american teenage girl with a lot to say....

okay so my name is barbara and i go to bolsa grande high school in westminster, ca. I write poetry as a way to prove to myself that what i have gone through is real and can be overcome. Certain things have hurt me more than others and i am still trying to overcome. I am 16, my birthday is in may(22), i LOVE music and writing. Um....i skateboard and i am spontaneous...i can get along with anyone who knows not only how to have fun but also when its time to stop having fun....i also have a myspace. It's myspace.com/barbara3004.

Well hello Barbara.
My name as you can see is Rhiannon Morgana but everyone around here either calls me R.M., Rhea or Morgana take your pick =)
I live outside Spokane, Washington and will be 17 on April 16. I LOVE music also. Writing and music are the two things that keep me somewhat sane (not that I'm very sane in the first place x)
I tend to live my life by the edge of my seat and I love going by how I feel at the moment, so yea, I'm spontaneous to and love being that way x)

kick ass!!!! you sound like me a lot!!! so can i ask you a question? guess i dont give you much choice do i? lol...so if you dont mind me asking di you have something serious happen to you to make you start writing poetry or did you just start writing?

Well really I started writing story's years ago to help me deal with stress, death and my family falling apart.
Then I started writing poetry not that long ago when I got my first broken heart.
It's a way for me to deal with the pain from a lot of things that I've made it through and the stress that comes with life.
As far as anyone knows nothing has happened to me like it has to you but I still am working through having problems with people touching me at all

oh so i take it you looked at my poems?!?!?! just a guess.....lol....but yeah as im sure you've guessed i8 was raped....i lived with my aunt and uncle for 7 years and the whole time i was his toy....until i was about 10 though i didn't really know better...but thanks to my writing i have been able to force myself to accept that it happened and also realize that i CAN heal...so that's what got me writing...and i am very open about it because i am healing and i can USUALLY talk about it without hurting...

I'm sorry that you had to go through something like that, but the only way that I'm able to live with the things that have happened and the things I see and can't do anything about, is to think that everything happens for a reason and that if I hadn't gone through it then I wouldn't be the person I am now or be as strong as I am.

amen to that!!! i agree 100%. cause im catholic and i figure that god makes us all as strong as we need to be and he only gives us what we can handle....certain people have a hard time understanding that and thats why the youth is so troubled....i am coming to terms with everything that has happened......after a bit of experimenting....but still.....and like my tio always says.....what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Yes I know that saying very well. I'm kind of catholic myself also and believe most of what they say but I also am sort-of alternative religion at the same time. My unofficial bf is in Kung-Fu so I add a lot of Chinese beliefs also

cool cool.....my unofficial bf is a white boy so....nothing about me is really that different from him...but i listen to pretty much anything i can relate to. what about you? what kind of music you like?

Well let me think here..... country, rock and roll, r&b, Irish and Scottish folk and dancing music, some classically at times and whatever else I feel like at the moment. Some of my fav.'s are Nickelback, Garth Brooks and Lonestar.
My unofficial is also white like me, just he's really big on learning to defend himself and believe me, I wouldn't want to be the one that really pisses him off. At least i know that I'm safe around him and luckly he's not the kind that would ever use it to hurt a woman.

yeah thats how it is with my man....he is gonna be back home from texas in 2 weeks and we will be back together.....this guy that i was interested in and was also interested in me met me at a school dance and i had on a skirt.....all i told my guy was that he had reached up my sjirt(which is only half of it) and he was immediatly at my school....and he picked me up and made it really clear to the other guy that i was his.....i felt soooo loved...and i know what you mean..my guy was trained by his dad who was a navy seal for 10 years and in the army for 5....his hands are legal weapons....lol.....but at the same time he wont hit a chick either......hey im gonna go offline soon.....do you have email or myspace?

I don't have a myspace but I do have a email and i check it all the time. My email is, sea-dweller@gotsky.com and would love to talk anytime you want. I'm a totly night owl o.O
By the way I love the poems of your's that I've read

thanks sooooo much!!!! i haven't read yours yet but i will and i will comment too!!! sorry....welll im off to bed cause i have school in the morning...but if you ever want to get a hold of me my email is imrosa3004@yahoo.com and imrosa3004@gmail.com
basically any email carrier with the same beginning......well almost any cause i never even heard of yours....

hey rhiannon are you online?

Howdy there Barbara

Are you online tonight?

If you are then I'm here ~.~

hey rhiannon are you online right now?

you know what if you come online then meet me on aim......
imrosar

Hi there again! You know this is kind of fun writing back and forth like this and it seems we always miss each other by an hour or two X) lol
Hope that your doing good.
xoxoxox Rhiannon

Yeah i like it....lol....its funny how we always miss each other.....im doing finr...and you?
xoxoxoxoxoxox<3 barbara

Hehehe I'm doing fantastic ^.^ and it is really funny how we always miss each other xD
Well I've got a great boyfriend *for the first time in my life* who loves me and isn't afraid to let everyone know that I'm his lol Try looking at Impulse's poem *he's on here* and you'll know what I'm talking about =D
My 17th birthday is Monday and...hehehe...the world couldn't be better as far as I can tell right now ^.^
Whats up in your life right now?

Hey sexy.

Nothing much...but im confuzzled!!! my ex-bf and i are still in love and shit but he lives really far away now...but thats not the confusing part....i lost a LOT of weight and i feel really good now that im healthier...but he wants me to be chubbier....so i dont know i have to choose between pleasing him and making myself happy....other than that drama though everything is pretty good! i got a solo in the choir festival and im excited about that.....happy early b-day!!!! congrats on all your stuff!

Hey craig nice to meet you too....what are you up to? what are your intersts? do you have a myspace?

Hi?

Lol Thanks Barbara =) I'm pretty happy 'bout it all to =D
You know, if your happier now and he can't see that then he's not worth your time =P You need to be happy with yourself first and for most ^.^ Remember you don't owe it to anyone to make them happy before your own happyness =)
***Rhea***

Thanx rhea!!! so what have you been up to lately? did you notice i commented some of your poems?

*smiles* your very welcome ^.^ Just remember, your perfect the way you are, never let anyone *not even yourself* make you believe anything else =)
Well....uumm..about 5'10" I'd say lol *I couldn't help that one* getting ready for the party on Sunday *which means I had to go shopping with my mom and figure out what we're feeding a whole mess of teenagers*, trying to figure out what I'm wearing to the prom *since my boyfriend asked me to go with him and I've never been to anything like this before* and getting my ears pierced for the first time ^.^ Well actually, I got two in each ear done at the same time and...OMG!OMG!OMG! They never told me that it hurt so much by the time you put 4 in one right after the other =P lol
and yes I did notice that ^.^ Thank you SO much, I love when people tell me what they really think about my writing =) I wanted to do the same for some of yours but...=P...I don't even know where I put my head most of the time lol
Hope that things work out but remember, anyone who wants you to change to fit what they want doesn't deserve someone as great as you =) Just keep telling yourself that, but whatever you choose to do will be the right thing ^.^

Hey barbara.. after reading these post.. just so u know u aint the only one.. I was raped too.. and my brother molested.. and my mother beaten. .. never wanted by my real father. .. he got out of jail early for good behavior.. Jan 13.. anyway . the last few years have been improving too .. I have a new father. he cares so much about me and my family ... and i felt like I needed to share this with you, cause I been throught the same. and ur not alone.....