why cant i make myself believe its not my fault???

my ex recently tryed to kill him self on the day we had aranged to see each other, he had takn a whole bottle of mixed pills and went to sleep, he is still alive but he told me it was my fault and that he never wanted to see me agian and he never loved me to begin with and all kinds of stuff like that, i am ok with the fact that he dont want to see me and i am ok with the fact he never loved me cause i loved him and i will never regret that, but i cant settle why he would say it was my fault and why he wouldnt explain to me why it was my fault, i am starting to really believe it is my fault, i need some help here.
nessa

i know i am just havin a really hard time getting over the fact that he blamed me, i just dont know i guess forget it all
love,
nessa

i need help

He wants someone to blame and he found it in you, it can't be that bigger deal or you would've asked him yourself, we aren't going to tell you what's going through HIS mind; it's not possible.
Be reasonable, ask the source or get over it.

i did ask! thank you! and he wont open up, so yea just to let you no i did ask him and he told me it was my fault aqnd i had to figure it out, why do you think i asked for advice??????????

Your ex has problems and needs help outside your reach to deal with them.
It comes down to the simple fact that you can't control his thoughts and actions, only those of yourself and they are the only ones you can be responsible for.
It must be difficult with him actually blaming you but he's doing this because he needs to blame someone, self analysis and accepting the blame on himself is probably a lil bit too much for him to handle emotionally right now. He needs help dealing with is problems in an affective manor and probably some assistance with his substance abuse issues too.

I know you love him Nessa, but your better off without him sorry!