Love & Negotiation

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Into You ; By: Teria - I like how the ending was stronger than the beginning as well because normally I'll read poems with really strong beginnings and then the end is just plain, so I liked your ending. Over all, you did a really good job, =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 4/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 19/20

Dreaming Without You ; By: Carrie - First off, the imagery you used in this poem was amazing...it hit almost all the senses if not all of them, and I like the writers that can do that. Second thing was you, as well, had a really strong ending and it stood out to me. Good job, =]

SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 18.5/20

Little Breakdowns ; By: Teria - The first thing I noticed was how the first word says "turn" and then there isn't really anything connected to that word, so I was thinking if you meant "torn" instead? Other than that, this poem was really good as I was reading through it I had a prediction of where you were going to go with it but the way you twisted it I had not guessed.
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 4.5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 19.5/20

Love and Negotiation ; By: HiddenxSoul - I loved the overall idea of this poem, I didn't expect to get one quite like this from this title so I liked the way you were able to surprise me with this. It sends out a good message as well, to me it did anyways, all in all it was a good read, =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 4.5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 19/20

Thinkin' Things ; By: Poetess - I'll just start off by saying that I really loved this poem, it really did something for me and I think you did a wonderful job with writing it and keeping to the same idea throughout the poem as well as being able to convey your feelings maturely. Great job Hun, =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 18.5/20

Got There First ; By: 20sMiLe07 - I loved this, there were a few spelling mistakes that that threw it off and caught my attention more than they should have, but nothing too-too serious. Over all, this was a really good acrostic. Sometimes, acrostics can be very hard to write as well as read, but this was a really good one, do great job. =]
SPELLING - .5/3
GRAMMAR - 4/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 16.5/20

All You Need To Know ; By: Josie - I felt that this could have had a stronger ending to it because the rest of the poem was really strong and than you're ending didn't succeed that strength. Other than that, I loved how you started it off and you were able to keep my attention throughout it, good job. =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 4/5
FLOW - 4/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 16.5/20

Everybody's Favorite ; By: Ciao - Deary, I LOVED the first line of this poem, it really pulled me in but one thing that threw me off was the ending because it didn't match the title. But other than that, it was a really good poem, keep it up. =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 4.5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 18/20

Nothing Good About Lonely ; By: Josie - I felt like because it was a short poem that you couldn't convey as much emotion in it but I know that you tried and it was very good, don't get me wrong but something about it felt a little off to me, maybe the length of some lines compared to others, I don't know.
SPELLING - 2.5/3
GRAMMAR - 4/5
CONTENT - 3.5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 16/20

Little Breakdowns ; By: Britt - I loved the twist to this about how the breakdowns are what's getting her through, I thought that was a really good twist to that and it really stuck out to me, good job Darling =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 20/20

Everybody's Favorite ; By: Wings of Flames - Wow, I totally agree with everything that you said in this poem and I love people that are able to look around and capture society into a short poem such as you had done, it really struck me...great job Darling, just need to fix up the spelling mistakes. =]
SPELLING - 1.5/3
GRAMMAR - 4/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 17.5/20

Love and Negotiation ; By: Sheena - I love you, lol. I love how you can take the simplest title and turn it into something no one else would have been able to do. Your talent shines through in this poem Darling, and it really stuck out to me. Your wording was great as well as all the imagery, great job. =]

SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 4/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 18/20

Nothing Good About Lonely ; By: Charisma - Wow, I loved this. You have a way of really capturing a reader Darling, a talent not many writers are able to really show off these days. The quotes may have been a little confusing but the rest was really good, great job. =]
SPELLING - 2.5/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 4/5
FLOW - 4/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 16.5/20

Winners are posted at the bottom!

OHH! I love Caroylyn Dawn Johnson. I haven't heard the Cd, just a few of the songs, eh.

I'll take:
Little Break Downs
Into You.

Thanks. :D
I'll do them now.

~Dreaming Without You~ please

Have One Done:

Into you [CinqTroisDecaLa].

A voice from the other line causes my eyes to slowly shut.
The game he plays with each call leaves me with no ifs ands or buts.
I cannot seem to shake this awkwardness, to me he has lent.
I know deep down he truly cares and the two of us are meant.
Answers to my questions always end up the same; I don't care.
Somehow I feel this feeling deep down that you just will not share.
For, the things that you say and the words that you always do bare..
They put my life to shame and my soul in a deep, forceful rut.
I know I cannot be wrong. For, there are signals that are sent.
I'm too into you. So, this once is there something that you'll spare?

