lmao read these they're funny!!! =o]

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out."?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge, but not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse use the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking what time it is, but don't point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room while you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto is on all fours? They are both dogs.

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Why are Trix only for kids?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Why is a person that handles you money called a "broker?"

If corn oil is made out of corn, and vegetable oil is made out of vegetables. What is baby oil made out of?

If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to believe it?

If electicity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do Illiterate people get the full effect from Alphabet soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face he gets made at you, but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?

ROTFLMFAO!!! I love those!! lol, that's great! I like those!! ^_^

OMG! love those. heres one

If your a vegetarian, can you eat animal crackers?

lol =o]

lmao but my freezer has a light!!

Haha they're good ones!

lol... sadly i have answers to those questions. some are quite logical, while others... well, youll see...

"Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out."?"

his name was Calffy McCowton!

"Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?"

Well, most people burn the toast anyway, so they figured theyd just do it for you!

"Why is there a light in the fridge, but not in the freezer?"

who would spend hours looking in a freezer? Its cold in there!

"If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?"

he musta been really good at what he did.... kinda makes you wonder what kind of corn he was "cracking".

"Can a hearse carrying a corpse use the carpool lane?"

It depends, is the corpse in the front or back seat?

"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?"

cuz then the season would end. Ah, it was inevitable.

"Why do people point to their wrist when asking what time it is, but don't point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is?"

Thats just embarassing.

"Why does your OB-GYN leave the room while you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?"

Privacy with your privates before they are privately invaded.

"Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto is on all fours? They are both dogs."

duh... Goofy actually HAS lines!

"What do you call male ballerinas?"

ballers.

"Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?"

lets ask a blind person that one!

"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

... I'll let you figure that one out....

"Why are Trix only for kids?"

Because an adults tastebuds know that those are flippin nasty and no respectable rabbit would be caught with a bowl of those wanna-be froot loops!

"If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?"

He has no real sense of logic... sadly.

"Why is a person that handles you money called a "broker"?"

what do you think they get paid?

"If corn oil is made out of corn, and vegetable oil is made out of vegetables. What is baby oil made out of?"

... my great uncle sally. yes, uncle sally.

"If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?"

yes. always.

"Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to believe it?"

guess humans really havent evolved that much after all...

"If electicity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"

no... it comes from Einstein.

"Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?"

only if Minnies operating!

"Do Illiterate people get the full effect from Alphabet soup?"

no, they just think it tastes yummy.

"Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face he gets made at you, but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?"

Thats cuz YOUR BREATH SMELLS. its kickin' like bruce lee! brush your teeth once in a while!

tada! Allanah has done it again.

and those ?s are flippin hilarious!

hahaha!!! omg, these r hilarious!!!!

lmfao i liked them =]

haha gave me a laugh!
♥Ciao

lmfao!!! i almost crapped my pants lmao...

this was my fave

"Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dogs face he gets made at you, but when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head out the window?"

Thats cuz YOUR BREATH SMELLS. its kickin' like bruce lee! brush your teeth once in a while!