Best friend vs. boyfriend?

My best friend since 7th grade. the one i've shared EVERYTHING with- and we've been to hell and back together now has a boyfriend.
im extrmely happy for her that she's found someone she's "in love" with and that makes her happy. except for the fact that he's a butt whole to me ALL the time. and NEVER has anything nice to say to me.

and my bff doesn't say anything to him about it. she just laughs with him all the while knowing how much the things he says hurts me. so i said something to her about it and how she spends all of her time with him and i feel a little forgotten.

well now she's asking me if we're going to fix the fight we're in or end our friendship because her boyfriend is quote "not going anywhere"

i dont know HOW to fix this. i really dont know what to do about this situation at all??:???

Maybe it isn't your duty to fix this situation.

I know it may seem like you're dismissing your "best friend job" by letting her make a mistake, but if you've tried to talk to her about it, and she isn't getting the hint, she may just have to make it herself. And when all is done, you'll be there to comfort her.

Good luck.

What mistake am i letting her make? the problem is that i feel like she's all ready made up her mind that your boyfriend is more important than her best friend. and she's waiting for me to do something about it- one way or the other. but if it's me that "ends our friendship" then it's my fault. and she doesn't have to feel bad about it...

Y IS IT THAT U BLAME UR SELF?!?!
I MEAN DAMN SHE CAN B A LIL MORE OPENED MINDED
2 ME SHES ALL 2 HER BOIFRIEND
U SEEM LIKE A GO0D FRiEND BUT DAMN IF U GETTING DA BOT DEN I GUES ITS TIME 2 OPEN UR EYES N SEE WHATS REALLY GOING ON BETWEEN THE 3

I think that even you trying to fix it is showing how good of a friend you are...her on the other hand - she should stick up for you in front of him! and if she makes YOU choose, and doesnt choose for herself - youre right, because either way to her, youll look like the bad guy.

so, be selfish. this all comes down to you. search down into your heart of hearts for the answer to this: are you willing to let this friendship go, knowing full and well that when they break up she'll come running back to you, or are you willing to give it another try, when you know she'll be stubborn about it

i know either one isnt an easy thing to do, but if i were in your place (and i have been), surround yourself with other things and let her go make her own mistakes. but be strong and honest when she comes running back to you. cuz she will.just give her time

Ok, This same thing happened exactly to me. Me and my bestfriend had been friends for 10 years. She met a guy who she said she was "in love" with although i didnt think it was true as she said it about her previous bfs. She started spending all her time with him and i mean ALL not ever having time to spend with me or even bother to talk 2 me. like we had lived next door to each other for 10 years we use to spend every arvo at each others house and every weekend having sleep overs. Then it all just stopped, School being the only time we would see each other thenshe started wagging and going places with him because he was 17 and we were 15. Everytime i would ask to go over she would be like me and my bf are going out or something like that. So our friendship drifted apart. Expecially when he started saying that i was saying shit about her behind her back like she was cheating on him and she belived him i couldnt belive it, i was heartbroken. He started sleeping over her house and stuff and i didnt mind but my mum didnt like the idea of 2 people so young sleeping in the same room same bed with the door shut and whatever. He would always say stuff to me like "im going to brake up with her" and "she lied to me saying u hate me" and she would tell me the same things. She even missed my bday didnt even txt me or say happy bday acted like it wasnt my bday and then told me that her bf said she had to go out with him not even txt me. The one day they did brake up and he hit her, she called me up crying and saying "omg im sorry i missed you so much and it was his fault he turned us against each other" and i forgave her for that because she was my bestfriend after all. She promised me she wouldnt go back to him and be a fool after he hit her but you know what the nxt day they were sitting out the front of her house hugging and kissing my heart just dropped she made a fool of me and didnt even say hello nothing. Since then we havnt talked she still lives next door to me. I do miss her and whatever but sorry for going off the topic here with my rambling its just ive never actually gotten this off my chest. But what im saying to you is i guess try and fix it the relationship, but sorry to say if she does what my x bestfriend did to me then she really wasnt your best friend. I know i thought mine was but i knew a different her to the way she acted infront of guys. I would really like to know how you and your friend go. So Private msg me.

Ew I can't tell you how many times I've been in this situation, well actually without the insults. If my friend's boyfriend teases me, I tease right back. They knock me with a word, I knock right back. I hate how girls can be (and I include myself in this though I've never had a relationship like this yet) so forgetful of their friends when they're in a relationship. You could be spiteful and fight the boyfriend back (not physically, verbally) but that would risk your friendship so honestly you're probably going to have to give her some distance and find ways to hang out with your BFF without her boyfriend. But if she really is going to end your friendship for a boy...it's going to come back to bite her in the butt when she's alienated her friends and then her and her boyfriend break up...I've seen it happen way too many times.

Word.

I'm going through the exact same thing! My best friend hasn't had a boyfriend in FOREVER and this year she's finally gotten two of them and they were/are complete assholes to me. I've been her best friend since 2nd grade but she has chose them over me!
This isn't your problem, this is your friends. She needs to figure out what she wants to do. If she wants to keep you and her boyfriend, she better find some way quickly to get you two to at least be able to put up with each other and not fight. If you have some serious problems with this guy, stand up to him, tell him what you have a problem with and talk to your friend about it.

Goodluck!

Everyone's advice has been really helpful. one more question.. should i call her and talk about this like one day after school. cause i dont really see her at school for more than like 2 minutes, and i dont want to get into something like this at school anyways.

but the way everyone is putting it makes it seem like its my BFF's problem that her bf and i dont get along. and its HER job to fix it. that's not really how i feel though- i feel like IM the one with a problem with him so I should be the one to fix it- the same time though i dont know HOW to fix it.. so UGGHHH

i dunno... more oponions??

I would probably talk to her - then, if it doesnt help, then drop it. its not worth trying with everything youve got to make it work, then be disappointed in the end anyways.

and yes, you may think you have the problem - but think about it this way, what have you done wrong? you werent the one who started the insults, and if it your friend was in your place, you would have stuck up for her....

It's not up to you to fix it it's up to her.