Leave a joke xD

Hello all you happy people! lol ^.^
Everyone who reads this has to leave either,
1. one really great joke
2. two if their indiffient or
3. three really bad jokes
Lol *I get such a kick out of myself* lol

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass.....and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into
Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat
and chanted.........

You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you a catfish.

My sister sent this one to me and it made me LMFAO xD
You gotta love those redneck hillbilly's. Reminds me of some of my family *shacks head and feels sorry for herself* lol xD
xoxox Rhea xoxox

OMG LOL!!!!! i can't think of any really good jokes right this second...but i will leave on in a little while

HA HA HA HA I liked it!! This ones kinda long. . . but i liked it

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could.

HEHEHE LOL OMG that was good! xD I'd never heard that one before xD
*** Rhea ***

OMG!!! lolololololololol....i love that!!!! that is so funny!!!! i have never heard that one either!!!

i have heard this before but i always think that it is funny and i might leave a few more in a minute.

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat......
He says, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, "Here - try these on." She did and said, "These are too big, I can't wear them."
I replied, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," says Mike. He thinks that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, Mike takes off his pants and says to Karen, "Here try these on."
She does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me."
Mike says, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Karen takes off her pants and hands them to Mike and says, "Here you try on mine."
He does and says, "I can't get into your pants." Karen says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude, you never will."

OMG lmao That one was good! I loved it! xD
To bad guys can't get that one! lol

a guy goes to the the doctors and tells him he has a red mark on his penis, he shows the doctor and he says to go home and use soap and water and have a wank,he does and the mark dissapears.
his friend tells him he has a green mark on his and the guy tells him that he went to the doctor and the doctors told him to go home and wank. so the friend goes to the doctors and shows him, the doctor looks and says oh dear that will have to come off. the friend jumps and says "what but my friend came in and you told him to use soapy water and have a wank." the doctor replies "yes but you have gangrene, your friends was lipstick".

OMG that was bad! xD lol
How stupid can a person be? lol
Keep them coming! I'm getting such a kick out of these! LMAO xD

omg! lol....that is funny! guys can be so stupid sometimes...but i still love them! haha

OK another one because these are really thin on the ground

I like it

There was a man who really took care of his body. One day he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over except for his penis. So he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach and got completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out.
Two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking up out of the sand, she began to move it around with her cane, remarking to the other lady, ''There is no justice in this world.'' The other lady asked what she meant.

"Well, when I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot all about it. Now I'm 80 and the damn things are growing wild and I'm too old to squat!"

A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning.
He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by the
next Monday. "Downsizing."

He's really upset. Everyone in his department does a good job and it
doesn't seem fair. So for the next 2 days he racks his brain trying to
figure out who to fire. On Tuesday afternoon he sees Jack and Jill
standing at the water cooler. He says to himself, "Okay it's going to be
one of them."

He spends the next few days scrutinizing what each of them does.
Everything is equal. Productivity. Time off. Reports. Everything. He's
in a quandary. It's Friday afternoon and he knows his going to have to
think about this all weekend. Everyone has left the office except Jack and
Jill, who are getting ready to leave. She comes over to say goodbye.

"Have a good weekend boss. Hey you don't look so good. Is everything
okay?"
He looks at her and says "To be honest, I'm having a tough time here. I
can't decide if I should lay you or Jack off."

And she looks at him and says "Well I have to catch a bus, so i suggest
you jack off.

hahaha...bith of those are funny. i especially love the one about the penis...hehe

LOL OMG those were funny! xD
The first one was just SO bad *Tries to cover my smile so they don't know how much I like that one* lol
and the second on was great! xD
So far I've never heard any of theses! LOL
Keep them coming please! Whenever I'm not doing that good and need to see the brighter side of life all of these really help! ^.^ Thanks =)
***Rhea***

HAHAHAHA!!! i like that last one! wait, i like all of them... heck yes!!

iight here's another one...

This girl goes to the doctors for a physical. The doc is going to check her breathing so he puts the stethoscope on her chest, "Big breaths." and she goes. " Yeth, and I'm not even thixteen yet."

LMAO! I liked this one too lisp!

OMG LOL Must have been a blonde xD lol
*Hides in case any of you are blondes* lol
That one was great =)

ok, heres one:

Dude and Chick are a happily married couple. Dude goes out to a bar one night, and while he is gone, a friend of dude's comes by.
"hey, is dude around?"
"nope, hes at a bar"
The friend gets a strange look on his face, and says
"hey, you know, I really like you. I will you give you 1000 dollars if you sleep with me."
Chick contemplates this. She could really use the money, but she doesn't want to betray her husband. She decides to do it.
After they're done, the friend leaves, and Dude comes back.
He asks his wife:
"did my friend stop by? He owes me 1000 dollars"

OMG That one was bed! xD
Talk about a friend! =P lol

OMG That one was bad! xD LOLOLOL
Talk about a friend! =P lol
I have no ideal why it posted this twice =P lol

WOW O.O Did everyone leave me here? lol I made this post and I can't even think of anything right now =P lol
No wait....I've got one in me head but it's gross *one from my dad* and it would really make this topic lose a lot of it's good taste lol