up) and health reasons. When I went back she had gone, deleted her profile… she had eventually found someone (and nobody deserves to be happy as much as her) she left me this note sawing how much she appreciated my friendship and the fun we had. I’m really happy for her but I’m really dying on the inside I know it’s not appropriate for me to contact her anymore and she lives far away. It’s like reading your favourite book and coming to the end.

I really want to cry… I am

Aww.. That's really sad hun. I know what it's like to absolutely value someones friendship, then lose them. I hope you're alright. I'm sorry there isn't much that i can do to help you. But if you need to talk, or want to, you can email me. Keep your head up hun.

In some ways you may well be right it is a computer screen and theres a keyboard and mouse. But this was more than that, partly because of that barrier we were both able to open up and say things that long term partners wouldn't have reveiled. I would trust her with my life and some of the things she reveiled she obviously had that belief too.

^^^HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I wish I could have seen that HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yes that would be funny.....not. but since she has gone to site events (dating site) and I have seen photo's from others who have posted event logs - so that wasn't a worry . To be honest she was a little bigger than the pictures she had put in her profile. (but we all pick and choose when it comes to that).

I t is different for me I think,I can be completely honest on here ,after all you don`t know me,nothing I say will hurt anyone I know, and if you judge me it doesn`t really matter since I will probably never see you anyway,I like the freedom of it ,I can just be me! In a way you can get to know people and if they like you then you know they are not just looking at the outer appearance but like you for whats on the inside.

aww thats so sad!!!

This place has a wee bit too much drama for me Sluvy...pure hatred drove me away from the poetry sites. I'm sure you could imagine....but I'm here because I miss YOU!! lol

Sorry about interupting the convo here people!! Please carry on...

Oh yea...I am NOT a man!! all woman baby!! lol