Is it too soon to begin dating again?

I would like some opinions from the older members (no offense to the younger ones)
It's been a year since my seperation from my ex husband and 9 months since the divorce was final. I have 5 children ages 13, 14, 15, 16 & 22. I don't really know how the kids will react to a man other than their father. (we were married almost 17 years) Not that I really have my eye on anyone, but I wouldn't mind a date at some point :)
I was just wondering what you guys thought about it, Maybe you have been there and could give me some advice. Any at all is appreciated.
Thanks!

I started dating again a couple years after my divorce.

I do not let the men that I am dating meet my children unless I know that it will be a long term relationship.

My children now (after four years) are starting to want me to get involved and remarried. They realize that no matter what no one will ever replace their dad and I will always love them and be there for them.

My children are ages 8, 10, 12, and 15.

It does take some time and reassurance that you still love them. I have always been honest with my children and told them that I was going on a date, but I never introduced them.

Hope this helps a little

--Sher

Thanks Sherry.
I have been on one date (a while back) It was not so good..lol
I haven't tried it again since.
However, I had already decided that the kids do not need to meet anyone until I think it may be long term.
Right now, I don't really want anything long term...just someone to have fun with & talk to. (needing some adult conversation) LOL

If Mummy aint happy aint nobody happy.. You know when You are ready to start dating again and the kids will be fine with it.. My kids are 9, 13 and 14, they live with their dad and stepmum but always trying to get me set up with someone lol

I was re-married within a year of my divorce... it seems so surreal that I went from a relationship that was built upon layer by layer that had to be worked on at so many levels to an absolute whirlwind where everything has fallen almost exactly into place.

I guess it all depends on what you're doing and when you're doing it. For me it was right place, right time. I met my girl when I wasn't looking for her a few motnhs after my diverce on another continent. Nicely convenient, for me at least.

Your lucky I guess where your children are at an age where you can sit down and talk to them as adults. I'm sure it will be difficult for them regardless to accept another man in your life, but if you communicate to them your wants, needs and desires to find love and happiness in life, assure them that no one will take there fathers place or become more important than your role as a mother to them....they will eventually understand and accept your choices.

I have two boys aged 7 and 4, I'm still with their father and I can honestly say I don't envy your position at all. But I do commend you and I wish you every luck in finding the love and happiness you are searching for...

With love Eirisa

I think that kids are a lot wiser than they used to be , they probably already have an idea that you long for someone in your life,13 year olds today understand a lot more than you might think,the one thing I think is important is that they feel like they are a part of your decisions, talk to them honestly and openly about how they feel about it,you might be surprised to find out they want you to be happy just like you want for them.

I know you said no younger ones, BUT I'm going through this.. well my mom is. Lol.

My mom and dad seperated about a year and 2 months ago, and she's dating again.
I was perfectly fine with this, I knew my parents wouldn't get back together..So, why make her lonely?
My brother on the other hand, didn't like the idea too well. He's 11 years old. He always had this thought my mom and dad would get back together, no matter what.. He thought if he continued everyday to pray and pray that it would happen. Well, when mom brought home her first date, he realized it wasn't going to happen.

I don't know your kids, but I think with their ages they would more likely understand how you feel. The 13 year old may still think that, but I think after your first date he or she will understand better.

So, yeah.. Just..my thoughts. Lol.

-Teria-

Oh, and also No matter what though your children want you to be happy, and they'll accept your desicions, if they like them or not. Why not do this sooner than later? You're ready for it, and I'm sure they'll be ready for it, and if they're not then they'll be ready by the first time your first date arrives, I'm sure of it.

:/

ily:
Thank you for your input. I wasn't thinking about the young people on here who may be going through or have gone through the same situation. I apoligize to all of you for excluding you. I was focusing on the older members who were at one time in my shoes.

Thank all of you for your suggestions. I guess I might give it a whirl & see how it goes :)

I got asked out by a very nice gentleman just today. I haven't really answered him yet. We'll see...

Ohhh, no need for an apology!

GOOD LUCK!!

Well!
I have a date tomorrow night :)
Wish me luck.

Well, the date went fine. The kids are ok with it :)
But, man...was I a nervous wreck LMAO