I cheated on my boyfriend but i was under the influence

I know this doesnt give me the right but right about now everything is falling and falling fast i wish i could have stopped myself or had self control but i dont and im always so defensive when people try to help laltly but i really dont want to lose him so please someone give me some advice i dont think i can handke much longer

There really is nothing you can do, it is up to him to forgive you. You seem to be genuinely sorry, so all you can do now is wait for him. As long as you don't become under the influence to the point where you can't make rational decisions, then I'm sure it won't happen again. Did you make sure he knows this. But then again, how does he know you won't get that drunk again? I'm sure you probably won't, so that may be one thing you can tell him, but its up to him o believe you.