Give Me Your Best

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    WINNERS AT BOTTOM.

    [[Closed Closed Closed Closed Closed Closed Closed]]
    I'll judge this within the four-day weekend. Thank you for all the entries. =]

    Simple as that. I want your best poem. Nothing less.

    Rules:
    1. I HATE friendship poems...But you can still post it if it's your best. (Remember, it's my opinion that counts here.)
    2. Love is VERY hard to accomplish, but again, you can try.
    3. No 500 lined poems (Seriously, keep it under 25)
    4. No reserves, just post. If you don't make the first twenty, eh. If you reserve, I will not count it until you get your poem up.
    5. When I say 'your best' it seems logical that would be one already written...for you never know how good or bad the next one will be.
    5a. However, you CAN write a new peice. So, new or old.
    Ends...Let's give it...Twenty people. Or one week. Whichever comes first.
    ``````````````````````````````````````````````
    1. CharismaticCountryGirl
    2.×мιѕѕ cιασ вєllα×
    3.FlirtingWithDeath
    4. *¤TheJohnston¤*
    5.Ilinca Milosan
    6.♥JeSS♥ ~Beautiful Mistake~
    7.Symmetrically Unique
    8.Gemma
    9.DoDreamsReallyComeTrue?{Skippy S
    10.Twisted Heart
    11.Oscar
    12. dhaval
    13.Bryan
    14. sharona
    15.Italian Stallion
    16. Emily
    17. Bob Shank
    18.RoadandtheRadio
    19.No Need For A Name
    20.~*Who Cares?*~
    21. DarkPrincess© [Because she asked if she could enter a certain poem and I didn't get back to her before #20 entered. So, it is only fair. =]]
    ````````````````````````````````````````````
    Prizes:
    1st: 5 comments/votes - 2 critics/votes
    2nd: 4 comments/votes - 1 critics/votes
    3rd: 3 comments/votes
    4th: 2 comments/votes
    5th: 1 comment/vote

    Enjoy. =]

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • *Charisma*
    18 years ago

    Blind Eyes

    Cluttered thoughts and jumbled words
    things unspoken things unheard
    wish i could clear this canvas clean
    start again and wipe the screen
    my heart whispers to my mind
    it causes me to walk eyes blind
    i pray my mind is stronger now
    to stop the wrong, and right allow
    i've known the truth but it denied
    not wanting it and choosing lies
    but now it shines bright and true
    I've chosen it through and through
    the danger ends i've seen the signs
    i no longer walk with eyes wide blind

    By: Charisma
    Normally my poems are much longer, but this is one of my favs. and one of my shorter ones.

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    Very nicely done, sweetie.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • aDORKable x3
    18 years ago

    I should like to enter as well! =]

    I'm Just A Poor Cinderella
    by ×мιѕѕ cιασ вєllα×

    I will never be his Cinderella but he'll always be my prince
    I could never love another and I've never loved one since
    How could I give up hope when that's all I could give
    When I made him my everything our life, I chose to live

    Don't make someone your everything, don't make him your all
    Because what is there to catch you whenever you will fall
    He will always be my everything, but I'll never be his
    It's the love that we once had that will be forever missed

    I see him now and then with his new princess
    Somehow, they fit so perfectly, I guess
    I wonder if he cares about this poor Cinderella
    But how could anyone? Especially, this fella

    I'm just some poor Cinderella, just some young girl
    Who stupidly made some boy her whole entire world
    So I guess I'll have to learn not to make that mistake again
    Because my path in life is covered with "might-have-been's"

    This poor Cinderella patiently waits for her prince
    Who has maybe loved another, but hasn't loved one since.
    Who will kiss away her troubles and off her feet, be swept
    Who'll dry up all the fears and tears. that over the years, she's wept

    One of the best... I couldn't really pick one... =]

  • FlirtingWithDeath
    18 years ago

    Hm Love is a hard one huh...I will give it my best shot ;0

    ~A day of bliss~

    Let's go chase butterflies
    Into the nights sky,
    Run with Fireflies
    As if we could fly.

    Swim with the fishes
    In the glossy
    Water world
    Gallop with the horses
    On the soft sandy shore.

    Raise our hands
    We have no fear
    Let the rain poor on us
    And was away our tears.

    Our love is strong
    We will soar high
    Above the universe
    Like two doves
    We have become.

    When sunlight awakens
    And kiss us with her glow
    Settle down in our
    Cherry blossom bed
    And listen to the morning song.

