Why... that's the big, scary, unknown question

WHY...

is it so hard to love myself
do i want to die so badly
can i get so easily upset over nothing
do i hate who i am, who i've become
do i dream of suicide
are my wrists scarred
is my heart shattered into a million pieces
do i cry myself to sleep every night
is it so hard to wake up every morning
do i put on a fake smile
does my best friend hate me
do i hate myself?

these are my thoughts...how can i hate myself so much, yet there is someone who can love me so much? what can i do not to hate myself? is this a pointless question, or is there anybody out there who can help? how do you learn to love yourself? to me it seems impossible...

It does seem like an impossible task, but I don't really know how to tell you to fix that but I can give you some pointers of what I do...

` Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and say "You're beautiful and successful!"
` Write down things that you hold Dear to your heart and make you smile, read that everyday
` I have this thing that my Sunday School teacher gave me one time on my wall, it says a lot but I'll sum it up...basically that God puts pain and strife on those he knows are the strongest and can survive, so in your heart just know that you are strong and can make it through everything.
` Every time you are doubting yourself, snap an elastic and tell yourself you are capable of anything that you put your mind to.
` Instead of hurting yourself and making more scars, hold an ice cube to your wrist - it still gives a sensation of pain, but no scars. Scribble on a piece of paper. Listen to calming music or if you're like me, angry music that might make you happy. Go for a walk or a light jog. Do yoga.

I'm sorry if I didn't help but to love yourself, there isn't really anything anyone can say...YOU have to take the first step.

Best wishes. (:

Thanx for commenting, i appreciate it a lot!!

No problemo, I hope you have happy days ahead. (:

I wish I knew the answer to this. I feel such the same way. There are people out there who can help... is there anyone you know who feels the same way? It helps a lot to talk to someone like that. Personally I find it really helpful to me to right down like 3 good and bad things about each day. I feel so lost in why I am who I am that it makes it clearer for me...

And everything that the person above said, they help a lot too... Just be strong, and as much as you want to give in, tell yourself that you can get better.
Polly xx

Word.

Mine are
...have i messed up my own life
...do i think like this
...do i think im fat
...do i have an idea that being thinner will solve my problems

I think i am just gonna go outisde and scream until i lose my voice b/c i have so much inside, and i think screaming will help me get it out

If the screaming doesn't work - you could always try writing a diary/ jourmal type thingy- helps you to organise your thoughts. Maybe something like that'll make u realise what a fantastic person u r and that there are reasons other people love you- reasons which might just make you feel better about yourself.

Squeezing an ice cube isn't going to make you happy. FYIIII.

I've messed up almost every aspect of my life and for a long time i hated myself and i can't really tell oyu how to love yourself....only you can find out. i personally was persuaded by my boyfriend and i took up paganism...i love it. i even went to see a doctor my my suicide thoughts. you just have to know that you're here for a reason and try to accept yourself.

Because your self image is so small that you can break down by the sound of a mirror shatter. The trouble with our generation today is that we have no self-esteem. We are constantly told that we are trash by other people who hope to highten their own self image. People are depressed at the world because that is all they see. There is beauty in this world, but people are reluctant to see it. Everyone has self image problems, but if you can make it more a part of you and grow then you have nothing to fear. If you are lucky and find the person who is truly looking at you when no one else is, hold on to that person. I mean seriously, if that person is actually telling you that "you're beautiful" or "shut up, I love you" than get it through your head!!! She/he is there for you not anyone else! You must grow in body, mind, soul, and heart. Listen to your soul, not your sadness. Because you are too beautiful to have tears running down your face because of someone else's self-image problem. ^_^x

BANGBANG,

Never said it would make her happier...it's a way of feeling pain without taking a blade to your skin and having to deal with scars forever.

Your soul isn't defined by your sadness. Sadness is actually a challenge that we must all endure. Through our lives, we will have sadness. It's how we endure and stay steady, that it can make our souls brilliant and our mind mature. We must not let a thing such as sadness encompass our life. If you do, you'll go crazy and do something stupid and childish like force yourself from this world or shoot up a school (R.I.P victims of the V. Tech tragedy). We all must grow up from our childish thinking, look ourselves in the mirror and be content at what we see. Don't say you can love someone else if you can't love yourself. Their is no such thing as a human having sadness for a soul, that title is held for a higher being than ourselves. We make premature answers when we're intoxicated with anguish and deppression. Your sadness is not your soul, it's just that your sadness is telling your soul something so farfetched that you actually belive it.