Need help on a bad relationship

I have been dating an older guy for about 9 months and I love him with all my heart. In my relationship I have noticed things that are not good. The way he acts towards me is not right, its unhealthy and abusive (not physically though). My problem is that although I know I am better off without him, however I seem to be lost without him. I have broken it off with him before, but i always seem to go back. I seem to be trapped by my love for him, and I know thats not right. Its easy for people who have never been in my situation to say "If your so unhappy why don't you just leave" however people who have been in my situation understand my problem, and I am looking for there advice.

I haven't been in a situation like this before, but I understand how your feeling. However, you know it's a abusive realtionship. Try getting some help from family and friends about letting go. They will help you. Talk to some one you trust and who will give you an honest answer. Hope this helped.
Much Love,
.:Danielle:.

Hi Lyla

Try to find out what's glueing you to him. Your biggest achievement would be to face your fears, address insecurities that he's satifying and only then you can break free from this prison you created.

Not an easy task. But you'll know what I'm talking about. Thinking of you..

Luv.

Iola

I know whats glueing me to him. Its him making me feel wanted, feel loved. I dont really have any close friends or family so hes all I have.

Anybody at all besides him that you trust??

.:Danielle:.

No. And theres nobody else that Im closed to. I just feel to stupid when I am unhappy in my relationship, I know he is not good for me and yet i can seem to find the strength to leave him.

I'm sure if you look deep enough inside you, you have the strength to do anything.

Idk then, maybe try talking to a councelour (sp??)

.:Danielle:.

For me it's the fact that he was familiar. We had dated and recently (I still talk to him) I thought I had feelings for him again but then he sstartd acting like a jerk said he know how I felt/would feel.

Don't wait around because it can/could get worse off than whatever is going on.

Speak to a friend you trust and if you don't trust someone you need to start before he steals all the trust out of you.

I know exactly what you're talking about..
I dated this guy on and off for a few years...
He was a complete jerk...lying to me, cheating on me, making me feel like everything was my fault.. but i loved him so i kept coming back to him no matter what he did...i ended it a few times when i caught him doing something wrong but i still went back to him.. even when i didn't catch him doing anything wrong i knew when he would..i just tried to ignore it..i loved him...and i guess i thought if i stuck around maybe he would change and love me..he told me he loved me...but now that it's over again i know that of course he didn't...this time it's different though...when we were together one time he left me for a girl who would have sex with him because i wouldn't...when he got tired of her he came back to me and me being an idiot..forgave him and took him back. He then pressured me about having sex..i didn't want him to leave me again so i did..thinking that this time he wouldn't leave..we were together for the longest time the last time because i was having sex with him ..but eventually he still left..he always does..but i kept talking to him..we were still "friends" he said he wanted to think about if he wanted to be with me or not..but i found out while he was "thinking" he was out having sex with one of my old friends...so i got angry for the first time..something clicked..i yelled at him..i told him how i felt..how bad he had hurt me..how i was tired of it..he hung up on me..but i was still mad so i called and left the rest of what i was feeling on his answering machine..i let it all out..and after that we stopped talking completely..it hurt like hell..still does sometimes when i see him..but we don't talk.. i think i'm finally moving on..
There really is nothing you can do if you love him..you can't choose who you love..and a lot of people are gonna tell you to just leave but i know that you can't...you just have to wait for that little something to click in your head..eventually you won't want to be with him anymore...Try getting angry..try finding things to keep your mind off of him...try cutting him off completely...
eventually it'll work out..at least i hope...i still haven't exactly found out yet...

You want to go on believing that he will change but deep down you know he won't...yet you still can't let go...You know what the greatest accomplishment in a girls life is? the thing most girls dream about all the time? Turning a "bad boy" good..All girls want to have that one guy who changes for them..the one guy that could never fall in love..fall in love with them...sometimes it happens...most of the time it doesn't...
Love Sucks..End of Story...