Wisdom of Larry, the Cable Guy

Wisdom of Larry, the Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Hahaha!!! I love larry the cableguy... have you heard his christmas songs??

Darwin why are you so mean?

I love Larry the Cable Guy...

G I T 'E R D O N E!!!!!

I know! he is hilarious.

if u don't like his quotes...then don't post an answer!!!

Hehehhehe....funny!
who's larry the cable guy? =S
is he like famous or something...
i shall google him =D

What? u don't know who larry the cable guy is????

OMG!!! i thought that everyone knew who he was...

he played mator on the movie cars...he does a lot of hilarious things...yeah u should google him!!!

Ooohhhh now I know who he is, he is pretty funny!

Wow...I love it!! Hes really funny!!

Posted twice XD

Nice play on words. . .

He's ALWAYS here in Louisiana! I have yet to attend one of his apperiances. I will one day! And Bil Engvall! Another great guy!

Git R' Done

Almost anything that guy does is funny.

ROFLROFLROFL.
xDD

Omg!!!!!i love larry the cable guy!!!!!!

Those are so funny

WHOOOOOOOOO!!!

I love larry the cable guy! And his star role in Food Inspector I think it was called. Hahaha.....funny ass movie