[Musicals] xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

CLOSED. JUDGING WILL BE SOON.
Thank you for your patience. Good luck everyone.
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This is a contest with titles based of famous Broadway classicals. Enjoy yourself. =]
I decided with the end of school coming up, I'll have a lot of time. Thus, I wanted to hold a contest. Who's in with me? =]
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First, the rules.
Rules:
`No cliche poetry. Write about what you like, but if it's cliche, I'll kill you. =]
`I prefer rhyming, but who am I to tell you how to write?
`One person per title, one poem per person [for now.]
`If you ignore any of the rules you are disqualified.
`I love grammar and punctuation. Make me proud, not want to hit you with a hot iron rod. =/
`I know this isn't very clear, so if you have any questions PM me or ask them here. =]

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Next, the titles:
Titles:
03. Brigadoon
05. Camelot
09. Gypsy
11. Little Shop of Horrors
12. Miss Saigon
14. Song and Dance
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Reserved:
08. Hello Dolly -- Jenna
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Done:
07. Godspell -- Holy Hellcat
02. Aspects of Love - Italian Stallion
01. A Little Night Music - Ironic Disguise
15. West Side Story
10. Jesus Christ Superstar
06. Fiddler on the Roof - Jenna
04. Bye, Bye, Birdie -Teria
14. Song and Dance
13. My Fair Lady
My Fair Lady -- Startle Lady
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Ends:
Roughly May 31 - June 3.

Prizes:
01. Depends on how good it is.
02. Depends on how good it is.
03. Depends on how good it is.

And, of course, enjoy yourself!

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

A Little Night Music
PLEASE AND THANK YOU :D

Fiddler On The Roof, please

=]

I'd like, "Aspects of Love"

Thanks, Joe

So would these poems have to be based on the musicals, or can we just use the title, or base it on a performance we saw of one of the musicals?

Use the title. I haven't seen of these; they're just really good title ideas. I had to pick from a list for my drama class and these were some of the titles. =]

Enjoy.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Cool, cool. I'll take Godspell.

I blame "Godspell"
The show you were in
Took part of
Retransformed, mangled
Made your own

Mama would be so proud
Of all that you have done
I am just a little girl
You are God's begotten son
And if you play the mandolin once more
before the night is through
You should have cared
I should have known you weren't the one

You just had to be perfect
With your musical genius
And your distinctive features
But you're not Jesus
You never wore the shaul
You just look the part
You just played your guitar

So why do I feel like Judas
When your storm cloud blue eyes
Fall on mine
I'll let you go
And let you grieve
After you recieve
A bitter kiss on the cheek
I know they want you more than I

Aspects of Love (Acrostic)
Bt: Italian Stallion

A beautiful young women
Stands upon thy very self
Pondering thoughts of love
Excitedly awaiting
Choking on excitement, for
The love she holds within her hands
Shines down upon thyself

On this gloriously filled day
Finding love will be an easy feat

Looking down from the heavens above
Overlooking the search for her love
Veering far away from
Enchanted love memories

© Copyright 2007 By: Italian Stallion

**edit nevermind i have it now :)

A Little Night Music

The silent ring of church bells rang out towards the town
The streets deserted of children, the clouds covered in black
Up in the old wide treetops, the raven stood up proud
For he and only he, knew the blackness of the night

He let out his famous caw, and soon the vultures followed
Coming for a feast that one would never suspect

Walking along the street, ol’ man Cecil came along
A paper in his right hand, a cross-held in the other
Whistling a tune his father taught him, long long ago
And to the sky he looked, seeing the raven’s eyes

The silent ring of church bells ran though out the town
As ol’ man Cecil came along and listened to the caw

Deep within the ravens eyes Cecil found his calling
Sent to him by the devil himself, sheltered by the storm
The whistling tune that his father sang had flown from his mind
As the raven called the vultures out towards the feast

The crickets were all singing, the vultures set the beat
As ol’ man Cecil, looked up to the blackened covered sky

And in the hours of the night, the music set its tone
The silent church bells rang their old and dreary song
As his paper hit the sidewalk, his tune was lost in screams
Of the many nearing vultures coming for their feast

A cross sits in his left hand, and nothing in his other
As the silent ring of church bells rang out towards the town

"West Side Story" please. :]

West Side Story
by SecludedSerendipity

Six 8-year-old children look on in despair,
As one of their friends lies naked and bare.
His body his tortured, his soul disappeared;
This was the one thing that everyone feared.

They live in a town, which is broken and scarred;
Glass, drugs and needles cover all the backyards.
Junkies in the daytime, junkies during the night,
Never does a day pass, without an angry fight.

Their clothes are all dirty, their hair is a mess.
Where are the parents? That's anyone's guess!
They want a little love, they want a little care,
Yet they'll never complain about life being unfair.

A town in the west, forgotten and lost;
One step out of line: a child pays the cost.
It happens almost weekly, someone in this place dies,
Every time this happens, hundreds more people cry.

Do you know how they feel? Can you see in their eyes?
If you don't understand, then please just try:
Listen to their words, they don't want any glory.
They just want someone to hear this west side story.