  • CondescendingHeart
    18 years ago

    Broken Chains
    by *¤TheJohnston¤*

    With broken chains I'm bound,
    Into this world of hate,
    I see beyond the fears of all,
    With useless appeals of fate,

    Your judging lies and games,
    In which I can't understand,
    I've played with these thoughts,
    And followed every command,

    I'll Carry the weight of the world,
    And keep what's left beneath me,
    I'll Hide it from what it is,
    So no one will truly see,

    Just undo these chains,
    I've broken for you,
    What Locks me down,
    I can't brake through,

    Breathless and in pain,
    I fight for what is true,
    I'll Face this world forever,
    To prove my love for you,

    Although again I've lost,
    In this place so profound,
    All never feel for you
    With these broken chains I'm bound.

  • Elynnka
    18 years ago

    Entangling beauty
    by Ilinca Milosan

    The sun was almost setting into a sky of fire
    Her black eyes were gazing over her empire
    As her servants built their web around trees,
    Suffocating roses and alluring yellow bees.

    Red lips deceivingly smiling, such beautiful grin,
    Such a wonderful pale face to hide what’s within,
    Stretching her arms and lying on the solid ground
    She lurks in silence – to evil and mischief bound.

    Looking at the dazzling sky as darkness falls
    Her ears devour with satisfaction desperate calls
    Of those trapped and entangled in her webs
    As their breath is away taken and their body ebbs.

    Such cruelty lies in her black forsaken heart,
    But her marvelous beauty lures you in the dark -
    Another foolish victim finds its end in her hands
    As its screams shall remain unheard on these lands.

    Hope you like it =)

  • aDORKable x3
    18 years ago

    darn I have to compete with Georgi again..... I love that poem hun!!

  • Gem
    18 years ago

    Fly, fly. Now is the time
    Fly to where the stars all shine
    Fly upon the gently breeze
    Soar above the lakes and trees

    Fly, fly. On winds of love
    Fly beside the graceful dove
    Fly away to the unknown
    Always remember, your not alone

    Fly, fly. Towards the sun
    Fly, your journey has begun
    Fly untroubled from the pain
    No need to feel sadness again

    Fly, fly. Spread your wings
    Fly to where the angels sing
    Fly away at your own pace
    Your on course to a better place

    Fly, fly. Your finally free
    Fly across the land and sea
    Fly, fly. Towards the light
    Go now, the time is right

    *Gem*

  • Infected with His Deadly Love
    18 years ago

    Behind my smiles
    My past does lie
    No one See's that
    My eyes do cry

    Behind my smiles
    My pain doesn't show
    If you only knew
    That my tears do flow

    Behind my smiles
    My heart has been broken
    If you can see the cracks
    That's all that needs spoken

    Behind my smiles
    No one will ever see
    That the girl who is showing
    Isn't really me

    --------------------------------------------------------
    I chose this one coz i has the most votes n comments. Hope you like it

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    *¤TheJohnston¤* --

    I said keep it under 25. You still may have a spot, but please post another...it's not fair letting you off with more than 25 and the others not. Thanks.

    Everyone--
    Nice job so far...Keep it up.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • Twisted Heart
    18 years ago

    Decadent Soldiers
    by Twisted Heart

    Go forth ye soldiers, who sunshine craves
    Upon the land strip mother earth
    Plunder and rape the maiden, fair of face
    With her blood and body, quench thy thirst.
    Draw battle lines upon the ground
    And feast ye upon thy brethren host
    As clashing swords and victory sound
    Spear thy son's and daughter's ghost.

    Take heed thy lovers of the day
    And draw a bath of bitter wine
    Bathe the demons who has come to play
    Among the heathens lost in time.
    Slay Satan's foes with a single stance
    And watch as fallen angels pray
    Take thy victims sorrowed dance
    And pull them crying into decay.

    Seek not ye penance for thy deeds
    Nor sift among the ashen purge
    But praise the eyes of Satan's greed
    And grasp the pungent wilted curse
    Then hardened soldiers slink back into
    The barren chaos, from which ye came
    As festering maggots invade the tombs
    Of soulless victims of the Devil's Reign.

  • Oscar
    18 years ago

    My Guardian Angel
    by Oscar

    I stand here protected, as one guarded child.
    I sit alone safely, where nothing is wild.
    Never been in danger, never in harm's way.
    and all of life's challenges, waited at bay.

    i have always been happy, for I've never felt pain.
    my angel stands by me through sun snow and rain.
    she is always smiling. and a smile she receives.
    she tricks enemies away, or is it me she deceives?

