Why do you feel obliged to criticize depression threads?

Do you have x-ray vision? Can you tell who really has problems and who has things all out of proportion? The more I learn about depression related illness the more I realize it’s like trying to be a brain surgeon. Complicated sometimes contradictory depression is an enigma that even the experts disagree over.

Ok some people love to seek attention. But lets face it depression has a stigma that right up there with sexually transmitted diseases. Who in their right mind would want to admit to being depressed (let alone when your mind is hijacking your life).

Why don’t you jump in and tell me how you know all these people who are in such horrible situations but still manage to get on with life. Personally I look back on an injury that severely affected my life for over a decade and can say with total confidence that it wasn’t a major influence in the problems I had with depression. Yet you throw this argument in people’s faces who you know nothing about.

The problem is you try to rationalize something that’s often irrational. I read recently someone’s post that cut themselves but was dismissive of posting anything on site as it was a total waste of time. I thought, here we have someone who can’t even voice how they feel because they would only be shot down in flames. I emailed this person asking to explain why they cut themselves. I personally couldn’t get my head around cutting as it was something hadn’t experienced when I was facing depression.

I’m not going to post their answer as it not my place to divulge something that was given to me in confidence. This person told me about themselves and what her reasons were.
The amazing thing was I could relate some I my experiences to her answer. She had some major problems and to be truthful her words brought me to tears. And I can be quite a cynical bitch at times.

It’s a shame because of some posters this person doesn’t feel she can post here own honest thoughts here. Waits for all the self righteous depression experts to pencil in their amazing insight.

Elisha- I have been waiting some time for someone on this site to start talking some sense, I am glad that you have taken this opportunity to do so.

It is very reassuring to see a coherently explained opinion, written in real words and not txt.

These discussion boards need more compassionate and intelligent people such as you, as so often it seems that the two do not merge well.

Thank you for your insight.

Mr. Shank(Ooh Creepy)

bob!
You say that 'and if they really wanted to die, why cut little slices of skin....it's a choice, either live and fight, or curl up and die. ' but many times those who SI do not want to die, many self injur as a form of what they believe is 'fighting' as you say. Sure, many who come on here /do/ exagerate their problems, and i do not pity so much those 13 year olds who arent aloowed out after 10. but those whose probems aren't so stupid as this. but not as severe as living with a rapist for a father and a drunk for a mother, i do sypathize with. (i have 'empathy' for those who are going through the severe)

but i know from experience that those, us with some of the 'less severe' problems can be considered as in just as rouhg shape as those with 'severe' problems. some one said to me before(some one with a horrible life behind him) 'Each problems are the worst they've dealt with; To you your problems are so REAL. To Me mine are. I do not think you are overreacting about your life and it's problems, because your problems /are/ horribly real for you. Even thought mine may beworse, they are my problems and are real for me'(well it was something along those lines)

If you did not understand this. he was saying that people like himself, ones with what could be considered having the worst possible life, have problems that are horrible for him. but those with 'not-so' horrible problems still are in pain and their problems are horrible for them. each persons problems are real to them.
so don't judge what others are going through from what could be the worst. Even those with medium problems still need help and guidance and advice. just like those with severe.

i probably made no sense.. but i just had stuff i wanted to say to everyone. not jsut bob.

(and ireally hope i dont get in trouble for this post.. hum like the last one.)

x.x:Lauren

Bob do you have any thoughts in regards to why a country like New Zealand politically free, economically a sound country, safe and relaxed has such high suicide rate. (4th women 6th men Nationally)

I love where I live, but following your reasoning we should be a happy society.

Bob your last comment strikes me as basically saying "Your problems don't mean anything, the rest have it far worse". I had that view for a long time as did the rest of my family. Experience taught me differently. Sometimes when you keep looking at the big picture you lose sight of the little things. The more you say it doesn't effect you the more you internalize things. The more you become numb to everthing else.

Helping that one person DOES help the group. As the saying goes its the little things that matter.

