Blonde joke time!!

Tell your best blonde joke!! Sorry for you blondes not to be offensive!!
Mine is:
A blonde woman was at the doctors waiting for her check-up and decided to read a "TIME" magazine and on the front cover it read:
"Brazillion troops killed in war!"
She looked up at the man sitting next to her and asked:
"How many is a Brazillion?"

lol

ok here is one:

A blonde goes to the doctor for a checkup and says" Doctor I've broken every bone in my body!"

And he says" Why that is impossible?"

And she replies, " It's true. I have broken every bone in my body, see."

She takes her right finger and touches her shoulder and screams, then she takes the same finger and touches her boob and lets out a louder scream, then she takes same finger and touches her head and now there is a tear running down her face as she tries to hold in yet another scream.

The Doctor says," lets do some x-rays."

then he comes back with the x-rays and says" i've got good news and bad news. the good news is not every bone in your body is broken, the bad news is that you broke your finger."

hmmm

oooo blonde jokes

how do you know a blonde was using a computer

Theres whiteout all over the screen

thats a good one!

okay, here's a long one, for those of you out there who underestimate blondes.

a blonde was sitting next to a lawyer on a plane. the blonde was just trying to sleep, and the lawyer, in an attempt to get some easy money out of the blonde, told her that he would ask her a question and if she didnt know the answer, then she would pay him a dollar, and if he didnt know the answer, then he would pay her $500. so he asks her the first question: ?? i dont remember what it was?? she didnt know the answer so she paid him a buck. then he asked her another one. she didnt kno the answer so she paid him a dollar. then he asked her a third question, and she paid him yet another dollar, then she asked him the same question, and...amazing! he didnt know what the answer was either. the blonde held out her hand for the $500, and went back to sleep.

haha I love these. I have one thats like the persons above me, but a bit different.

There was a blonde and a scolar on a plane. Seeing her as not very bright, he pestered her to play a game with him. Finally she agreed. He told her that for every question of his she couldnt answer, she'd give him a dollar, for every question of hers he couldn't answer, he would give her 50 dollars. So he askes her a first question. She gets it wrong and gives him a dollar. He asks her another, she gets this one wrong too. This goes on for a few more questions till she finally declares that its her turn to ask one. Her question was "What has 3 legs, no hair, and one eye?" The scolar thought and thought, then searche his computer and try as he might he couldn't find an answer. Finally he gives up and hands her the 50 dollars. She takes the money and goes back to sitting quietly. Flustered, he askes her what the answer to the question was. Without a word she hands him a dollar.

nice...i believe thats the one i heard, but with a twist

A Blonde, Brunette, and a Red Head decide to have a contest, to see who could do the Breast Stroke from one side of the lake to the other fastest. After 2 days, the Brunette comes back and waits for the others. The next day, the Red Head came back. After 2 weeks, the Blonde finally came back. A news reporter is questioning the others and comes over to the Blonde. "What took you so long?" Panting, she answers "Those two cheated.....they used there arms!"

a blond womam walks into a litle store and says "i would like to buy that microwave" and the caisher said "no you cant" she said but why and he said because your blond" so she walked out of the shopp and came in with a wig on. she walked over and said "i would like to buy that microwave" and he said "no you cant" and she said "why not?" and he said cuz your a blond so leaves and for the 3 time walks in with abother wig on and says "id like to buy that microwave" and the guy says "no you cant" so she said "why cant i buy it!!??!!" and he said because thats not a microwave, its a t.v.

lmfao

I have a personal one...Last year we had a foreign exchange student from Australia and on her last day we were all saying Bye and she was like oh I have a myspace and genious me says," OMG!! They have myspace in Australia?!" Then in unison all of my friends said, "WORLD WIDE WEB GEN!!"I still get remided of that everyday!! I will ever live that down!

a blonde walks into an elevator. there is another man in the elevator, and the blonde turns to him and says "T-G-I-F" the guy turns to her and says "S-H-I-T" the blonde frowns and says "T-G-I-F" the guy shakes his head and says "S-H-I-T" now the blonde is getting frustrated. she throws her hands in the air and says "Thank God It's Friday!" the guy looks at her and says "Sorry Honey, It's Thursday."

I was needing some new tires for my truck,so me and my wife go to the tire dealer.I was talking to the attendant about the very poor condition of the tires. He says "Mister you sure do need tires,the steel ply is showing". I say "Yeah" jokingly, "You can see the air in them" We both laughed. My wife,after the attendant walks off nudges me, looking down at the tire says "Where Honey I can't see it"
True story,true blonde,
Truly Priceless

So, this blonde was driving down the road listening to the news on the radio. She hears this story about a blonde woman that is out in the middle of a cornfield trying to swim. The newspeople are talking about how stupid she is that she thinks she's in water, not a cornfield. Then the blonde woman in the car sees the blonde they're talking about on the radio, trying to swim.

She gets out of her car and walks over the the edge of the cornfield. She yells, "You are giving all blondes a bad reputation! Now everyone thinks blondes are stupid! If I could SWIM, I would come out there and get you myself!!!"

Here's another one........
What do you call a blonde skeleton in a closet?

the winner of hide-and-go-seek.....

lmfao

okay there is a blonde, a brunette, and a red head in the club. The bruette and the red head orders 2 Jack Daniels. They look at the blonde, who is laughing histarically. So when the waitress leaves, they ask her why she is laughing, she wipes her tears and says, well if you wanted a man that bad, you should have asked me. You guys will get a man with different names, because that would just be weird. Besides, I didn't know you guys were that desperate!

ok sitting in history one day
hailey all of a sudden goes sir were you alive when the world was black and white

I used to know alot,but i forgot =(