Moving On Hasn't Ever Been This Hard

Okay, I'll start out with this...

Last year on May 28th, 2006 my best friend Nathan died in a car crash. He was in the car with his family and one of my other friends Gabriel and a semi hit their car... Nathan died instantly and Gabriel is in a coma. They were the only ones hurt too, the rest of the family just had some bruises and cuts.. that's all...
Even though it was almost a year ago, I just can't get over what happened.. I can't move on! Nathan was my best friend, my big brother, my shoulder to cry on.. I could and did tell him everything and he understood me. I loved him too death, not in a romantic way though, just familywise. I didn't even know Nathan for a year but he is just like that understanding big brother I never had. I miss him so much.. I think about him still and most of the time I find myself crying over it. And I hate the fact that if he was here right now, he would be so disappointed in me.. I know he would be. I'm not his little sister anymore, I'm a completely different person.. heartless and worthless. I couldn't even go to his funeral because I couldn't stand the thought of NATHAN'S funeral.

What should I do..? I don't want to forget about Nathan but I can't just forget about him. I've tried so many times but I can't move on, every day I find myself wishing he was here with us and I dream about him a lot.... any advice?

~Loveless Nights~

Oh honey, now this is something that just doesn't get better with time..
It's been years and years since my best ever friend died. We were in a car crash and she died while because she was sat in the seat i was supposed to be sat in.
I blamed myself for a long time and it's only about a year or so ago that i've come to terms with it, yet there's days i still feel as miserable as the first.
Plus my nan died three months ago and the new grief is settling in.
So i'm going to give you the advice that i was given.
Just cry it all out.
It's ok to cry about it and tears help, i don;t know why but they do.
The bad feelings don't go away overnight, it takes a long long time depending on how well you are at coping. I'm not which is why it's taking so long and you sound like the same
But it gets better, i promise
PM me if you want a chat
Take care
*Gem*