i'm so lost

i just don't get things anymore, like, i don't understand why i'm so sad all the time, but it's especially around my home, when i just sit and think, and then i get even worse, and i mean, when i tried to tell my mom (my dad left for the military)and she just laughed and walked away, not listening when i tried to tell her i'm not kidding, and i wish i was a little kid again, just not caring about anything, and not even thinking about suicide. i just don't know what to do!
* gabriella

Sadness and depression are complex emotions that are hard to deal with. But they will pass with time, wisping away and will leave you feeling happy again. Everyday, there has to be some point at which a smile graces you face. Look for those moments, and revel in them no matter their cause. But before the emotions will ever honestly go away, you have to introspect. Look into your self and figure out what is causing the problem in the first place. Doubt, saddness, depression, anger, tears... etc. Are all symptoms of a cause that runs deeper in your heart and soul.

Suicide, on the other hand is forever. It will not pass... it will not lessen, and all it does is increase suffering. Not for you, of course but for all those around you. For you friends, your family, and loved ones all it does is increase suffering and that is hardly fair to them. But nor is suicide fair to yourself. Taking your life when you still have years of joy and liveliness is a crime and is foolish. I understand the feelings that can spring such thoughts, and I have battled with my own demons in this area. Trust me, when I say that it is not worth it to do anything drastic. These feelings will pass, and leave you with a smile on your face once more.

Through your confusion and pain, may you find strength and may your feet never leave the path you were meant to walk. Whatever that may be. Strength and courage can come from all sorts of places, and have a knack for turning up where you don't expect them. Best wishes, and blessed be.

-Athame

Thinking too much is aslo the problem. You have to find things to do to keep your mind off things like that. It's hard, but it helps (if only a little)...