Tribute to the nice girls.

This is my tribute to the nice girls, it was requested that I write one for the nice girls, in my other thread that was called, "tribute to the nice guys." So here it is...

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and F up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

Sometimes the nice girls just get sick of waiting.

This was a really beautiful tribute... It actually brought tears to my eyes.

*raises my glass* Here's to us women :]

Joe.. this is amazing.. i am completely speechless.. wow.. man awesome

This is an great tribute. It's the truth. I loved it.

Aww. Thanks so much loll even though its not exactly for me lol. Brought tears to my eyes!

I was reading through this and was apalled by how much of this I found myself relating to . Thank you (: It brought a draining of my tear ducts .
..__MiNDYY

I accidently reposted twice -.-''

aww this is such a great tribute! i loved it and i also found it quite weird how i could relate to it so much...this was beautiful and true! thanks for putting ur tym into this!!
Luv FallenxFromxGrace

i loved this. simply amazing. its definitely the truth!!!

I agree with everyone, this is an amazing post, I read the tribute to the nice guys and felt it was true, yet this one really seems to have described.. everything just the way it is... I how guys can read this and some how realise something!

It did bring tears to my eyes,

LF
XxX

Omg... that was just... amazing(for lack of a better word). I found myself crying as I read it, because I can relate to most things in that post... thank you. Your other tribute was beautiful as well. But, well this one just made me cry... It is so beautiful. A job well done!! Wow.. I am just speechless!! Thank you for that, really, it means a lot!

Much Love,
~*Danielle*~

omg...I completely agree with you danielle. I am sitting here crying because everything in this is true. And almost every girl can relate in this post. *crys* It was beautiful...absolutely beautiful!

Mucho Love,
~*Katie*~

Thank you all for reading and replying to this as well as the other thread I made for the nice guys.

Peace and Love, Joe

Thank you.

this describes me almost perfectly, and (with your permission) i'd like to send it to many of my girlfriends who are the same way. can i?

Allanah

Sure, and you are welcome.

Thanks...

i copied it and posted it into an e mail, then sent it to all the "nice girls" on my list and told them to pass it on. i gave you credit for it and asked them to comment and send it back to me so i could pass the comments back on to you.

i have a feeling you will be very much appreciated.

Pretty much like everyone else said this post was/is amazing!
The whole time I was reading it I was nodding and thinking 'Yep, that's me... uh-huh'.
Definetly amazing.

Love it. ♥

that is so long but i love it anyway!! :)

Thank you all for feeling this way. I was actually surprised when I wrote this for the simple fact that I wrote more than I did on the "Tribute to the nice guys" and it is funny because I am a guy, you think I'd have more to say about us guys...lol oh well, I am glad you all like it.

Peace, Joe

WOW! Really touching! Brought tears to my eyes.

Kathleen

I just couldn't see this wonderful thing go to the bottom of the list, it deserves to be seen!!

This is so right it aint even funny it is long but so true i love it!!!!! i have been through all of this

i wrote a poem called nice girls... but i dont think im guna post it. ill read it at the poetry slam though!!!

You really just made my day, yet still bought tears to my eyes.
Breathtaking...

Joe.. you make me laugh.. do you just realize how many girls you can get .. just by being yourself. You're like honey to bees. I've got to say it was beautiful. This part is the sadest:

"This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me."

I'm off to find your nice guys. :) .. I'm putting this on my binder!

Alright, I figured since the Tribute to the Nice Guys was on the first page and is being read a lot, that I would revive this thread back to the front page so that it is not just the guys that get all the attention. :)

Peace, Joe

Beautiful tribute there Joe.

Well done.

omg. i love this. i got a little teary eyed....its really sad that i can relate to basically everything you said..yet it makes no difference to him....blah:(

*gasp* awsome!! very awsome almost made me cry *toast* to us girls!!!

Nice, but doesn't fit me.

wow... i luv u!!!!
thank you so much for writing this

wow. That was really good. That describes me completely!! That made me cry very good!

this was gorgeous
thx

Thank you Joe, for writing this. It is insane how much I related to.

:)

That was absolutely fantastic. I know exactly how you feel. Guys always say they want nice girls but they chase after the first blonde they see when the nicest girl they could ever ask for us standing right next to them waiting for them to take her heart. I have been here...its not really nice. But thank you... I really loved it...it may have made me cry but I think its absolutely amazing and there is a whole load oof truth in there so thank you.

This was beautiful Joe! Much as i hate to say it I was crying while I read it. I was thinking of my big sister (and yes myself also) and think, wow, this is so very true as is your other one about nice guys. Silly as this sounds, I can really relate to it.

Thank you Joe for writing both of them. Please keep this great insights coming.

Peace and Thanks, Rhea

...wow.

i couldnt believe how close this felt. all of these things are true in my case, its just amazing seeing it all in words.

and i really enjoyed the 'tribute to nice guys' as well.

thanks so much!

xx-Emily

wow!
this made me cry because of how close it is to my life
and i just wanted to say thanks!

--Sarah

That was absolutely fantastic. I know exactly how you feel.

^^^

You know how Joe feels about being a "nice girl?" Tell me more.