LiSTen To mE

OK- if ur one of those ppl who have friends who cut- listen to me

LeAVe Em AloNE! Be there to listen to them but stop telling em, what they should and shouldn't do and threatening to tell people- COZ trust me- that happened to me- AND They told- AND GUESS WHAT! It ONLY MAE THINGS WORSE! YOu need to figure out why they hurt inside day in and day out and try to be there for them and help them through it. Yelling makes it 10x more likly to end in suicide.

I'm gettin ova it a little, after one year. I had problems- and i still do, but i'm workin them through.

PLease- be gentle- and if you don't understand them- try and help em out

-Luv KT

because by holding their hand- ur helping them through- u can't understand coz uve never been through it- rape and serial murder are completly different things- these people who cut and are depressed just need the help of someone who cares and knows them- they need support- not judgement- thats hat pshycologists bring. They don't know the person- and to them- its a job!

people who go and tell chaplians and stuff aren't supporting them through this with care

- THEY ARE JUDGING!

thats true Anne- thats another part of it. The reason they feel upset is that something is wrong and they need support from someone who knows them and cares about them.

yeh- they might not understand, so ask them some questions, like why are you depressed? What has been happening to you? What does cutting do for you? How does it help you get through your problem? does it solve it?

yes- i do agree, mistakes are easy to make, but going to someone like a chaplain or pshychaitrist is not suport, again, as i said- thats judgement.

Telling on them is not common sense because it is going to make the person involved feel one billion times worse and could even end up in suicide! I know- ive been there. You may not think its judgement- but it is. And the physcs dont know the person- the friends do- yeh maybe in severe cases but i still dont think its right. They need to be talked to by a friend first, and given some time and a friend to talk to who will listen to them and try to understand them- these people need time and stabability (sorry if that aint a word) not people telling them what they should and shouldn't do, As well as how they should feel and blackmail that they'll tell people- or if they do- because they will feel sick. Why do you think theres so much suicide and runaways? Why do you think depressing songs and struggles r so popular?

I think you should just be there for them. Even tho being there 24/7 use to really hurt me when I had to do it. Its very stressful but hey shes my friend. Anyways back to the point. I think it should be kept secret until it gets to far then it should be told.

I have to agree w/ KT on this one. She is my best mate and we're [or we WERE] both cutters. We have a group at school of about 13 of us, and EVER SINGLE one of them turned against us and went to the chaplain. And the problem now is we [or I] can't express myself properly because if i seem down at school they all talk to each other about it and jump on my back. And then they would most likely tell the chaplain - and i know this is lame, but i have the BIGGEST fear of psychs. You have no idea.

But yeh the fact that the chaplain knows has made it ten times worse. In the past week i have cried more than i ever have in my entire life, and i am more depressed.

Anyway, just thought i'd back ya up babe ;)

Luv yaz all, PorteR

yeh- that may be true bob- but some people deal w/ it in different ways, just because a lot of people dont feel like nothing is worth anything, that their soul is too heavy and their eyes have cries too many tears, it is also partly a mental condition and people who dont have it dont tend to understand, i do agree w/ Ryu, it has got to be SO hard for that person in that position, but most people are just like, well they are so selfish and they are doing it for attention. Although, in some cases that may be true, most of the time it aint. They cant deal w/ feeling like shitthey feel worse than anyone can understand- and i have been picked on, everyday of my life. I have been put down time and time again, i have problems at home and my "friends" just want me to feel like crap (not u Porta) But it seems like nothing- but to those who share the depression i feel- it is living hell. The last thing they need is Parents finding out than slitting their throats and grounding them for the rest of their lives!

PUT yourself in the position of a friend, a loved one, a parent. forget that you were the cutter. forget all about yourself and be someone else just for a second. now, what would you feel if you suddenly see your child lying there bleeding, dying, dead. you blame yourself because you didn't do anything. you couldn't save them because you don't know how they feel. i know this doesn't apply to everything but just think about it. what would you do?

you have a sister/brother/friend who you very much love. you find out they're doing something that is harmful, something that might even kill them (not specifically cutting or anything). will you just stand there knowing that they are hurting themselves right at that very moment? would you just let them scar themselves, not to mention their souls because no one understands them? i don't know what i'd do... what would you do?

ok- yes- i undersand that- but telling someone like parents etc. will more than likly end in that. No- the whole idea is not to stand there, i know it is a difficult subject and prosepect, but he first thing they need to do is find out what the problem is.