    I have always been guarded, and so never in fear.
    and I stay locked up always, year after year.
    have not seen a human, for she said they are bad
    and even though i am healthy, i remain sad.

    have i been missing out, is there much more to life,
    could i someday have children and maybe a wife?
    I must see it for myself, no longer can i wait.
    i must be fragile, for fear is a human trait.

    i wanted the experience, yet she locked me in.
    i tried to run away, but she will always win.
    I'm stuck here forever, i cry through the night.
    and for the first time ever, i am feeling fright.

    so long's gone by now, i still am stuck here.
    i now cry every night, for real life is so near.
    but here i shall stay, until my final breath.
    so is she My Guardian Angel, or my Angel of Death.

  • swill
    18 years ago

    WINDS OF CHANGE

    I’ve started smelling you in roses,
    feeling you in the damp, dim evenings,
    and seeing you in its lilac dew.

    Meaning it was that I’d searched for,
    and meaning it was, that you gave me.
    This cold oil had never known
    that there would come a day, when
    your loving flame would kiss my lamp
    and thaw my miseries away…
    Now amidst your loving arms,
    I am draped in peace, and a warmth
    that I think my heart has grown addicted to…
    The light illuminates, yet warns me,
    and I can see the misty road just far enough
    to tell me that it’s wise to be scared,
    for reality is harsh, and the past tells me
    that there are no hands of fate or circumstance
    that do not believe in cruelty;
    none that do not like lashing sand-castles
    with their unrelenting waves of time.
    Even a semblance of a parting is piercing
    so if the winds of change ever cruelly blow,
    and our time together is set in stone,
    I know not what will remain of me…

    But I’ll never stop smelling you in roses,
    feeling you in the damp, dim evenings,
    and seeing you in its lilac dew.

    Because I can’t.

  • sharona
    18 years ago

    TIME TO MAKE YOU MINE

    Some will say "how can i love you?"
    i'll say "i always loved you"
    i just never got the chance to show you.
    it was never me you chose.
    some will say,"i'm wrong"
    but why does it has to be wrong?
    when my heart is saying it's right.
    some will say,"it will never last."
    "not true",i'll say
    once we're together,we know it will last.
    you will tell that this is not a game
    life is so real.
    i'll say all
    all that talk is in the past
    now it's time to make the future.
    now it's time to make you mine.

  • CondescendingHeart
    18 years ago

    Oh no.
    Im sorry... I Didnt realize how many lines we can have. So I Put in another one... 'Broken Chains.'
    Sorry About that.

    Goodluck everyone.

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    It is absolutely fine. =] I just have a short attention span...I can't sit still and judge all those poems if they are all 600 lines long...Understand? =] Thanks for reposting.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • Italian Stallion
    18 years ago

    Ok, I would like to state this is not my best poem, but I'd like to enter it in your contest, for it is a poem I really enjoyed writting.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The Photo of You
    by Italian Stallion

    Here I am
    Sitting all alone
    Staring at you
    In these photos I have

    Your Radiant smile
    your soft tender lips
    The happiness glows
    From deep within

    I wish it was real
    The photo of you
    I wish you where near
    So I could touch your soft skin

    I want to hold you close
    And be able to call you my own
    Give you a kiss
    And say I love you so

    You are the light
    That shines down on me
    When I am sad
    And when I'm not

    You are my life,
    You mean the world
    I love you darling
    And can't wait
    Till the day we meet

    © Copyright 2006 By: Italian Stallion

  • emmerz
    18 years ago

    In Your Arms

    I was always the one who never took a chance
    Even when my friends gave a knowing glance
    And I never wanted to say what I felt
    In case they turned on me and walked away

    But then theres that one time when I bowed my head
    And listened to the words that you lovingly said
    Then I raised my hand, I took a stand
    Now I'm yours, and you are mine

    Chorus:
    For you, you're all I need
    For you, I want to breathe
    Every chance that I get, I try to repent
    Cause I want to be yours
    Please take me into your arms, Lord

    Whatever they may call you, a saint or a Jew
    I promise to be faithful to only you
    I know there will be times when I want to run
    But you draw me in, and hold me close

    When I turn my back on you, you're there for me
    When I wander from your grace, you help me see
    All the joys and the pleasures you want me to be
    Cause I am yours, you are mine

    Chorus

    In your arms - where I long to be
    When I fall you will catch and carry me
    With you, I will never worry
    With you, I'm safe in your hands - In Gods hands, where I want to be

    i think that's 25 lines... hope its alright! and its ok if theyre lyrics too, right? because its still a poem... otherwise, i can put in a different one!
    Emily

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    Emily--
    Lyrics are fine, I guess. I don't prefer them, but I didn't specify they couldn't be lyrics, so you are just following the rules. I said post your best. You are fine. =]

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • Normal is the Watchword
    18 years ago

    Wildwood Flower

    Beneath night I confide,
    On sheets thin to hold ink,
    Scrawled in minute stains.
    Neglected wildwood flower,
    Pale petals drawn into center,
    Not knowing how long it lay,
    Dying on torn sketchbook page,
    Or when it first bloomed bright.