Dreaming Without You

I sensed it was love,
I felt it inside,
I swore it would last,
Even after it died.

I drank of you sweetly,
And bathed in your sun,
You were all that I wanted,
Now its all come undone.

Dreaming without you,
Comes easier now,
When you first left,
I didn't know how,
Now I'm walking the high road,
The past far behind,
And I'm searching for something,
One day I'll find.

Here dreaming without you,
Feels natural today,
Because time heals wounds,
When love falls away.

Little Breakdowns

Turn
from selfish
-harmful
and moronic ways.
Little breakdowns
are created by those who don't care.

It's
surely known
that you've
no moral rights.
And, that is where
my selfish, harmful and moronic ways
have come from.

Nothing Good About Lonely and All You Need To Know, please.

Josie

Can i have All You Need To Know?
thanks alot

Everyones favourite plz

"Love and Negotiation", please. I love your contests, lol.

Love and Negotiation
by HiddenxSoul

Sitting in the park on that beautiful day,
Spending time patiently talking away,
About all the good things, about all the bad;
All the formations the relationship had.

Right from the beginning, love was the key;
It opened their eyes and made their hearts see.
Since that special moment, a bond was formed,
And from then on 'till now, their spirits have warmed.

A little negotiation, gets them through the weeks.
They answer questions that the other one seeks.
Talking about marriage, a future ahead of time,
Yet knowing that true love, doesn't come without a climb.

Love and negotiation, an answer to their prayers;
Nothing to worry about; conflict, affairs.
Communication equals relationship success.
All that's left to do is go onwards and progress.

Nothing Good About Lonely plz

Charisma*

Got there first please hun :D ill have it wrote by the end of the week :D

Oh is it ok if its acrostic?

Sure is. =)

Everybody's Favorite please doll! <33

Wow i got there first lol jk sorry real bad humour lol :D

:edit:

Got There First (acrostic) :D

Generosity a virtue, forever my all,
Obscure imagination, stood me up tall.
Took the chance, you got there first,

Taken aback when i saw your worst.
Highest of mountains we climbed on top,
Each and every river we swam across.
Reached for the peak of our love,
Energy estatic, rumours we rose above.

Fighter for strenth, flying so high,
Imagining were birds, floating in the sky.
Realising my risks, allowed you to share,
Shared my love, you got there first.
Thank you, you got there first.

hope you like xxx

Dreaming Without You, please. =] Thanks!

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

All You Need To Know

I wrote you a letter
On the prettiest paper I could find
But the wind blew it out of my hands
And it landed at someone's feet.

The letter spoke of feelings so real
So true
So powerful.

But that someone
Just tore up the letter
And burnt it in the fireplace.

My letter,
My emotion filled letter to you,
Was gone forever
And you'll never get to read it.

But all you need to know
Is the main line which read:
" I hate you
And all you did to me "

All you need to know
Is that when that letter was burnt
All memories of you were taken along.

All you need to know
Is that I love my life without you
And this is my final goodbye.

Josie

CopyrightJosieWentzel06May2007

Everybody's Favorite

Blonde hair and blue eyes, with a heart of plated gold-
No one could ever imagine that she could be so cold.
Blue-eyed icy stares, filled with such aggression;
Her faithful followers trail like a funeral procession.

A flip of her hair with perfect manicured nails-
Turns even the tannest kids pale.
How she has the power to do this, no one knows;
But her aura follows her wherever she goes.

Popularity is the key which keeps her engine running;
Her over-perfect looks, achieved by too much sunning.
A snap of her fingers brings all attention to her-
Yet, you can still remember how close of friends you were.

You grew up as neighbors, in a small, quaint town;
You and her was always seen playing around.
All through Elementary, your friendship grew and grew-
You relied on her, as did she relied on you.

But all good things, they come to an end;
Even though you both swore to always be friends.
Junior high changed her, but you just stayed the same.
Memories faded 'til she was only just a name.

How could you let her slip right through your grasp?
"It's not fair," you thought, "I thought that we would last."
But as you saw her, growing farther and farther apart,
Something inside you hurt: the tearing of your heart.

