planning my own death

i dont know whats going on lately, but its just like everything is building up and its WAY too much for me to handle and i was laying down last night thinking of all the ways i could kill myself...i didnt think i really wanted to die, i thought i was past that part of my life.help PLEASE

When I get times like this, I look at the worst case scenarios... When what You try to do doesn't kill You but leaves You in an even worse situation than You are already in... Like for instance...
Jumping off a tall building/bridge only to leave yourself paralized from the neck down so You can not do anything anymore...
Taking an overdose and suffering from really painful liver problems...
Cutting your wrists, but cutting through the tendons so you no longer have feeling in your fingers...
Hanging yourself wrongly and ending up paralised...

I know this may not help, but other than thinking of my kids/friends/family and the issues they would have to face if I was to kill myself, thinking of the worst thing that could happen other than it actually killing You tends to put me off these days.

I hope You feel better soon and can find away to rid yourself of these thoughts.

my first concern is that you have actually thought of all the available ways of committing suicide. this is something to be taken seriously. however, you are not alone, i too have been in your shoes, and i at this moment seem to be slipping into a funk that i get get out of as well.

i have been dealing with this for some years now, and what i have done to try and keep a handle on the situation is start to take control of the controlables. I make a list of everything that has to be done in order of importance and deadlines. and i begin to check things off, while adding to the list as well because we all know that our work never seems to be done. this will seem really overwhelming, however after a while you get the hang of it and tend to look at individual goals rather than the whole list all at once.

one by one you complete things and you become in control of your duties. they no longer control you and make you feel like you cant handle them. secondly i want you to create another list of things that you like to do and things that make you feel good. each day complete once of these things... be it getting an ice cream cone, massage, or going for a walk. whatever you like or desire. that way you treat yourself to something each day that requires you to get away from the overwhelming responsibilities of this fast paced world we live in.

now if you are having issues with friends or family, then write out your frustrations, keep a journal. i have many, and they fill up faster than you think. this will be something personal that no one has access to but you. you can write anything you want! this is a great place to say the things you would never be able to say outloud. and whats even better is the fact that once you write something down like that, your mind thinks that you have said it, often giving you the release feeling of having said something. that way you dont feel it bottle up inside.

honestly, creating your own death is not the answer, though it may seem like it now. finally i want you to create one last list of all the people you would be cheating if you did commit suicide. first of all you cheat yourself, but you also cheat your parents, family, friends, relatives, teachers, neighbors, co-workers, members of your church, etc. even people in your life you have not met yet, you will have an impact. you dont win if you cheat yourself. i hope i helped in some way. please feel free to write back with questions, i am always willing to listen.

this guy who promised me that hed always be there for me since he went thru the same stuff told me~
next time you go to cut yourself, imagine your grabbing joshs*my boyfriend at the time* arm and your cutting him.
at the time that worked cuz id never wana do anything to hurt him.i thought wed never split and i cared for him so much, but now it seems like everyones gone and i have no one there to support me anymore. and mow its just getting to be too much to handle!

depression is temproary suicide is permanent.
I've believethat very strongly.

I also beleive that that there is no one on thsi earth that is not cared for one bit. Believe that you can get past this nad you will. If you tell yourself that yo ucan't handle this then you can't. If you tell yourself that you can, that you can. I know that sound kinda like that Little Train that Could. But haha, it really works. Motivation really gets peeople extrememly fair. I'm speaking from expeirence. Just because you had a scary nite, that felt like the past, doesn't mean your there again. Look at the past as an enemy. And stay strong, and happy, so you can proove to that enemy, that you not going ot succumb to it's bullying. You're gonna proove that your gonna ok, and your gonna be everything you've always wanted to be.

Good Luck... It will be ok.. i promise

it'll never get further than planning.. you can plan, but you won't feel that pain at that moment, because it's just your imagination.. make sure you don't get to the point of experimenting..

cutting hurts.. in the beginning. it hurts so much, you know.. especially if your skin is fresh.. virgin.. but you find it addicting.. and soon, you don't even feel the pain.. you feel it as pleasure.. until you start cutting deeper and deeper.. eventually you'll hit an artery or vein... that's bad.. real bad. where that's going, i really don't know.. but still, don't try it. i'm stuck at that point right now, and i'm trying to stop.

other modes of suicide probably hurt too... if you don't want to hurt yourself, then do something to try and forget your problems..

