The bigger picture

i couldnt sleep and i wnated to get soem thinggs out that really dwell on my mind.Its abou t all teh suicide posts i see written here over and over . Its so sad to give up on life for the raeson that the here an dnow is hard .. u have abuse at home .. shitty problems with boys/girls... school is a nightmare .. u hav eno friends ur all alone .. ok i know for a fact how evry last one of these things feel to go thrrough for ive been thru them aswell.But thers a bigger picture something beyond what u are living now.Alot of the ppl who post arent even at the age of 16 yet thers soo much more to life uve yet to see and experience.I know how hard it is to b beat everyday i went thru it everyday for 20 yrs i was a cunt a bitch a worthless piece of shit and woudl get hit 4 even breathing too loud it seems.Ive dated eveyr kinda scum there is liars .. cheaters.. abusres .. . Noone liked me in school nor me then cept 4 a small ahndful i know how u all feel.It doesnt stay this way tho u have the chance to give urself such hapines and hope past this kinda crap thers no nned to raech out and think death is theonly answer i dont really think most ppl even have the slightest clue the impact a suicide has.a suicde causes liek a domino effect to all aothers around you.I also have been affected by such a loss.My bro killed himself when he was 13 and its been 2 yrs now and i suffer from it every single day with every brarthe i take i still hurt as if im dying.My life will nevr b teh same the life of his school mates arent teh same the rest o fmy family still hurts and still grieves all cause it felt one hting was justtoo much on top of evrything else.All u ppl here have such amzing talent u can go soo far in life with taht talent and u can touch ppl with ur werds why give up on that why ive up on yrself.For those of u who have family prolems consisting of abuse in all its forms dont u wnat to have ur own children raise them with all teh love and atention u lacked and wanted so badly rase ur child to have evryhting theyever wnata nd need .I have a son myself now and ill nevr never ever treat him teh way my dad did and ill never act like he doenst exist liek my mother does.I see my son lasugh and play every single day and thats the kinda joy u look forward to in life.Abusive bfs rapist straight losres ya theve hurt u and taken thinsg from u u cant get back but where do u think there gonna b down teh road in life .. jail .. dead or still losers.While u experiecning teh worst can better appreciate the good ur find somone who will give there life justo have u by there side soemone who will take ur breathe awya nd make ur whole world spin when they are there.. these are the things to look 4 ward to. Scool morons wlel shit after high school chances are u wont see the ppl u hated so much newayz and if u do theres taht great chance the head chherleader is fat and the top fotball player has a gut so big tahst where he places his beer and teh light shines off his bald spot =) those are the thinsg u can look 4wrad to.Alot of u have lost a friend or family eitehr way someone u love so much to suicide so seeing how much it hurt u and how much it hurt other ppl why would u wnatto bring that pain otothers as well.Its not worth it its really not thers so many joys tolife yet to b found and appreciated a place of ur own where u do as u pls when u plas a great guy or no guy who cares a family of ur own one day a child ot love and adore and jsut life itself the sun shinng the rain faling the wind in ur face as u watch teh subset at the beach.Your life can b nehting u make it to b if u just look past the here and now and look at the bigger picture.

I apprecaite all wh have raed this and maybe it ll afect one person ..

lots of love always
olivia