World Aids Day is great for awareness but I didn't need a day to tell me to visit my cousin in a hospice before he died of aids.

After reading this post I plan on reading a lot of others to see who I can help instead of telling them thier problems are small in comparison.

this is a very nice thread...i agree with alot said although when ive put up a thread i usually get good advice....sometimes people get smart ellicky but maybe they are like me just hurting and bitter on the inside usually the bashers are hurting as much as the person they are bashing

I respect your opinion Rainbow Child although just like you others are entitled to there as well. I am a harsh critic within the depression forum I must admit I try to be helpful but I don't b/s and I certainly don't sugarcoat what I believe, nor do I appreciate the people who have such threads which are clearly attention seeking. I do however recognise that some do relate to serious issues and although harsh I try my best to make my criticism constructive... ever heard of cruel love or being cruel to be kind?

you all do make sense.. but about bashing and something.. i think i get your point.. sometimes.. the only way to help a person is to make them realize the things they forget to acknowledge.. sometimes.. when in the veil of depression we tend to think differently.. so.. we have to make them see the kind of view a person has when he/she is happy..

and most of the time.. when we try to help someone we end up telling our life story of our own depressions and how we got over it etc. instead of focusing on the person we are trying to give an advice to.. we have all have problems in life.. and sometimes.. we cant keep it all to ourselves thats why we try to reach out for others..

*sigh*.. being depressed is such a horrible feeling.. listening to stories of people who are depressed makes me think more of the things i am depressed about.. but.. ya know what? sometimes.. we have to be sad to realize the true meaning of happiness..

[forgive me if im goin off topic.. my mind is in a mumbo jumbo right now]

'if it were only that simple in everyday life, Dr. Phil would be homeless'

If only... ;)

Ok, way off topic... but maybe it's just me, or is it that there are a lot of posts saying "Help me" and explaining their problems, and they get.. well, lectured, to put it mildly, and then there's more posts made by kind people saying " I've gone through a lot of stuff and I'm willing to help anyone, etc" and these people are mostly told that who do they think they are, as they are too young to know anything about life, etc...

I understand perfectly that I'm being overly-critical, but that was just to get my point across.
I was thinking that maybe the people that are begging for help and the ones who can't wait to give it should hook up sometime...

//T.L.//

maybe the ones going through it want to share. Maybe knowing what others are feeling makes them want to help

Believe it or not, I think that the people who seek attention are doing something that's actually good. They're advocating for themselves by talking to people who they feel they can trust enough, but are distant enough to pull the plug on the whole situation if it gets messy. That's also protecting themselves. Better that they voice their frustrations online than bottle them up inside and make things even worse. I don't think that anyone conciously tries to rile people up and get attention, just because. There's always a reason. Say I were to post "I cut last night," but it wasn't true. Think for a minute what the different reasons could be. Maybe I was thinking about cutting and wanted other people to give me suggestions. Maybe I was feeling depressed and wanted to hear from people who could relate. It could be that while I was thinking about it, I wanted to see how many people thought it was a helpful thing to do. Maybe it wasn't even related to that. Even if I were trying to get people upset, they would be a reason deep down for doing it. Understand what I mean? Sorry if I'm not very clear...

first off, I am so glad somebody finally mentioned something about this issue. and that IS what it is; an issue. Since when you click on "depression and sadness" it says on the bottom "need a shoulder to cry on?". honestly, what most the people do to the people with true problems(I can't say who has the real ones and who is attention seeking, but neither can the people who criticize them.) is NOT having a shoulder to lean on, that is being picked on/put down for having problems. I do think this is a major issue that needs to be fixed.

second, Holy, ROFL haha I love Dr. phil.

some people get annoyed by others wanting attention
but sometimes just a bit of attention will make you feel so much better
so why not give it ?? it does nothing to you , and only helps themm and makes them happyer
i
me xx x

because they sometimes get violent/explicit/influential (aka, monkey read, monkey do)