Drug Addicts.

I was just needing to talk or hear some stories from someone who has or is losing someone close to them to a drug addiction. I'm losing my Dad to a crack addiction and it's getting harder and harder, and I really miss who he once was. So any stories or anything would really help.

-Jenna.

My dad was my hero, he honestly WAS.
He was like a big kid and he always
always always made sure that we were loved

God do i miss him,
the real him,
i know what you mean when you
say that you miss who he once was
because thats the truth,
the drugs change the person thats taking
them
SO MUCH.

He was my everything
and then things started changing,
he was never home
and we literally had to go out
at four in the morning to look for him because my
mom was so worried and i always
thought that she was over-reacting but now that
i look back, she wasn't at all.
and i cant even IMAGINE the pain that she went through

it started with his drinking
then the cheating then the drugs
and then a divorce

and i just sat there all day, just thinking
thinking how he could sit here and lie to us
and cheat on my mom and get involved with drugs
and i bawled, i do everytime i think about it.
i know this sounds terrible, but im pretty much
just forgetting everythig about him because
what the heck am i supposed to do?!

how do i now he's not dead in an alley somewhere?
i dont. i havent talked to him in almost 5 1/2 years
and believe me, i have tried but its like
the damn drugs took every ounce of his caring
and faith and LOVE
AWAY.

the last time i saw him,
he looked like crap.
i had never, ever seen him like that
up until that day.

and i looked in his eyes and there was something
there that was trying to reach out, something
screaming for help, and it kills me inside
that i didnt say anything that i wanted to him
he's my dad, i love him, i always will
but right now, he isn't the dad that i loved
not one bit.

I Am So Sorry You Are Having To Go Through This
And Thanks For Just Letting Me Rant, I Needed To Really Bad.

i dont kno my dad but i do kno the one who was there that i called dad i lost his whole family and my mother they arent the people that they could have been and now iam losing myself in hate and pain because of that they say history repeats itself and like ive said before a broken home dont make a broken person but a broken person mad a broken home....but im tired of playin lifes little games...i cant lose anymore people or i have no one...

i know people who are addicted to drugs as well as i am also...its hard for not just me & the others who wanna quit but its also hard for our loved ones...i'm sorry about your dad and everyone else who know's someone who's addicted...i kno that its hard for ya'll...hopefully things will get better tho...if you have the determination (sp?) maybe try & see if they want to quit...and even tho its really hard, its possible...try & help them out...if i had someone that would help me a lil bit more i kno i'd be off a lot quicker then im going...sorry if this doesn't help but if you need someone to talk to im here.

Undercover Angel
Jenna

my uncle is a meth addict and an alcoholic. he still lives with my grandparents and steals their money. whatever. he's disgusting. when i was really young i walked in on him looking at porn multipe times. that left some scars on my young innocence.

oh and my boyfriend's sister is a druggie and alcoholic. she was a stripper for a little while too i think. she's in jail right now. but maybe not for long. she always finds her way out of trouble the second before it becomes too late.

I'm loosing my dad and sister to drugs, my dad has been addicted for a long time and sometimes he doesn't even know my own name. I like to think he's still there but I look at his glossy eyes and see he's gone. I know how it is to loose someon you love when they are standing right infront of you.

I just want to shake him and bring him back to reality sometimes.

My sister is following slowly in my fathers footsteps.

The girl I once sat up till midnight telling my secrets to is now loosing herself for just one more taste of her drugs.

I hope things get better for you, and I know its rough.

I talked to my friends about it, and things have gotten a bit better everyday.

Even though it hurts me to see him like that, one day I'll get the courage to tell him how I feel.

My sister too.

Good luck,

Jessie

what drugs are we talking about?? heroin? crack?

My step-dad smokes weed. He says it helps him relax but like we always go threw this time where we are short on money so he can't get any and he gets really violent. My mom is about sick of it. But we just don't know what to do. I know one day he will get caught. Any my mom will go to jail to, because she knows he does it and never turned him in. It just makes me so mad. because he has two kids that are blood to him. They are both young and one has something wrong with him that no doctor can figure out. It scares me what would happen to them. And selfishly it scares me what would happen to me. Because I can't live with my real dad. It's just overwhelming.

Thanks for asking this question. The subject has been on my heart and I didn't know who or where to go to. Without getting my family torn apart or people finding out.

Rachel

I used to do drugs with my cousin, he is my world, my everything, my angel. But the bad thing about it was, no one really never knew. Til I started to not care anymore and kept trying everyday and night to keep this addiction to keep going. I'm seriously going to cry right now. But I'll continue. I've always liked the feeling of disconnecting from the world and feeling so good and to not have the care in the world. Then when it started to wear off, I became angry. I ended up having no money anymore for shopping or anything like that, cause I always spent it on drugs. I always became sick and I guess I went to my cousin, he didnt know at the time tho, and told him. I needed his help to get me away from the addiction. I was sick of making a fool out of myself, and my world was crashing and I was losing over 30 friends that I've had before. They would always see me high and I would do things to make them uncomfortable, I'd always call them a different name and sometimes fight with them alot. I guess what made me go to my cousin was because I was sick of how everyone looked at me and how I was loosing friends.
I remember going to him with tears in my eyes, and a ripping heart in my chest. And I remember the words I heard come out of my mouth, 'Ryan, I love you with all my heart, that's why I came to you to help me get off drug addiction'. I can just re-picture his mouth start to tremble and I re-picture him grabbing me and hugging me close saying 'I love you with all my heart too, I'll try to help if you help me'. And thats what the deal we made. He would take my money and hide it where I couldnt find it and I know I searched high and low for it but never find it. And whenever I'd get angry he would just come over and start to hug me and say that we'd get over this. And I would always calm down in his arms and his words. It took a long time to get over it. But I got over it. And things became worse because I seriously tried to help my cousin so bad and I really tried but hed always push me away and thats how I started drinking. But hangovers started to get to much for me so I decided that I gave up. Then my cousin was put away for drugs and a few other things, just as I thought I was picking up the pieces of my life. That basket full of peices just dumped again. I tried sucide because I couldnt stand the pain of losing him and not having him here. I took a bottle of Tyneol and drank with it. And I remember myself going out to the balcony and praying that God save me a spare life because after I took the bottle I suddenly thought that if I died I'd leave my cousin in pain. And somehow my grandma found me in the bathroom and God saved me a spare even though I treated my life and him badly. Now I live a drug free life. Just once in a while I drink to let the pain escape! But I have the true friends who knew I could do it thru all the drugs and that. And they are my best friends now. And my cousin is my hero, my world, my everything and my ANGEL!

THANK U SO MUCH FOR ASKING THIS! It felt really good to get this off my mind for the past few years. Now I can live life without thinking about this everyday!