Ciao's Contest ((Relient K))

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    `*When I Go Down by Carrie: I enjoyed this piece. I was expecting a differnt topic and it was a pleasant suprise when I read this. The rhyme scheme was different, but it made the poem flow well. The second to last stanza held the most imagery for me. It was a well written poem.

    `*Let It All Out by Jennie: Very well written poem my dear. I enjoyed the repetition of 'Let it all out' It brought the poem closer together. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. The flow was okay and the rhyme scheme was pretty good as well.

    `*Maintain Consciousness by Britt: This was a very interesting poem hun. I wasn't expecting it. but I was shocked with images that my mind conjured up. It was well written. Even though there was no rhyme scheme, it didn't need on to convey the thoughts you were putting out. I also liked the word 'Resuscitate'. I've never seen it and I learned something new.

    `*Be My Escape by Racheal: Now, this one blew me away! I love war poems and this one was fantastically written. I liked the different perspective that you wrote it in. 'While our bodies hit the floor' - what a powerful statement! It was a very well done poem.

    `*The One I'm Waiting For by Sarah: This is a new style for me to read. I always love new styles. It was a well written poem, but your syllable count is off in a few of the lines. Still, a good idea and good use of words.

    `*This Week The Trend by Jenna: Deary I have been waiting AGES to read this one... I can say that I was not dissappointed at all. It brought tears to my eyes and my mouth is still open. I had images of every person in there; the cheerleader, the football captain. It was amazing and the ending stanza really really sumed it up perfectly. Flow was near perfect as with the rhyme scheme.

    `*More Than Useless by Startle Me: It wasn't until I hit the third stanza that I realized: this is about same sex appeal. I applaud you for writing about a difficult topic. Many people don't understand this way of life. I, for one, feel that they should be allowed to do whatever they want. This was a great choice and the flow was perfect. The rhyme scheme was great and the whole topic was amazing!

    `*When I Go Down by Jenna: Whoa. Lmao. This was another fantastic one darling. With each poem I have read of yours, your work keeps getting better and better. This one was so perfect without a rhyme to it; it made it 100x more believable. The last two lines really brought the whole thing to a close. You have yet to dissappoint me dear!

    `*Who I Am Hates Who I've Been by Gem: This was a poem that I thourghly ((I know I didn't spell that right)) enjoyed. The way you wrote this reminded me of looking at an album of pictures and comparing then to now. The last two lines are my absolute favorite! You are a great writer!

    `*When I Go Down by Sarah: I like that you used different styles in here instead of the same abcb or aabb style that most everyone ((I included)) use. The acrostic didn't seem forced at all and it flowed quite nicely.

    `*The Only Thing Better Than Beating A Dead Horse Is Betting On One by Sheena: First, I would like to congragulate you on taking, I think, the hardest title on here. You stepped up to the challenge. It was a very well written poem. I enjoy this style and you did it flawlessly. I got images from this one. Flow was great as well.

    `*Be My Escape by Startle Me: You write very well and this is no exception. There's something to this poem that I really like. The ideas in this are really great. It was just an all-around great poem.

    `*Be My Escape by Espoir*failed: You could turn this into a great song! It was written quite nicely and I enjoyed the rhyme scheme. The topic was pretty cool and the flow was great.

    `*Mmhmm by Sheena: Another style that I have never read nor done. The topic was pretty cool and it was perfect in this style. You have chosen the two hardest titles and written them beautifuly. You should be proud! :]

    ````````````````````````````

    This was an extrmemly hard contest to judge. Everyone wrote amazing pieces and I enjoyed reading them.

    Prizes:
    Everyone who entered and didn't win: 2 r/r/c
    H/M: 3 r/r/c
    3rd: 5 r/r/c
    2nd: 6 r/r/c
    1st: 7 r/r/c

    Winners:

    H/M: Let It All Out ~ Jenni and Who I Am... ~ Gem
    3rd: Be My Escape ~ Racheal
    2nd: The Only Thing Better ... ~ Sheena && More Than Useless ~ Startle Me
    1st: This Week The Trend~Jenna Dear!

    Congratulations everyone! It was very hard to judge.
    Lots Of Love,
    Ciao

  • Gem
    17 years ago

    Who I Am Hates Who I've Been please

  • Beautiful Chaos
    17 years ago

    Oh could I please reserve "When I Go Down" please :)

  • Infected with His Deadly Love
    17 years ago

    The one I'm waiting for please.

  • Beautiful Chaos
    17 years ago

    When I Go Down

    When I go down,
    I go all the way,
    Can't leave a job half done,
    I scrap the bottom,
    And crawl underneath,
    Back to where life begun.

    The muck and the mire,
    We've come to call life,
    Is nothing but our creation,
    We preach all the time,
    Of love and of peace,
    While travelling to damnation.