    Beneath night I confide,
    On mind chained, weighed down.
    The cold air touching my lungs,
    Freezing an out stretched hand,
    Dropped into life’s empty pocket.
    Blue lips whisper an icicle apology,
    Swept into wind’s equal wail echo.
    Alone waits I, pale wildwood flower.

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    Two more spots left.
    I have Thanksgiving Break coming up in two days, so the contest will be judged by next Monday (most likely sooner).

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • No Need For A Name
    18 years ago

    Silent Movie

    You look as if you don't
    Remember all the things of which you know
    Does my heart still beat
    Or does it drowned out that which bleeds

    Broken promises
    Is that all that I really miss
    Can't tell when
    I am alive and when I am dead

    (Pre-Chorus)
    It's black it's white it's gray inside
    It's deafened ears is that of life

    (Chorus)
    Look closely this world is not picture perfect
    Look closely my life is just a silent movie clip
    Look closely and you'll see I'm losing my grip
    Look closely at me and my silent movie

    I walk down these streets
    My footstep follow yours can't you hear it
    Ignore the words I speak
    Or are you just complete ignorant

    Sky is darkened now
    Or I am just looking at a cloud
    It blends in so well
    In the canvas of my hell

    (Pre-Chorus)
    It's black it's white it's gray inside
    It's deafened ears is that of life

    (Chorus)
    Look closely this world is not picture perfect
    Look closely my life is just a silent movie clip
    Look closely and you'll see I'm losing my grip
    Look closely at me and my silent movie

    Scissors won't cut through
    That blame lies directly on you
    What now I ask
    For me to finally remove the mask
    Because of you it's there
    And I can't repair, I can't repair

    (Pre-Chorus)
    It's black it's white it's gray inside
    It's deafened ears is that of life

    (Chorus)
    Look closely this world is not picture perfect
    Look closely my life is just a silent movie clip
    Look closely and you'll see I'm losing my grip
    Look closely at me and my silent movie

    No.Need.For.A.Name.

  • LadyPearl
    18 years ago

    Would you mind a Christmas Poem? *Smiles Sweetly*

  • Wasted Fake Smiles
    18 years ago

    Ghosts Don't Cry

    Walking around, aimless, lost in the crowd.
    Trying to be heard, but the noises are so loud.
    After a long day, coming home to fights,
    Not getting a word in edgewise; lonely nights.

    Welcome to my life, I'm only a ghost,
    Not noticed by many, ignored by most.
    Often want to break down, and want to die,
    Or cry my eyes out, but ghosts don't cry.

    Finally a little freedom, out with friends,
    But ignored by you, the pain never ends.
    Love shown one way, yet hate the other,
    Then the time comes to see my mother.

    I see her only a little, yet important I'm not,
    Complaining and yelling, making cheeks hot.
    Talking to her boyfriend for an hour it seems,
    Actually spending time with HER is just a dream.

    Welcome to my life, a ghost I'll remain,
    Many ignore me, many don't know my name.
    Often I want to break down, but when I try,
    I recall that one thing, ghosts don't cry.

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    Noni--
    Go for it.. And since I like you, I'll wait a day or two since I can't judge this yet anyways.
    As long as it is your best. (And it'll be hard to top Jaded Eyes!=]) Hurry, though, with the entry. =]

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • LadyPearl
    18 years ago

    Thank You!

    Christmas Beauty

    The chandelier of heaven lights
    Descend upon the waking night
    Serenity plays upon winter bliss
    Everything with love exists
    Wake up children, morning sings
    Spread your mind, spread your wings
    The angels cheer with Christmas hymns
    Waiting for laughter to begin

    Look at those small almond eyes
    Look how bright they seem to shine
    Drinking in the perfect portrait
    Of ruby red orbs on the tips
    Of a large shimmering emerald tree
    And the whiteness situated like a sea
    Or like a carpet of small opal jewels
    Still, silent and wondrously cool

    Dig into your pool of presents
    Embrace upon the warming scent
    For once, enjoy the sweet emotions
    And the yelling family commotion
    For once, be thankful of the love
    That God has sent from high above
    And just remember now to cherish
    For one day, those things will fade and perish

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    How My Contests Are Judged (So you know it's fair):

    It is a simple process, but it takes some time, but IS the fairest I can think to judge a contest.

