Chauvinism

In response to another thread I wanted to post a debate about the chauvinism displayed.

Bob, no offense, thinks that it is the girls responsibility to use protection if they decide to engage in sexual behaviors.

I, on the other hand, feel as though it is the responsibility of both the girls and the boys.

Call me psycho if you wish, but it takes two people to form one baby. If either partner is not ready for a baby then they should both face the risk and discover a birth control method for them.

If they are concerned about a STD then it is appearant that condoms are the best choice.

I am sick of it always being the fault of the girls and the boys are off scott free. The boy happened to play a part in the "fun" as well and so therefor they should be held accountable.

Girls, stop being the victems here. Say no, however if the urge is too much for you to resist and you fail to use protection then not only step and and be accountable yourself, but also hold the fther of that child accountable as well.

With out either partner then there would be no sexual activities. Stop passing the buck and stop blaming the "girls" for an action that clearly takes two people!

--Sher

I completely agree with u.
def. not psycho. many other people would agree. at least hopefully
if not then theyre probably the ones who are.

I read the other thread and I completly agree, there is no way you can blame just the girls if some mishap occurs and they end up pregnant!
The male part in all of this is just as large and they have no right to ignore this just because they have the freedom to run away and leave when they like.
And yes I admit some girls end up being slightly naieve about contraception and trust their partner completly that his "Fail safe" ways of avoiding pregnancy (such as pulling out and whatever) - we should stick up for ourselves and if you're ready for that sort of relationship, ask someone about it! Talk to a doctor or parent or friend......

LF x

Totally! I agree 101% person with you!

"it amazes me that with all the std's out and the high rate of aids and what not that people still don't get it, it's like a crap shoot.....and I still say a women is always in control of whether or not there is going to be intercourse, except as I said before in cases of rape, that is indisputable"

Absolutely right. I always remember my friends saying "well he didn't have a condom" but so what, why didn't you? I personally do not want my girl having sex, so while I will tell her about preventing pregnancy and STD's through birth control and condoms, I will also stress abstinence and self respect. I dont want her worrying and stressing over boys through public and high school and I also dont want her out there uninformed or half informed. Sadly that is the case a lot now days. Parents dont want to put themselves out there and talk openly. You cant wait until they are 14 and already going down the wrong road, you have to have an open dialogue from a young age.

I think girls put the responsibility on the guys, but they are just as responsible. They should know what they expect, and if the guy isnt prepared she should be ready herself, and not give in to unsafe because he doesnt have one. sometimes guys try to tell the girl they dont have one just cuz they dnt wanna use one. Thats bull. =D

[PygmyPuff]

All of this pretty much is reflecting on my cousin. She's 15 and pregnant. With a 19 year old guy!! Her mom NEVER really talked her all. All she said was that if she ever does to use protection, and to talk to her mom about it. but her mom never stood up and told her daughter she can't date older guys. She's always been with older guys. I never know why. I can't stand to see her anymore, and the sad thing is we go to the same school. I can't stand to see what she LET done to herself. It's girls choice to have sex. Mainly. We have to allow another inside of us..am I right? But boys, don't get too cocky, it's all about weather or not you can tel us no, OR if you can withdraw, condom or no condom. Guys choice to get pregnant(mainly) girls choice to have sex(mainly) I'm not saying that this is the case in all situations, just in most. It's not just the girls, it's the guys too. No matter how you look at it, it goes both ways.

Simply put ... IN MY VIEWS ... It is both the responsibily of girls and boys!

It takes two to make it and it should be the responsibility of both! Boys should keep it put up themselves.

--Sher

And Bob your response to your question
your words exactly
"Actually it's not the boys fault except in cases of rape, closed legs don't provide an invitation.....

chauvinistic yes, but only to a feminist and besides this thread wasn't created to find fault other than in posting issues"

--Sher

Society condems women/girls for having sex and they get called whores and sluts, yet when men/boys do it, they are praised and patted on the back, and get "Your the MAN!!".

It is not only the girls responisbilty, even though people shouldn't come to a POETRY site to figure out if their pregnant, they should go to a doctor. However, it is not only the womans fault, it is just as much as the mans. They have also gone through sex ed in school, and know how and where to get protection. I personally believe that you should save it for marriage, and that before that, you shouldn't have sex. But that's just me. Oh, and that whole, males have hormones and they would hump a dog thing, well, don't women have hormones as well? Couldn't we make the same excuse? It's about self control. If women have to control hormones, why can't males?

.:Danielle:.

This is why this topic needs to be discussed with your partner. Talk about it- PLAN to be safe.

It is the fault of both the males and females. Maybe a girl should keep her legs closed, but guys should learn to keep it in their pants. It takes two to tango, remember.

Sherry I totally agree with you. When Bob posted this:

"Actually it's not the boys fault except in cases of rape, closed legs don't provide an invitation.....

chauvinistic yes, but only to a feminist and besides this thread wasn't created to find fault other than in posting issues"

I became terribly offended. I have nothing against Bob and I'm sure he didn't mean this personally but I can't believe that someone would think that way. And if a middle-aged man thinks like that, I can't even imagine what little boys think. It is unacceptable to blame either gender more than the other. Girls are to blame, boys are to blame and if you can't discuss responsible sex with your partner, than you should keep the zippers zipped and the pants on. I mean, honestly, its not like girls walk around with their legs open! And there are other cases then rape, when girls (or boys) feel immense pressure to have sex in a situation thats difficult to get out of. And you know what, when a girl is carrying a frickin guys baby, I don't care how wide her legs were open, that is THE MALES sperm that caused that and a uterus does not just fertilize itself so as far as I'm concerned, both parties should be held accountable. Thank you very much Sherry for posting this!

p.s. I'm not a feminist either.

