help a fellow poet

i wrote this poem about finding out my dad had lung cancer, and i know its not the best, adny suggestions on what would make it better would be helpfull.
Thanks*
&*Bianca!*

C-A-N-C-E-R
my life flashes before my eyes
as i hear the news.
all our time together
every laugh
every smile
and i dont know what to do
I have never been the type
to live my feelings out loud
to tell people when im hurting
or maybe this time im dieing
i cant be too sure,
the pain is so real.
But i must be strong
at least on the outside
and i have grown so good
you cant tell the difference
but when i look in the mirror
and stare deep into my eyes
i can see it
i have never been so afraid in my life
never been so confused
how could this happen
how can my life
and his
and hers
how can all this change
with just one single word?
C-A-N-C-E-R

kk this is how i would put it:

C-A-N-C-E-R
My life flashing before my eyes.
Try to be brave, not to cry.
Hearing the news, my soul breaks.
I keep telling myself, its all fake.
All the time we've spent together.
I thought he would last forever.
Every laugh, and all the smiles.
I only wish it would wait a while.
I don't really know what to do.
Don't ever leave me, I love you.
I am not the type, to say out loud,
Feelings towards this mournful crowd.
Maybe I'm telling because it hurts.
I can make a wish and hope it works.
It's hard to be strong, but I'll try.
My pain's real, I don't want him to die.
I look in the mirror, and what do I see?
A torn apart person and I know it's me.
How can my life, his, and hers...
Change so quickly, with one single word?
C-A-N-C-E-R

Hope you like it! You have a beautiful poem...

-Brittney

Thanks Bob! your great, and yes thats what i wanted was opinions of help becuase i do want to re write it. Also i am writign another poem to go with this from the point of view of the person who has cancer and his wife.
Brittney
thank you your poem was beatiful too!
I have been trying to get away from rhyming too much, and just into free verse poems more, but your revesions were awsome and really captured what ti was liek hearing the news

Imagine if we grew after each re-write of a poem.

I am tall enough already...

If you are trying to get away from too much rhyming then istead of rhyming
aabb
... you could instead write
abcb
such as in one of my poems I write:

Tossed on through,
the waves of time.
Pulled and pushed.
The world is mine.

or
abad
As in:

Here I am
Into his arms I have fell
Forever to Cry in
The Darkness Of Hell

... understand?

Hope that helped :)

if your happy with it then we are all happy with it!

I am really sorry bout your father. It made me feel closer to mine. I don't live with my mother, so my father's all I got