    Spin me your webs,
    You beautiful spiders,
    Come suck the life from my veins,
    Spill your sweet poison,
    Over my lips,
    Wrap me up in your chains.

    For when I go down,
    It wont be in fear,
    Or regret for what was not said,
    I shall singe the horizon,
    Be found in the stars,
    Resting my weary head.

  • Jenni Marie
    17 years ago

    Can I reserve Let it all out please?
    xx

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Thanks for the entries and reserves guys! =]

    Ciao~

  • HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG
    17 years ago

    Can I please reserve this week the trend?

    Thanks hun!

    =D

  • Jenni Marie
    17 years ago

    Let It All Out

    Let it all out
    That's what I've been told
    Stop hiding my feelings
    And choose to be bold.

    Let it all out
    That's what I hear each day
    Let you know what I feel
    Instead of hiding my emotions away.

    Let it all out
    Try and let my love show
    Instead of spending my time
    Just wishing for more.

    Let it all out
    Be brave-put your heart on the line
    Let him know what you're thinking
    before you run out of time.

    Let it all out
    Tell him what he means to you
    Let him finally know that
    He is someone you value.

    Let it all out
    That's all I ever hear
    Don't be shy
    Tell him you need him near.

    Finally tell him
    What these feelings are about
    So now I'm going to tell you I love you
    And finally...let it out.

    Hope that's okay!

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    All updated! =] I won't read any until the contest is completely over. =] I'm sure that they are all okay!

    Ciao~

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Oh, and another thing: please please please don't put your name in the poem, like a by line. It's easier, so that I'm not biased. =]
    Ciao~

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Thank you for the bump. Let's wait awhile yet, then you can do another one. It is opened for a month... if not, in two weeks, feel free.

    Ciao~

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    I will end this earlier if we can get all the titles done... =] Please guys.

    Ciao~

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Britt, I thought about it, and I decided you can do another one. I'll change that rule. Anyone who entered can go under another title as well. Feel free to do any that are also done. =]
    as many as you wish!
    Ciao~

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Don't worry about it!

    Ciao~

  • Infected with His Deadly Love
    17 years ago

    Sorry I forgot I reserved it.
    I'll try and get it done soon

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Np! Remember everyone, You can do more than one poem, even if the title is taken

    I'll fix the post up top.

    Ciao~

  • HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG
    17 years ago

    So we can do one even if someone else already has? Lol.

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Yes! I realized that some of the titles are a little difficult. Post away lovely people!!

    Ciao~

  • HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG
    17 years ago

    Lol do we still have to reserve them?

    'Cause Jenna sees a few more that she likes!! Lol.

    .heartchuu.

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Naw, just write them and post... reserving is kinda silly now... =]

    .heartchuuumorerrrr. lol.

    Ciao~

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    I added a new title in hopes of actually getting a little more participation... =]

    Ciao~

  • Mommy And Me
    17 years ago

    OH CIAO!!! i want to do it... and i never heard of the band before so i can write with out worrying about my poem and thier song being the same.... oh the days with out music :D

    count me in :D

  • Infected with His Deadly Love
    17 years ago

    The one I'm waiting for
    By Sarah Elliott

    In
    My dreams
    You are there
    The one for me
    The one I will love
    The one I am waiting for
    But right now you are a dream
    And I'll always keep waiting for you
    Till the day you walk into my life
    Until that day, my life is incomplete
    -------------------------------------------------

    Etheree, consists of 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables.

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Of course I'll count you in hun!
    Thanks Sarah!
    love ya guys!!

    Ciao~

  • HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG
    17 years ago

    Our little homecoming queen, standing on the scale,
    Got her finger down her throat, she won't fail;
    Parties all night, got a drug dealer on speed dial,
    Up on the dance floor, shaking it Hollywood style,
    But in the middle of the night, her broken eyes cry,
    As she raises her hands in the air and asks God why;
    Her perfect little fantasy, ripping apart at the seams,
    She's so tired of running through a shattered dream.

    Captain of the football team, he acts so tough,
    Parties all night, doesn't know when enough's enough,
    And at the big game, the girls all scream his name,
    As he smiles for himself and his egotistical fame.
    He searches through the stands for a deadbeat Dad,
    To be beside the Mother that he never quite had,
    But later tonight he'll drive his car off of the bridge,
    He's got nothing else to lose, so what's the risk?

    Leader of the honor roll board, she looks so sweet,
    Standing there smiling with the braces along her teeth,
    And she hears them all laugh as she walks on by,
    Hiding the crystal tears lining her green eyes.
    And holding the gun in her hand she shakes,
    As she frees herself from all of her mistakes,
    Her mother cries as she holds the body close,
    Cursing to herself for the life that she chose.

    Head cheerleader, with her chin held up high,
    Smiles to cover all of the anger she hides inside,
    But late at night on the edge of her bed,
    She holds a razor blade to calm her pounding head.
    Blood drips down in the middle of the night,
    As words slip through the walls from her parents fight.
    Holding her pillow close, she cries herself to sleep,
    Praying to God, her tattered soul to keep.

