Scary Roommate

This is how to scare the living daylights out of your roommate and make them think you’re insane

Have fun ^^

Announce everything you do as a group activity. (i.e. “We’re going to bed now.”) If your roommate fails to do whatever you said, accuse him/her of not being a “team player”.

As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around and pretend to be confused.

Break a window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that you were hot. Open and close the window as you normally would.

Bring in potential “new” roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her and reply, “Oh, him/her? He/she won’t be here much longer.”

Buy a copy of Helter Skelter or Silence of the Lambs or any equally gruesomely titled book. Sit in the room with your roommate and read the book (or pretend to) with a highlighter mumbling, “That looks good…” as you highlight passages in the book.

Buy a gun. Polish it every day. One day, put a Band-Aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.

Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If they say no, drop the watermelon out a window. Make it look like suicide. Give your roommate dirty looks during the funeral.

Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you’re doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, “Soon, soon…”

Chase your roommate with a bloody toothbrush. Tell him/her “It only hurts for a little while.”

Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. When your roommate questions you, refuse to discuss the situation.

Constantly slip and fall on the carpet.

Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say “Don’t worry. It’s not what you think.”

Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then, look at your roommate, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.

Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of water. When he/she brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go to sleep. If he/she refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging, until he/she does so.

Every time you enter a room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, “It’s not funny anymore.”

When you see your roommate yell, “You son of a…” and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.

Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, then wake him/her up and say, “It’s time to go to bed now.”

Fake a heart attack. When your roommate brings the paramedics, act like nothing happened.

Insist your roommate write a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, say excitedly, “Oooh, are you dying?”

Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf on it for about 15 minutes. Then pretend to “wipe out”, and fall of the bed and onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes over to “rescue” you.

Go for joy-rides in the washing machine.

Hang all your posters up facing the wall.

Hang stuffed animals with nooses from the ceiling. Whenever you walk by them, whisper “You shouldn’t have done that to me.”

When your roommate walks by when you’re watching TV, point a finger at them while keeping your eyes the screen. Stay like that until they leave.

Invite a homeless person to live in your room and sleep in your roommates bed.

Invite your roommate to sleep over.

Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, “Psst! Is it gone?”

Put a Snickers in the toilet.

Redivide the room horizontally. Say that you want the bottom half.

Talk to your “Rice Krispies.” All of the sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, “No. I want to watch them suffer.”

Whenever you go to sleep, start jumping on your bed. Do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you got knocked out. Use this method to fall asleep every night for a month.

While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, lay on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

(only works with a bunk bed) Pretend to be asleep. Scream and sit up with such force that you ‘hit your head’ on the wood plank above you. Act like you got knocked out. Repeat as desired.

Stand in a room near an open doorway. Tell your roommate that “they’re so stupid that they’d run right into a door“. When they run to hit you, slam the door in their face.

When your roommate is trying to sleep, as them stupid and pointless questions. Ex: “Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?”

Insist on searching for the remote instead of turning the TV on manually.

Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep under there with a pile of dirty clothes on the empty bed frame. If your roommate comments, mutter “Gotta save space,” twenty times while twitching violently.

Give him/her and allowance.

Whenever your roommate goes in or out of the room, scream and faint.

Nail the door and windows shut and sit in the middle of the room. When your roommate questions, look around fearfully and whisper that “they’re coming for us”.

Collect potato chips that look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, “It had to be done.”

Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that hit the bullseye.

Start itching whenever your roommate comes near you. When they inquire as to what you’re doing, explain that you’re allergic. To them.
Pretend you don’t understand what your roommate’s saying, no matter how much they yell and how slowly they say it.

But a plant. Talk to it. When your roommate gives you a strange look, act offended and leave. Refuse to talk to them for several hours.

Put up fliers for your ‘missing’ roommate all over the building. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.

When your roommate turns off the light at night to go to sleep, turn it back on. When they turn the light off again, turn it back on. Repeat until you ‘start something’.

LMFAO

LMFAO, that is great, I loved it!!!!

LMAO ive seen this before but its too funny.... i did the one with the rice Krispies at a summer camp ... ROFL

lmfao thats well class........ if only i had a room mate ^.^

i havent got a room mate, sadly, but when i do, i'll be sure to try these out, there hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

that's so funny

these things will be done in college

Insist on searching for the remote instead of turning the TV on manually.