There was nothing you could do, so you let her go;
Now, years later, you just want to let her know:
That no matter what, her popularity, you hate it.
It's just because she's is now Everyone's Favorite.

Please reserve me, "Thinking Things"...

thnx

Nothing Good About Lonely

N o
O one
T o
H elp when we're
I n need
N ever mind how much we have
G iven. I'm

G oing,
O ut and
O ver, feeling
D ead.

A gain no one
B ut me
O ut here alone and
U tterly
T errified

L onely
O r in other words -
N ever with someone -
E ventually
L ife will
Y ield

Josie

Copuright©JosieWentzel07May07

Everybody's Favourite

Dancing in your mini skirt,
Tanned skin to impress,
Pearly whites an illusion,
Of the sl*t who won't confess,

Little girls in cosmetics,
Adorable? I think not,
Bikini babes in their heels,
Impractical. Not hot,

Pussy Dolls shaking their bits,
Erection garunteed,
Another push for the boys,
To start planting their seed,

Molestered, raped and beaten,
But who are we to blame?
As we succle at the media,
Our girl's are put to shame.

Love and Negotiation {Trijan Refrain}

This is a poem about God creating people that whine and he finally tells him to shut and "no negotiation". The Narrator is God, by the way.
````````````````````````````````

For love and negotiation,
Open her eyes to light.
Make more to your own creation,
Make her perfect; just right.
Set her on earth; wonder about,
Look at hands, "They aren't real!" You doubt.
...Set her on earth.
....Set her on earth.
Test those new lips and learn to pout.

"I want this, I [need] that," you scream;
Press your hands to your eyes.
"This isn't like Eden, it seems."
Oh, just shut up and cry.
"I may regret what I create;"
"If you shh, I'll negotiate.
....I may regret.
....I may regret.
If you don't hush, I'll end your fate.

"Now listen here," my deep voice boomed,
"You are my creation."
"You'll listen close or you are doomed;"
"No negotiation."
With that final, the people fled;
"I'm the Creator," I laughed instead.
....With that final.
....With that final.
"No negotiation," I said.
``````````````````````````````
Rhyme scheme: a/b/a/b/c/c/d,d refrain of first 4 words of line five /c

Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4,4 refrain/8

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Nothing Good About Lonely

He broke her heart on a summer night
When he said things weren't working out
She'd planned all her hopes on them
Now they were just shards of doubt

When her friends found out what he did
They tried to cheer her up again
Showed her how she didn't need him
To just take it lightly on the chin

Now she was on her own and could do
Whatever it was that she pleased.
But all the hopes they tried to give her
Didn't really do anything.

She said, "There's nothing good about lonely.
It's just not worth the pain it brings.
The arguements that came with him
Now seem like they were really nothing."

"I shouldn't have pushed him away
I know that half of this is my fault too.
There's nothing good about lonely
'Cause all you have to blame is you."

"It just means I have more time on my hands
To wonder why we didn't survive.
More questions to ponder over
To beat myself up harder inside."

"There's nothing good about lonely.
You'd know that if you'd been there too
There's nothing good about lonely
Because all you have in life is you."

By: Charisma*

Deadline now set.

This is now closed, judging will be done when I get home in a few hours.

This was actually a really tough contest for me to judge, theer were a lot of really good poems...

First -- Thinkin' Things - Poetess
Second - Everybody's Favorite - Wings of Flames
Third - Love and Negotiation - Sheena
HM -- Got There First - 20sMiLe07
HM -- Little Breakdowns - Britt
HM -- Nothing Godd ABout Lonely - Charisma

First - 8 r/r/c
Second - 6 r/r/c
Third - 3 r/r/c
HM's - 2 r/r/c
Everyone else - 1 r/r/c

^^ LEAVE TITLE or else I WILL NOT do them.

Thank you for the third place! I really appreciate it.
If you could do:

01. Dedicated to My Brother
02. Being A Poet
03. I Pledge Allegiance to the Noose {Triquatrain}

Thank you so much.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Well done to all the winners. :}

Please do "My Gothic Heart {Double Triolet}". Thanks.

'The bodys' rain' please and 'I write', and i think what you did with all ours poems was a really good idea. Thank you, i look forward to entering more of your contests. xxx alex xxx

Well done everyone!!!!! Please do Troubled Water.

Thanks

Josie

Thank you!
Most recent two please!
Charisma*