Real Friends

Are you tired of those asinine "friendship" poems with decent intentions, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here's a collection of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on yu about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will poit and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

haha i got that one on a forward email! lol
but at the bottom it said "remember, a good friend will help you move...a best friend will help you move a body. let me know if i need to bring a shovel."

Ha hah.
That's effing hillarious.

this isn't funny. LOLZ.

but seriously. it's not.
that's not realistic either, do you ever go up to your friend who's crying, slap them on the face and tell them to get over it?
maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but maybe we should just admit as much as we wish we got a friend by being a rude arse, we actually ARE nice to our best mates.