"It will rain........the sun will shine"

Normally I'd tell you that you were foolish...but today you need to hear something different. There will be troubles...there will be pot holes in this road of life but you have to over come these obstacles. Take back control of your life and find something to smile about. Focus your energy as something postive and release they negativity!

ok.... i have been through the whole suicidal thing several times before. the first time i got it was in the early stages of my depression. i got over it. not too long ago....about 3 months.... i got a kinda relapse of it. i managed to get through it again. but the thing is the first time i got through it... i thought it was over. i will take along time for the suicide thing to full on leave ur system. but that's life for u. just hold on ok.

its getting to the point though that im scaring people all the time.i have to carry a knife on me for our stage crew cause we are constantly using blades sor everything and people know im carrying it so some people stay so far away like i have some knid of deadly disease that they can catch if they come even 10 feet from me and then some others are constantly down my throat and wont leace my side unless some one else is around.it got to the point two years ago that id pull my knife out in the middle of class and cut and no one would do anything about it...
last year was the first year people actually cared to talk to me about it instead of jumping down my throat...brian said hed always be there if i needed him cuz he used to do the same thing...he refuses to talk to me since that day and he was the main person, possibly the ONLY person who could save me when i got into one of my fits cuz i knew he really did understand and i didnt feel so alone anymore, but now that hes gone i feel more alone than ever...maybe i do wana die...theres nothing left for me here, my TRUE friends have died or past away and the people i THOUGHT were my friends stabbed me in the back and now other people are twisting the knife...i dont know anymore...

Stop thinking of yourself for one moment and take a look at the people around you. Now think how much pain would you cause if you were to take your own life? A hell of a lot I can assure you. Maybe you should think of that.

Killing yourself might seem like a good idea at the time, but seriously. Think about it. What if things were to get better? You wouldn't know would you? Because you were dead.
Cutting isn't good, either. I would know. Like somebody else said, it's addicting. & once you start, you don't really stop. Whether it's little deep slices in your wrist, or big not as deep on your thighs. Spelling out the name of your problem, or carving help into your leg, then covering them up with a sweater or pants, so nobody will ever know. In the end, it'll all be worth the wait & hope of things getting better, because trust me, they will. You just gotta tough it out a little longer. Take ONE day at a time, don't plan ahead.
I hope everything works out for you, & if you ever need somebody to talk to, you can message me.

You've successfully made me mad! Sweetie if you were going to kill yourself you would have done it by now. You don't need friends, you need a damn therapist. Not because you're contemplating suicide but because you're whack! People do not tell others of their self induced demise – they simply act it out and leave their commentary behind if they so desire for someone to know why. You’re not going to kill yourself. You probably never even thought of it. This was a really pathetic cry for attention. You need Jesus. Talk to Him, get to know Him, love Him….and pray for forgiveness!

you see this is what i'm saying you can't go around abusing people when you don't like it being done to you. as much as some people deserve it, it really is not needed.

i agree with sherry. people need to stop saying things like this. cuz i been feeling the same way, and its a feeling of wanting to commit suicide. not really committing it. depression causes this and i know how it feels. cutting allows us 2 release pain inside. it aint no cry 4 attention. im not trying to say its a good thing, we all must stop. dont let others put u down and make the best of wats left.

I also agree with Sherry...and as for your little God speech Natalie, well contrary to your beliefs, not EVERBODY believes in Him! I am one of those people!
He is a fake and a fraud!