    1. I have not read any of the poems in advance, so I have no idea who wrote what.

    2. I copy and paste all poems into Word Document.

    3. I take all names off the poems (By xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex things), so they are pure poems and nothing more.

    4. I go through read, rate, and comment each poem of exactly what I think of it.

    5. Then, I go through and put them in ranking order from best to worst to find 1st - 5th.

    6. The people who win, win fairly and by having simply the best.

    I Hope Everyone Agrees That Is Fair..

    What I Look For:
    `
    `Correct consistant spelling. [If one word is mispelled, it happens.]
    `Correct grammar.
    `Unquieness. [Is that a word? Lol.]

    The Judging Begins.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • aDORKable x3
    18 years ago

    that sounds like a perfect way to do it! I shoulda thought of that! lol Good Luck everyone!!

    Ciao xx

  • Gem
    18 years ago

    Great way of judging!

  • Wasted Fake Smiles
    18 years ago

    lol woot. fair judging:) good luck everyone:)

  • *Charisma*
    18 years ago

    so excited to see the results. love the judging style!
    Charisma*

  • LadyPearl
    18 years ago

    I should do that too

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    Everyone --
    I'm trying to get this done, but as soon as I do something comes up. I'm going to try my hardest to get it done today, but if I don't, I will sometime soon.
    Thank you for the wait.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • aDORKable x3
    18 years ago

    np hun! don't worry about it
    Ciao xx

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    And the Winners Are....
    ================================
    I had to enclude these guys because I just loved the poems anyways and they were very close to placing. So, one comment for each of you.
    Honorable Mention-
    `Deception
    `````````````````````````````````````````
    5th Place-
    Winds of Change

    This is a very low place for you, it should have been higher, but somehow the others just caught my eye. You really should be tied for at least third, but this is where you landed in my heart.
    Now, this is a beautiful poem. The way it is written fits the type of poem extremely well. The imagery is beautiful as well...I'd be very proud of this piece if I wrote it. Wonderful job.

    `````````````````````````````````````````
    4th Place-
    Wildwood Flower

    There is no wrong to this poem, in my opinion. You should be proud, if this is your best. It is wonderfully written and tells such a simple story. I know almost know one who could take such a simple object and display such emotion and care. Great job.
    ``````````````````````````````````````````
    3rd-
    Framed

    Complaints: I suggest to use more puncuation. It is only a suggestion, but it helps the reader know when to pause or go straight through. I found when I began to use puncuation many more understood them better, as well.
    Praise: I simply loved the word useage here. You have a strong vocabulary, which is important for a poet. Now, the topic is simply amazing. Such a way to describe sanity! I loved it. Great job.
    `````````````````````````````````````````
    2nd-
    Entangling Beauty

    Complaint: I also would suggest using punctuation here as well.
    Praise: Very nice use of words. A dazzling picture you provided for me on this poem. I'm not sure what else to say, I'm at loss for words of such beauty.
    `````````````````````````````````````````
    AND
    1st-
    Decadent Solider

    Praise: This poem is simply dumbfouding amazing. The words fit perfectly to the style of the poem.
    The topic isn't cliche and is exactly my type of writing. The rhyiming wasn't too cliche, but flowed very nicely. And the ending was perfect. Over-all, it is a very, very well written poem. You should be proud this is your best. Great job.
    ``````````````````````````````````````````

    Everyone else--
    It was very hard to pick these winners. Most of these poems were very well written, but someone had to win. I congradulate all of you for producing some wonderful poetry. Good job.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    I look forward to reading more of the winners' poems! Please leave the correct number of titles and or critics as well.

  • Elynnka
    18 years ago

    Thank you for the suggestion on punctuation and also thank you for choosing me for second place, I appreciate it ^^
    Congrats to everyone else as well! *hug*

    As for the poems, I would like if you could comment on these ones:
    01. Chrysanthemums scent
    02. A place in Heaven for the Fallen
    03. Red roses... raven feathers
    04. Lacrymosa

    And if you could critique on this one:
    01. Red roses and violins

    --- You can find them all in my featured poems. I would appreciate it if you weren't too harsh with your comments/critiques. Thank you =)

  • xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex
    18 years ago

    That was a d-mn lot to read. But very nicely written. I knew I'd enjoy your work. Hope I didn't offend you.

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

  • Normal is the Watchword
    18 years ago

    You can pick any ofmine that you haven't read yet

  • aDORKable x3
    18 years ago

    congrats winners!!!

    Ciao xx