^ I don't know about that, Bob. Your post seems to assume that girls are always the ones being approached for sex by guys. Girls aren't always the passive deciders. In all reality, you need two mutually consenting individuals, in order for there to be any "action" worth having. And, in the end, it is therefore the responsibility of both parties. If a girl doesn't have protection but decides to have sex... then I wouldn't say that it's not "her fault" if she gets pregnant. It is, partially. She couldn't just blame it on the fellow. But neither could it be blamed on the girl alone. Everyone is responsible for their own body, and so should it be when it comes to protection. Best case scenario - with two mature people, both will have the protection they need.

Actually Bob the quote I put were your words exactly in response to mine.

I did no mixing words to read as I like. Maybe it was viewed wrong, but I am not the only person that viewed it like that. If that is the case then type what you mean more clearly and leave no room for misinterpretations. (sp)

--Sher

"The one thing you can't deny or refute is that the girl or woman controls whether there is going to be intercourse period....."

yes... but shame on the boy/man that manipulates the girl/woman into thinking she wants to do it. They use all sorts of pretty words and promises to pressure us to give in.

LOL I love it Ann ... Just preach it to us honey we all need to hear it again

--Sher

It is often the sweet cats that clean up after the bitter cats my love.

--Sher

LOL and you know I love you too ...

But babe it hard for me to clean up my bowl when you are thousands of miles away and I can't reach that far to clean you.

--Sher

I would say that I could hide you, but crap always seem to resurface and floats...

Fickle.. nah, at least not me. But I am on the independant side and don't take crud from anyone lol ...

Original post ... If you can't wrap then don't unpack it baby!

--Sher

Hmmm, thinking one's gender is superior to another's. Interesting concept. Thinking that because only the female of species get pregnant that the male is not equally responsible, most fascinating. Here, honey have an apple; It make you a God. You sure? Yeah, I am sure. Go ahead. Ok, if you say so. Now isn't it easier to see with your eyes open?

Mr. Shank, situations are not all the same and who possesses the control is not identical in every situation so you can't possibly generalize and say "the girl always controls whether ot not the intercourse happens". it is not always the matter of "allowing it" as it is the pressure of the guy.

at the same time, I do agree that families need to talk about sex more. Everything I learned about sex I learned from TV shows, looking it up, and friends. WHEN I finally did get some real sexED it was not very helpful. Everybody laughed and got too embarrassed and it was more about the biology of it and by then everybody knew you put the stick in the hole.

This is no longer a discussion on what is right and wrong, it's about who should learn to control themselves. Well, if women have to control themselves, why don't the men??

^ And.. ew.. sock as a tampon... I have to say I agree with you on this point, that parents need to be more open about sexual education. T.V. is filled with lies. You shouldn't learn about that kind of thing from the television. Or friends who really don't know what they're talking about.

.:Danielle:.

What bothers me is that people think boys can never turn down sex and it is up to the girls to decide when to stop, and if she doesn't she's a whore. Both teenage boys and girls have a sex drive so why is it the girls that have to draw the line? Why are they suppose to turn down sex while it is condoned for a guy not to. No matter how turned on you are, you dont have to have sex, that goes for girls AND guys. Both sexes have biological needs to reproduce so why can't the guys stop and think "It is to risky to do this without a condom" or "I don't know this girl very well". Why is it that when two teenagers have sex people always say "Well the girl should have kept her legs closed so there wasn't temptation" why couldnt we say "well he should have kept it in his pants so there wasn't temptation". And before you say "Well the male sex drive is too strong to resist" Id like to point out the overlooked fact the many teenage girls have a very high sex drive, and control it. So why cant boys?

I agree Lyla. We have set double standards and it is not right.

We should stand up as a society and say NO MORE. We need to hold all parties accountable and teach both boys and girls.

--Sher

Here! Here!

I agree with the Elder Ginger!

Also- agreeing-

Our school is an abstinent school- in health we dont even learn about sex at all! i learned what i know from my mom, friends, and the book Girlology(great book)

But yeah... my mom didnt really explain anything, my friends know what they learned from their friends, and the book was basicly my best source.

TV is so jacked up with all the sex, its disturbing. they wonder why kids (KIDS) are having sex when they have like on Disney teens having pretend kids, and almost every single music video basicly involving it.

I`m not for censorship- i`m for education!

And guys are just as responsible as girls.
Actually, i could flip the table around too::
Guys are suppossed to protect and shelter the girls right?
Is getting a girl knocked up, and leaving her with the kid protecting her?
Males- the better sex, -Whatever you want to say- so they should be the ones to be held responsible for an 'incompetent person's mistake'.

*Lauren

I have no idea about the women's lib movement ... that was before my time.

I am still so young and beautiful..LOL

--Sher