My life of crying.

I have been told I cry too much because when I was a little kid from day of birth to 4 years old I was molested and abused by my father. But now I still have that little girl hiding inside of me and scared out of her wits and still angry. But how could that be cause I was adopted when I was 7 years old so I'm with a better and safer family so how could I be still upset about that?
But yet I still act like I'm 4 and kinda am afraid of men and afraid of dating guys I don't know. So that may be a sign that my counseler was right but I don't even remember being molested so Its kinda hard to believe. Well I guess I'm spilling out a little too much of my life out. I just wanna know If anyone else has been adoppted or been through these kind of troubles too to know that I am not alone. And this time it's really me writing this not that stupid girl. I got things settled with that. Well take it away with your stories. Thanx.

@}----}----

ansie pansie

I'm so sorry that that happened to you :( *hugs*
it's not a stupid little girl inside you, it's the horrors of a past that you haven't dealt with yet.

after an experience that traumatic, there's no wonder you don't trust guys and you cry a lot. yes, you're with a better family now, but there's still those years that you were with your biological father, and they're still affecting you

if you don't deal with something this big in your past, it will continue to show up until you do. i'm not saying it's easy to deal with it, but its something that's got to be done - 'facing your demons' if you like.

I don't date guys, at all. not because i don't want to, i do, i'd love to have a boyfriend, but i just dont trust guys anymore. i get flashbacks to hwen i was raped, and well yeah. what you went through was much worse, so i guess the effects of what you went through are worse too.

surround yourself with happy things and people, and try to enjoy things, and you'll find that there's less to cry about. but when you do cry, make sure you cry properly, and let it all out. crying is a great vent of emotions, and it helps stop people from things like cutting. Also, keep seeing your counsellor, even if you don't feel like you're getting anywhere, because therapy can take a long time. of if you dont like yours, switch, but stay with a counsellor. it will help.

and finally, make sure you talk about how you're feeling to friends and/or family. talking is another good way of dealing with issues, coz it lets them out rather than keep them bottles up and buried on the inside.

there's probably more advice i can give you but i'm really tired and i cant think of any at the moment, so i'll let you know when im more awake!

xxx

well here, ill spill along with you to show you you arent alone.

when i was in 5th grade a guy i had grown up my whole life raped me.he was someone that i trusted and thought would never hurt me but he did.im in the 10th grade now and i still cry about it, im afraid of alot of men, but i promised myself i wouldnt let it show.i have a couple people i talk to about it when i need to.they dont even have to talk, sometimes i just need to vent and they let me.
about you not really remembering it, your...concience*sp* mind may not remember it, but your subconcience does.it will always be there for you just like it is for me.i dont want to say its a part of you, but really it is, you just cant let it control you.

see i went about handeling it in the wrong way, i cut, i hung out with gangs, i started doing alot of things cuz i was numb to it for awhile and when i wasnt, i wanted to be so id vut to focus on that pain or id drink so id be completely lost as to what happend for that whole day.i bottled things up until i dated my now exboyfriend... he told me that it happens to alot of people, usually by a parent or someone you know and trust.

i saw my attacker every time i went to my dads house cuz i had to walk there from my grandparents and hed sit there and stare at me.during halloween he tried to come up to me when i had 11 kids with me and 5 adults as all the kids followed me.all you have to do is redirect your fear, i thought of the kids, cuz i was only a kid when he did what he did to me, so i got mad for the kids and i wasnt going to let anything happen to them.

so what im trying to say here is, youre not alone, its not your fault, its okay to cry.it means your not numb like i was...
if you every need to talk, email me and ill do anything i can to help.
that_freaky_chic@yahoo.com

I havent been abused or anything like that but..

I am adopted, I was adopted when I was only 4 months old. I was taking from my real family because my real dad had been accused of beating his children with his previous wife.

I still think about this, i don't remember anything because of being so young, but i do cry alot, and have had a tough life but i've come through strong.
xxxxx

I made a mistake on the top I didn't mean I was dating guys I don't know I meant I'm afraid of dating Guys I don't know.

Yeah I think we all understood what you meant

Was any of the advice helpful?

What...wait...ive just realise the two names are different

do you have two names?

wow, thats kind of confussing...i wouldnt of even noticed if you^^ hadnt pointed it out...dont make me think, i have a headache.lol

I just changed my name along with my password! sorry for the confusion! ;b

@}---}---

And of course the advice is helpful. it was good to read and know somebody cares.

@}---}---

*woops*

@}---}---

I've had something simular happen to me. So your not alone. I've cried mostly my entire life too so don't worry. Sometimes people need to cry more then others so don't listen when they say you cry to much. Just reply maybe I need to cry more then you do.

Worked for me.

Hope you get better Ansie.

this site is good for making you feel better and to realize you arent alone so if you ever need to vent im sure someone here will listen.never be afraid to cry, it shows that you arent some heartless robot thing.

.