How

I read through this forum often and I've seen a lot of posts about depression, self-harm, suicide and such. There's a lot of people who are so lost in their pain that they don't know what to do.
Let me just say now that I'm not accusing anyone because I can totally relate. But I just find that we have the nerve to blame society for our issues and yet when people try and help with medications and hospitalization or whatever they think works, we resist and rebel against it which accomplishes nothing.
So my question is- if we resist the help we're getting, who can we blame when we hit the bottem?
People are trying to do what they think will help- if you don't think it's working, what do you want them to do??

Amen!.. thank you very much for that post. I agree with you 100%..

The people to blame, is ourselves. It's the obvious answers. We are the ones in control of our lives, and we make all the decisions. We can listen to all the advice, seek all the help, get all the medication, but it's our choice on whether or not we want it to effect us. If people don't try to help themselves, then no one can really help them..

EXACTLY! Well said. I think several people here should read this.

all i can say is a lot of the 14yr old cutters are going to rebel against this. and if they don't, the world is going CRAZY.

^^ I'm waiting for that : P

Do you think it's that they don't want to feel better?

I agree 100%. We (and I included myself) always want to blame someone else, the government, other countries, laws, family, friends, blah blah blah. But nobody is ever willing to take the blame themself. Yes, there are things out of our control, but when resolve will only come when we resolve to get our asses out of our couches and do something about it. happiness is not a state of being, it's a freaking emotion. nobody is happy forever, the same way you are not depressed forever (although sometimes depression CAN be a state of being). But seriously, if you don't want to be happy, you WON'T. Nobody told me to stop hurting myself two years ago. I finally knew I had to stop. And it was hard as hell, but I got in the mindset. Now I know that really my mind is good for something other than books, I can take care of myself with it too. as lame as that may sound. :)

^^ It's not lame, it's true.

another good point, sometimes people suffering from depression or any other mental disorder blame themselves to the EXTREME, which is not healthy either. I think one needs to take responsibility for one's actions, yet not blame themself for things that they cannot control.

So basically you had one bad councillor and you completely blame the system?
I think you've got to keep trying councillors until you find one that fits your needs and personality. Just because one is bad, doesn't mean they all suck.

tell your doctor that you don't feel good when your on that medication and you can try something else.
Don't make things complicated if they're not.

"Just because one is bad doesn't mean they all suck"

Exactly. i am privliged enough to have not one but five excellent, supportive and caring counsellors who i genuanially owe a lot too.

really you can't rely on a counsellor coming up to you and fixing you completly. you need to go to the effort of finding someone you trust, someone you can relate to and someone who you know wants to help you and you need to put in a lot of effort.

we are not blaming you in a mean way. so calm down. i just think that really it is up to you to find a GOOD and supportive counsellor and then it is once again up to you to heal, improve, overcome and get better. we can only rely on people so much. most poeple come to a realisation in their life about what is important and what isn't and they begin to put things in perspective. they also realise that they can't keep living like this and feeling sorry for themselves. the sad thing is, is that their are people who avoid this realisation or simply just never come to it.

"every one blames them selves lets see how much the suicide rate has gone up"

Isn't that what everyone does anyway when they are suicidal? I would think it strange if someone killed themselves but was blaming someone else.

XpainxfilledX
Just curious.. umm so you've been going to doctors and trying to get help, they gave you pills and none of it work right?.. Now my question to you is, do these doctors and pills control your life? Do they make your decisions for you? My guess is no. In the end, the decisions you make, are based on what you have decided. Other people can influence your decision with advice and such, but in the end, everything points back to you. You have control of your life, no one else does.

That's sort of why people end up blaming themselves. Because they don't have a high self-esteem and because they give up too easily.

Wow. I am so glad that you (The person who started the board) stated this. So true.

Stephanie Lynn .+.

I dont blame anyone but myself for my life, i cant stress that enough. Its our fault and knowing that is whats bringing us down.

^^^okay not your fault, i cant relate at all. i had a perfect life but i was stupid and selfish enough to throw it all away and i know its my fault, im not kidding myself anymore.

Look there are somethings in life we bring upon ourselves and somethings that just happen, we dont know why, but you HAVE to learn the difference. Those things obviously wernt your fault, and all the thins you feel are a direct result of those things. Its not your fault, and thinking it is will only make it worse.

Darien
i understand the point you were trying to get across about people making their own decisions etc and generally that's true. but there are times when you don't even have control over your life. they can schedule you, which means you have to be in a mental health facility by law. and they can also get court orders to force you to take medication by injection. this doesn't happen often but it is so sad when it does.

now comes the question: If we only have our selves to blame, then how did we get to where we are? Did we jsut decide one morning, "You know what, I wanna be depressed. i wanna cut myself?" Personally, I don't think so. There was someone or something that encourage my feelings of anger and depression, leading me to cut. Maybe you have been lucky enough to find people who want to help, but in my "society"/community, people look down on you for being the way I am. They have this thing that they don't like people who are "unstable", but they won't try to help you get better. So, should i continue to blame myself for not being able to find people to help me? or is it infact society that is to blame for 'shoving' me out?