Divorce Letter

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell.. Your boss called to
tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep
after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't
touch me or any thing. Either you're cheating or you don't love me
anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and
I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your Ex-wife
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Dear Ex-wife:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to
try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I
did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing
that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me
to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked
my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on
you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on
it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote,
you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Lmao.. wow... that's hilarious!!
.:Danielle:.

Ahhh how it teaches you never to assume.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

Hah.

Hahahahaha...carla!!!!! lol

Oh sad....

Cute!!!!

Toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL. That's kinda sad. =P

Lol...hilarious

Haha. thats what she gets for jumping to conclusions. xDD

That was so funny!!!!

Lol that is hilarious!