^ I do that all the time :$

Heh heh

Ahhh man, reading that list...I was torn between fear and laughter. Haha, how creepy. I love it.

ROFL!! omg that was the funniest thing ever!!
XD can't wait to get a roommate

DUDE!!! i am SO trying these next time my sister decides to sleep in my room... AND to my friends when we live together!!!!

Break a window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that you were hot. Open and close the window as you normally would.

^^^
I don't recommend doing that... That could cause some problems.

Buy a copy of Helter Skelter or Silence of the Lambs or any equally gruesomely titled book. Sit in the room with your roommate and read the book (or pretend to) with a highlighter mumbling, “That looks good…” as you highlight passages in the book.

^^^
LOL! Absolutely hilarious..I'm going to do that...

Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you’re doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, “Soon, soon…”

^^^
Lol. Very nice.

Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. When your roommate questions you, refuse to discuss the situation.
^^^
So original! I love it. It's hilarious!

Every time you enter a room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, “It’s not funny anymore.”

^^^
Funny...But, that could be very painful...

Insist your roommate write a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, say excitedly, “Oooh, are you dying?”

^^^
LOL. I love it!

Go for joy-rides in the washing machine.
^^^
I'm not sure you would fit...

Talk to your “Rice Krispies.” All of the sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, “No. I want to watch them suffer.”
^^^
Very funny, but by this time the roomate is bound to leave...

Nail the door and windows shut and sit in the middle of the room. When your roommate questions, look around fearfully and whisper that “they’re coming for us”.
^^^

I don't know.. I just love it. It seems like something I would do..

I'm pretty sure that I feel sorry for the poor roomate. They would certainly leave if all things (sensible) were preformed...Man this made my night;; thank you.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

this really and truly made my day. i was reading it to my friend over the phone and she was already in a really good mood and really really hyper so this just made us laugh even more. thank you.

no problem ^^

wow some of those things i do rite now. jk lol. thats funny it made me laugh.

ah ha ha ha ha... i luv it!!! its like totally wicked!!..lol
******************************************
Collect potato chips that look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, “It had to be done.”
******************************************
Buy a copy of Helter Skelter or Silence of the Lambs or any equally gruesomely titled book. Sit in the room with your roommate and read the book (or pretend to) with a highlighter mumbling, “That looks good…” as you highlight passages in the book.
******************************************Buy a gun. Polish it every day. One day, put a Band-Aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
******************************************
Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If they say no, drop the watermelon out a window. Make it look like suicide. Give your roommate dirty looks during the funeral.
******************************************
Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you’re doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, “Soon, soon…”
******************************************
Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. When your roommate questions you, refuse to discuss the situation.
******************************************
Every time you enter a room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, “It’s not funny anymore.”
******************************************
Hang stuffed animals with nooses from the ceiling. Whenever you walk by them, whisper “You shouldn’t have done that to me.”
******************************************
When your roommate walks by when you’re watching TV, point a finger at them while keeping your eyes the screen. Stay like that until they leave.
******************************************
Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, “Psst! Is it gone?”
******************************************
Talk to your “Rice Krispies.” All of the sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, “No. I want to watch them suffer.”
******************************************
While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, lay on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
******************************************
Stand in a room near an open doorway. Tell your roommate that “they’re so stupid that they’d run right into a door“. When they run to hit you, slam the door in their face.
******************************************
Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep under there with a pile of dirty clothes on the empty bed frame. If your roommate comments, mutter “Gotta save space,” twenty times while twitching violently.
******************************************
Nail the door and windows shut and sit in the middle of the room. When your roommate questions, look around fearfully and whisper that “they’re coming for us”.
******************************************
Collect potato chips that look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, “It had to be done.”
******************************************
Start itching whenever your roommate comes near you. When they inquire as to what you’re doing, explain that you’re allergic. To them.
Pretend you don’t understand what your roommate’s saying, no matter how much they yell and how slowly they say it.
******************************************

those were my favorite ones... some of them i actually ha ve done to ppl b4.. it was hilarious

if i did tht i would be put into a mental istitute or summin

I personally can't wait 'till collage! ^^ hehe

Someone has a lot of time on their hands...