these feelings are so hard to deal with..

I'm going to be honest, that questiong wasn't well constructed. Have you ever heard of a period? Or a complete (not run-on) sentence?

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Anyways.
Your answer to what I can understand -
It seems your boyfriend is your outlet. You care for him, I assume, and he cares for you. He's the thing that brings happiness to your life and you depend on him. (Not always a bad thing.) He understands you more than anything and always takes care of you.
Am I hitting a spot here? Tell me if I do...
When you're not with him, you feel alone and lost because he's not by your side; you don't know what to do without him because he's the only thing that makes you happy and the only person that understands you.
Closer? Maybe...?
i have so much hurt in my life and anger for people could this be the reason i feel so alone?
^^^
I wouldn't say so. I would say you feel alone because you might not feel accepted somewhere or you may not have many friends.
You're anger to people and hurt in your life may be the cause of feeling alone, but really, you are the only thing that makes yourself feel 'alone'. You control who you talk to and what you act like.
If you feel alone, get out and do something. Converse with friends. Take deep breaths and welcome yourself to the world.

Good luck.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

In many cases of such hate for society, and the world in general, your hate is a fabricated mask, covering displeasure for yourself.

It is easier to hate something tangible and real than approach the feelings you have for yourself in a rational and healthy manner.

The fact that this young man has opened your heart means that your heart 'can' open to things.

Let me ask you a few questions that may help you understand (All of which are rhetorical and only meant to be answered within yourself).

Do you care for him?

Do you care for that which he cares?

Does he care for the world?

Does he care for society?

Do you see where I'm going?

Let him be a window into compassion. See your own life through his eyes and let that be your guidance.

Often times we grow, not through ourselves, but through others.

Grow young child. Seek out the sun and let it caress your blooming soul. Before late spring you just may be a beautiful flower.