    And this week the trend, another teenager broken,
    Biting their tongues from words afraid to be spoken,
    And with their hearts on their sleeves, they fall
    Losing grip with reality, they lose it all;
    And in the middle of the night, if you listen real close,
    You will hear the cries from those that need help the most.
    Lives on the brink, but Darling Dear don't avail,
    Weren't you ever told life is no fairy tale?

    -Jenna Elphick
    April 14, 2007

    Haha, kinda long but I stopped myself from writing more! So be proud lol

    heartchuu.

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Thanks Jenna Dear... It's hard because it's on your featured list and I wanna read it, but I don't want to be biased... I don't read anyof them before O judge...
    Anyone esle? I added a new title... =]

    xxCiaoxx

  • HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG
    17 years ago

    Hahaa oh I know! I always have to stop myself from reading yours that are in on my contests haha. But anyways, I think I'm going to do another one, I should have it in later today or tomorrow depending which time I go to the movies today haah. =)

    heartchuu.

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Reserves : Gem, Infected
    please anyone else or I will close due to lack of interest.

    xxCiaoxx

  • Infected with His Deadly Love
    17 years ago

    I have posted my poem. Look up ^^

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Wow... o.O where was my head! lol you may post more if you like! that goes for everyone... =]

    xxCiaoxx

  • Infected with His Deadly Love
    17 years ago

    Lol.
    I will try and do another.
    I'm not promosing anything though.

  • Laurie Tran
    17 years ago

    Omg .. relient k is my fave band , this album rocked..

    everyone reserved a ton.

    i wanna try to do one.. but then my creativity side never obeys me.

  • aDORKable x3
    17 years ago

    Reserved Laurie... :) I'll check out Iconator... I should have known it was that site.

    xxCiaoxx

  • Gem
    17 years ago

    Be careful of spamming people.
    We don't want this to get locked. =)

  • Startle Me
    17 years ago

    I'll do More than Useless :]

  • Startle Me
    17 years ago

    More than Useless

    Her smiles, picture perfect
    Her looks, innocent, pure
    Intelligence with confidence
    Her mind, unclear, unsure

    It is true love this girl seeks
    Yet it is hard love she disguises
    Her life filled with twists and turns
    Her life overflows with surprises

    What to do with secret love?
    A love to harbor and conceal
    Awkward and embarrassing
    To fall to the same sex appeal

    Afraid to appear outside the closet
    For she feels her feelings hopeless
    Oh how hurtful the feeling to know
    That her love is more than useless

    Yet her smiles are still picture perfect
    Her looks are still innocent and pure
    Her proper self, she hinders
    This secret she will have to endure

  • HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG
    17 years ago

    I decided to do another one haha, When I Go Down. =)

    She stares to her pathetic reflection in the mirror,
    Letting out a sorrowful sigh; she watches
    As she wastes away to a sad plastic mess,
    And drowning from head down in your lies, she knows
    That all along this was going to be the death of her,
    But still, she put her life on the line, hoping
    That maybe just this once, she could be the one,
    The one that you'd call the best mistake you've ever made.
    But in her reflection she looks to her icy eyes,
    Full of hatred for what she has become, but she traces,
    Where your fingers used to press into her skin,
    Etching out the dimples and the laughter lines,
    Smiling - you'd press your lips softly against hers,
    Holding her close with debris of the sun burning in your eyes,
    And with her heart beating naively against your chest,
    You would look her in the eye and lie one more time,
    Whispering your sad excuses of love into her pulsing ear,
    But as a tear falls to a shattered picture frame, she laughs,
    As she looks to herself and whispers: "Honey, this time,
    When I go down, I'm taking you down with me!"
    And the nicotine shades her lungs, lacing the bitter-sweet truth,
    She sighs: "But you were the best thing that ever happened to me."

    -Jenna Elphick
    April 24, 2007

  • HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG
    17 years ago

    I'm gonna do another one..lol :D

  • Gem
    17 years ago

    Xx Who I Am Hates Who I've Been xX

    Looking at photo's of my former self
    The long straight hair and kohl eyes
    Dressed in black from head to toe
    Hair filled with different colour dyes

    Still brimming with awkward teenage curves
    The rebellious stance as clear as day
    Full of hopes and fears and dreams
    Running the race of life's relay

    Looking at the changes in the mirror
    The teenage edges have all been smoothed
    The hair is glossy, a deep brunette
    The make-up's been toned down and moved

    The girl staring back has changed so much
    All her hopes and fears have changed
    She's settled herself for an average life
    Everything's been rearranged

    Look between the mirror and photograph
    The difference between us is clearly seen
    Who I was hates who I am
    And I am hates who I've been

    *Gem*

    Copyright©GemmaStott2007