Dear kaytlin and sherry because you don't deserve a capital on your name.
I hope it makes you feel better to try and impose on peoples beliefs like it actually matters if YOU saying God is "fake" means anything because your opinion on this surely doesn't.
To sherry and whoever else agrees that Natalie kills herself, I hope you realise you're a hypocrite by telling her that her posts make people feel alienated and empty because you telling her that Jesus and herself should kill herself is pretty much you summing yourself up in a few words.
Get over yourself, you're no better than anybody. If you're actually that sad you have nothing to believe in, then you really must be a dull person.
I agree with her, they wouldn't be telling the world if they wanted to commit suicide. You don't deserve this life if you're going to throw it away and just because you don't believe in God it doesn't mean you INSULT somebodys religion and faith, that is the LOWEST of the low and it means you are worth shit. Everybody needs something to keep them sane and talking and imagining somebody is listening CAN help people, so respect her opinions and advice just as she may do yours.

oh and "He is fake and fraud!" ?
prove it.

there is a reason why your name is Ms. Understood and not Missunderstood.

Kill yourself and you will be remembered as an idiot in my eyes. Tough love works. I won't go cozy on such topics.

Kill yourself and you won't live to see the good that actually exists.
Be smart, live long.
Be stupid, die young.

dear "life is nothing"
It's people like you who make the world so "depressing". Maybe there is no God, but I like to have something to believe in. Things happen because if he didn't let them happen, and decided that a manmade machine running over a child was to be prevented, it'd basically sugarcoat everything and there would be no grief to appreciate happiness, no sorrow to understand what a good time is, that's what I percieve of it anyway. I'm not God, so how can I answer those questions? Oh and, since when was the world ever pure?

I never criticized the starter of this thread and the person I DID criticize certainly wasn't looking for help on the web, so basically that entire thing you said up there made no sense whatsoever but anyway.

I know full well what 'reality' is, I think it's you who's having a hard time understanding anything. Your entire first paragraph pretty much proclaims that YOU are asking me why the world isn't a "Fairytale".

What's with this new trend in saying if somebody doesn't say something you agree with they should kill themselves? God I hate your name.. "Life is nothing" I mean it's so untrue. Since when is life nothing, it's everything? I definitely think you should kill yourself for that, OUTRAGEOUS.

Shut up telling people to kill themselves, you're an idiot. If anybody should KILL themselves it's the person telling OTHER people to do it.

Life is what you make it, there will be bad and there will be good, and obviously your outtake on the whole thing is that pathetic you think it's tough. It can be easy if you're strong, it's hard if you're weak, and you my friend, are weak. Kthanks.

That has totally happened to me. I get such an emotional rush I just have to lock myself in my room and breath very slowly. Im talking for hours, concentrating on each breath. I think of my goal (going to France this summer) and make my mind completely focused. In the end Im still kicking.

[PymgyPuff]

I don't act like I have the answers, I know full well I'm not God so how would I just outright say I know everything?

And no, that's not one of my relatives lives. So, there you go.

It's not about being remembered after you're dead, it's living a happy life whilst you're here. Life is nothing? Your life to you, is EVERYTHING. Life as a whole, is EVERYTHING. Life is everything we know and ANYWAY, I'm surprised you couldn't see that my whole paragraph about your name was sarcasm. but whatever. obviously everything i'm saying is wrong.

You feel this way now, because things are building up...but if you were to wait it out a bit, that perspective would change dramatically. I have done the same thing as you are but if you keep your friends close, talk to someone about it or anything like that..it really can save you. I waited it out after someone told me to and I am in love with life now.

Just think of how much you would be missing, think of all of those that would be hurt.

Live and learn.

Don't "Live and Give Up. "

"author: Kaytlin
date: 2007.03.21 14:45

answer
I also agree with Sherry...and as for your little God speech Natalie, well contrary to your beliefs, not EVERBODY believes in Him! I am one of those people!
He is a fake and a fraud!"

WE'RE the bible beating right wing NITWITS?
even though we're NOT Bible beating and you WERE? and as for the girl who was suffering, none of this was directed at her, AND she hasn't replied, so i'm finding it hard to see how this effects her in anyway at all?

and it wasn't my intention for you to be scared, but honey, if you need a chair under your door, i'm always here to help.
xoxoxoxooxoxooooox xoxjchfnmg ♥ JUST FOR SHERRY.