need your opinion!!

hey.. i've been joining this forum and talk mainly about cutting issue.. the good news is i've stopped cutting 3 weeks ago.. just because i'm going back home and i don't want my parents to notice anything weird.. but, 2 days b4 i went home, i took subtances.. well, i would normally alternately use subtance or cutting.. after one week break at home i even hold myself from using subtances anymore.. but man, the effects of the subtance is so great that everytime it comes around i feel like losing it... every night i had trouble to sleep until about 4-5 am and the thing that i hate is that whenever i don't get depressed that evening, feel a little better and thought that tomorrow will be a better day, i was damn wrong.. it haunts me in my sleep.. i dreamt about all the things that cause me great pain.. evidently, the pain felt so real even when i woke up, i realise that i was crying badly.. sometimes i almost ran out of breath and it felt like dying... i told myself that it's just a dream but the dream actually reminds me of the real world which i'm trying so hard to get away from.. well, plus the effects of the substance i used i don't know what to do right now.. i'm feeling really bad and depressed of nothing... i don't know what it's all about.. i tried to talk to my teacher but he just oversimplified the whole thing and said that it's very normal.. if it is that normal, then i wouldn't force my gut and tell him all this.. people, what i'm feeling is soo bad right now that i don't see the point of living.. and worst, i don't know what it is.. it's just a plain, great feeling of sadness..

so, i really need your opinion..
thanx a bunch~ XX

You should really think about seeing a psychiatrist. I know it's not the answer all the time, but in some cases, you might need medication. I know that it helped me alot. I felt the same way. Always depressed, but not knowing why. I hope this helps. :-)

thanks for ur reply.. when i met my teahcer earlier he said that i dont need to see psychiatrist or something because he said it's what evry teenager is going through.. he said i have no change in behaviour nor academic performance.. i don't show this other side of me to the others because i feel insecure and they might freak out... so, i really dont know~

Feeling like you want to die is NOT something every teenager goes through. Your teacher is obviously smoking crack! LOL But seriously, a normal thing would to be upset, not feeling like you should end your life. You need to tell your parents that you are suicidal, or a school COUNSELOR. Not a teacher. Preferably your parents tho. And make it known to them that you want to see a therapist. (Assuming you do) Just please dont' do anything to hurt yourself. Things WILL get better and people DO care. If you ever need to talk, you can email me at Luvmeluvr@yahoo.com. I hope you feel better. :-)

the problem is that my parents is the main reason why i constantly feel depressed.. i can't hurt them by saying they are the reason why i'm feeling suicidal right now.. since i'm the eldest, i can't make them lose hope on me.. they dont even know that i've been cutting myself..never doubt me.. i tried not to hurt myself anymore.. but loneliness just triggers it.. no matter how hard i tried to hang out with people and have fun, it's just seem so fake.. it's like you're on a theatre stage... can i ask why did you see therapist or how well does it go? i've thought of that b4..

I have been seeing a therapist for 3 1/2 years and I think it helps alot. I think the medication they have me on also helps. Of course there are times when I still feel hopeless, but not nearly as much as before. The reason I started seeing somebody is because I attempted suicide a few times. Let's see....if your parents are the reason you are depressed, you don't necessarily have to tell them that. Just tell them you want to see someone about it, and then you can talk to the therapist about it. What else....is there anyone you can talk to like a friend? And just so you know, I am here for you if you need to talk. If you need to get things out, I can listen as well. :-)