Now- a scenerio for you

Ok, every day is just a waste of time. You have been abused or bullied your whole life, and you just want to fit in. You finally get "friends" but they just walk off on you. You get called a nerd (even if yuo dont work) and other things worse than that- every single day, and your grades are poor even when effort you put in. Everyday, you feel pulled down inside like all you bad days are pulled together as one but its no where near as good- its worse than all of them together. You get home and get jumped uponby parents, asking what you have done. You ask to go out- but the answer is no- like it always is- the only way to release the pain that is inside is to harm yourself.

Ok that is a small view of my life, and nt even the worst of it. If you were in that position in real life what would you do? Cutting is the only way i can feel happy, the only way i can escape. This happens to a lot of people and they need support to get throgh this, to help them up.

A excuse to indulge in an addiction, of course in a world where everyones right and the right are eternally wrong who is to choose a right path if such a thing exists, certainly not us.
Smokers, drug users, alchol abusers dont think they're weird for being addicted. even though these things case hundreds of thousands of deaths a year. But a person who makes a little or sumtimes not so little cut or cuts upon their skin they're evil and get compared to child molesterors and serial killers. hmmm isn't it all very pretty the way people make befuddlements in their minds. But all the words are empty just like their heads. Whoever you are you need friends, a life without friends is a half-life, you need emotional exchange with people or you go mad, and i certainly wudnt be here without my friends.
Do i cut? yes, Do i need too? yes, Did i do it becase i thort it wud be fun? no, does it make me feel better? yes. You dont tell your on friends if their giving themselves cancer, Your not a friend if you tell because of cutting. Talk to the person everybody needs a friend, a shoulder and re-assure of brighter days. dont giv up.
A lot of people will never understand or even try to because their take on life and events differ, which is a good thing, an opinioly robotic world would not be good, do not pass judgement on people as it is not your place.
No-one cares about what i just wrote and i doubt people will ever read it or understand, but maybe someone will.
No-one is wrong, so no-one is right

Love, Peace and Empathy

Cantchangeme

Amy

In regards to the first post: It wouldn't help if you got al up in their face about it. I have a problem with cutting myself and my friend didn't ask about it until I told her. Then even she wasn't really rude about it, she just asked me wh, and how it helps and things like that and she tries to convince me not to. She even tried to prove her point once by cutting herself and I flipped out, but I don't think someone should do that just to prove a point. But don't push someone who cuts themselves because they just might be driven over the edge. One time I attempted suicide and somehow my mom found out, and thankfully she didn't get all up in my face about it or push it, she just asked me like 5 million questions. If she had pushed it, I'm not sure I would still be here today.
- Hamster

Thanx Amy and Hamster- i feel that way too. You cant just stop the pain because you dont understand. no one does except for the people who have been through it and no one has the right to interfere in their lives

No they DONT! I hate them and they r a**holes! They have no right to go digging in my life and tell me what to do about it- id rather die!
kt

Bob, you might be 47, but you have no idea of what it's like nowadays for kids. You make it sound like it's so easy to stop when you have a problem. Do you want to get all up in someone's face if they have a problem and drive them over the edge, therefore being responsible for their death? Is that how you feel? Cause that's what it sounds like. And about ranting like a 2-year-old, sorry, but until you know what their life is like, you can't judge and say things like that. You have no idea how bad their life might be, and you shouldn't say things like that when you don't know anything about it!
-Hamster

I agree with you except I still think people can push people over the edge. It is partly an individual choice, yes but it can be a lot of influences by other people. I also think that it isn't that no one should have the right to interefere with someone's life, because that shouldn't be true. Some people should, but I think what they meant was that their parents make bad desicions or something like that and they don't think their parents should be able to interfere with their life.

I agree with you somewhat melody. you should try to help them to the best of your ability, and yes, if that does not work, tell someone. But don't tell them that they are stupid for doing it or anything because that might just make them do it more. I might sound stupid right now but I know what they would want because I cut myself and if it got out of control and I couldn't stop, yes, i would want some help, but it's not to that point yet. i've only done it 5 times.

Well i GIVE UP! NO ONE will lisen to me and take my point seriously so im going to stop being bothered! But i hope ONE day you guys will have a problem and get shit back in ur face when people start telling you what is 'right' maybe then ull understand! Thankyou Hampster for ur help and back up.
kt

No Bob, I just think she wasn't looking for some one as rude and obnoxious as you. Sorry if I'm offending you since I'm 13 and you're 47, but it's true. She was trying to give people advice and you just came and shot her down. I think she was giving advice, not trying to get it, so why don't you just back off?

I am Hamster

i agree with kt
i am getting through to my friends through jokes and stupid faces and she hasnt cutt in 4 months