Yesterday I Lost The Thing I Most Love In The World

Her name was Chloe. She was a white, black and orange cat with the cutest face in all catty history. And she used to sit with her paws around my neck, trying to lick my ear or kiss my face.

Maybe I knew that I would lose her. That could explain why I clung so desperately to her the days I had her. She was my lifeline.

I think my neighbors killed her, while I was away on holiday. I have not shed a single tear. I haven't thrown a fit, or broken anything.
But I'm so empty.
A voice inside my head said "If she doesn't return by the end of the month, I'll kill myself." Yet I sit here calmly, as though filled with hope that she was merely injured and scared, and that the neighbors weren't lying, that they didn't kill her, just merely threw her out onto the street, and that she will return to me tomorrow, cold, hungry but otherwise quite lively.

It's scary, how I can sit here knowing that I have lost the only living thing that I truly love in this life, and not even shed a tear.

//T.L.//

WHOA. I know you're not going to let a cat make you take your life..come on now..

I know it may be very close to you, but don't let your kitty make you go to the extreme.

I have a cat myself which I love, but if she was missing I wouldn't kill myself, its not necessary.

Have you posted missing signs? Maybe you should do that...Well, I hope Chloe shows up so you can be happy again.

My prayers to you, ~Poetical Princess~

Yeah seriously, it's a cat, now I know pets can become part of the family, I had a dog, Taffy, for ten years, and last year when we put her down over Christmas, my mother and I were tremendously sad but we had to accept it and move on. It sucks, its hard, you will cry eventually, but keep on living. Nobody or no animal is worth you losing your life over.

True. Although it's difficult to remember that when in my eyes, my life is a rather worthless venture into the unknown.
Yes, I put up posters, offering a reward, and I've talked to most of the locals.

It's true that in all likelihood I will probably not kill myself, but at the same time I think that a part of me will die. It's happened before, it's the most painful thing of my life.
My sister, her husband and their child moved back to Australia, and my nephew was born there last week. I'll never have the chance to watch him grow up...
A few years ago I lost three cats in a row, and two dogs after that. I had to give away one cat, against my wishes... one of my dogs is old, sick and dying. I am losing my passion for dance, and the love of my life is possibly dead. A girl I thought was my best friend barely even talks to me anymore. Apart from that I have no friends, everyone around me is growing up, growing old and moving on. I feel as though I am stuck alone. I'm not throwing myself a pity party, merely musing that, and I know this sounds kind of arrogant, I'm handling it better than I thought I would.
I just have the sensation that any minute now I'm going to break down. Hopefully not in public..
Thanks for the support.

//T.L.//

Cats are so independant, yours has probably just found herself a nice 'tom' somewhere and having a little fun, or she is trying to make You feel guilty for leaving her when You went on holiday... My cat disappears all the time and is gone for days on end, every time she doesn't come home for a while I get scared and upset that she has been run over or eaten by a fox, but she always returns eventually... Hopefully yours will too.

Be glad you had that wonderful little fur ball in your life. Think about her...remember her...and move on sweetness! It's all you can do. You can't dwell on the loss...just embrace the time you had with her.

My cat is back!!!
I found her, and I still can't believe it. Maybe that's why I couldn't cry before, because I knew that she was still alive. Strangely, she was very close to me all this time, having hidden in a stranger's flat one floor above my own...
She's skinny and perhaps slightly traumatised, but otherwise fine.

Has anyone else noticed that sometimes when cats get a major scare (such as after running away) their eyes change color or shape? They go wider, and sometimes greener or just... different, I don't know. But they change.

//T.L.//

Yayyyyyyy I'm so happy for you :]

Can't say I've noticed anything different with my cat when she has returned, apart from she comes in and torments the dog and walks around like she owns the place.... Oh wait... nah that's normal.

lol :) i thought by lost you meant dead... but now she's back ;) that's good. love her 4ever :D

Well now that she's back, watch out for her, that she won't get out the house, or it will happen again.
Don't leave the door or window open! ~Stay happy~

Yep, cats do that. I'm glad she's back with you. I lost my kitty to an evil neighbor who got off on poisoning cats once. So I understand the suicidal tendencies. It's hard not to get attached to something that makes no demands on you.

T.L,

Glad to hear shes back!

aw im glad she came back:)

oh hun I'm glad that she came back. I lost my cat one time. He followed me when I went on a bike ride and he was gone for 2 weeks. We posted posters, called a pshyic (sp?) (he was my mom's pride and joy) we did everything. Then one guy saw him, had seen our poster in a store, went back to the store to get the number and then he called us and tried to catch him. He ran and hid in a storm drain under the street. My dad had to get him. He was three miles from our home. =] Cats come back often, so I'm glad that yours did.

Cheers!
♥Ciao

Thank you for your support.
My cat has happily recovered and settled in. She is even MORE loving than before, if that can be coherently explained, as she has always been the most adorable and lovey cat that ever existed. She greets me every time I walk in the door, and meows a goodbye when I leave.

//T.L.//

ummm...your cat would want you to be happy!!