04. Bye, Bye, Birdie
thanks :]

Wow. I thought this would go a lot quicker.
Anyone else? =/

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

I'll try jesus christ superstar but not promising anything
xxx

Jesus Christ Superstar,
It's not like he's promising miracles.
So pray to this blurred saviour,
But you're reasoning's not empirical.

And the girl who cries with that hungry babe
feeding upon her breast.
Yeah, she didn't listen to daddy's advice,
But I'm telling you Jesus knows best.

"The Lord gives and the Lord takes away"
I'm laughing at the satire,
But not as much as He is laughing,
As rosemary beads become your mandatory attire.

So punish yourself something awful,
And repent for using your voice.
The crowd all notice the change in you,
But the congregation tells us it was your choice.

So put Him on that pedestal,
Though I don't know who you are.
You take his word indisputably,
Because he's Jesus Christ superstar.

Sluvious--
They're too common, save for the last one.
I tried to pick names people would enjoy.
However.
If you want to do one not on the list, that's not against the rules.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

All right.
I guess I won't be getting anymore.
IF you're resevered, get yours in.
I'll judge in roughly a week.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Sitting on top of the roof last night, I met a young man,
With stars in his eyes he turned and said to me:
"I know what you're thinking, and I've been there, I ran -
Trust me, it's easier to live life in the sky, absently;

But it's not easier to miss your child's first steps,
For I remember now, as I looked down to my family,
She was looking right into my eyes as she wept:
'She finally took her first steps, Babe, did you see?'

Of course, I was screaming my answer down to her,
But she couldn't hear me, so she bowed her head,"
I looked over to him, tears so true from a fibber -
And as he took my hand in his, he turned and said:

"Now I know you don't trust me, and I don't blame you,
But if there's one thing you need to trust, trust your heart,
For it knows you best, it was there while you grew -
And if I could take back what I did, it would be a start."

Looking into my broken blue eyes, he stood and sighed:
"In my heart, I still hold my family dear to me,
And if you look over to that star up there in the black sky,
That's me watching down and smiling for you to see."

As he got up and left again, he left me with that advice,
One that only a fiddler on the roof could say so seriously,
"For every decision, there's a consequence, so think twice -
Is what my Dad had come back down to share with me.

-Jenna Elphick
May 28, 2007

[Meaning being that the girl was thinking about running from her family, and her Dad who was the fiddler on the roof, came back to tell her not to.]

Hey.. just wondering is this contest over? xx

Not until I get all the reserves and time to judge it.
Soon, in other words.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Bye, Bye, Birdie.

Bye, Bye, Birdie
have you any soul left?
Yes ma'am, yes ma'am
only what you've kept.

Bye, Bye, Birdie
have you any heart left?
Yes sir, yes sir
only what you've kept.

Bye, Bye, Birdie
have you any love left?
Yes child, yes child
only what you've kept.

Bye, Bye, Birdie
have you any hope left?
Yes love, yes love
only what you've kept.

Bye, Bye, Birdie
have you faith left?
Yes doll, yes doll
only what you've kept.

Bye, Bye, Birdie
have you any tears left?
No town, no town
it's the only thing you haven't kept.

Question, dear Sheena.
Although I do love Audrey Hepburn.
Am I going to have to talk to her seeing
I'm going to pick My Far Lady?

^^^
I'm pretty sure I didn't understand that, but if I did, the answer is no? o.O.
Shall I reserve you...?

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

I've sent the two reserves their warning message, so I'll be judging this in a couple of days.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Darn.
Why do most people don't understand what I say?
Excuse my writing, my dear.
I meant to ask.
Am I going to have to talk about the movie?

Nevermind.
It's due today.
Forget it then
*sigh.
And I WAS excited about it.

No, Startle, you aren't.
And.
It's due in a FEW days.
More like...three or four.
And.
If you promise to get it done, I'll be nice and wait on you.
BUT.
Hurry! =]

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

*My Fair Lady*

Eyes of twilight,
Sweet, divine
Eruption of the brightest light.
Cascading down the brink of life.
If the London bridge were to fall,
She'd catch it.

Hands of darkened satin,
Silken thread,
Broken into songs of Latin,
My music of her never ends.
My fair lady
Reigns over them all.

*enjoy*

If I can do another one, I will do Hello Dolly.

My Fair Lady

The woman looks at the men flirtatiously;
Batting eyelashes, twirling with her hair.
She is the desire of every man in the room.
As everyone else in the area sit and stare.

A beautiful face, perfect teeth, gorgeous body
One could sense that it is her natural beauty.
She could make every average man drool.
For it is this beautiful woman's duty.

At night time, the character would change
Her makeup would clog the beautiful face.
Harlot would wear no more than underwear
As the woman sells her body and her grace.

Yet, it is her job to vend herself in the streets.
For this woman relied on her beauty too much.
She is still the same woman underneath it all.
Men would still lose their mind at lady's touch.

Hello Dolly

She hikes her skirt up; giving those boys what they crave,
And down on the dance floor she becomes the music's slave,
Twisting and turning her body; shaking it Hollywood style,
She flashes her milky smile; with a drug dealer on speed dial.

With Daddy's credit cards, she's the star of the bar scene,
Never hearing them say: "What a shame for homecoming queen!"
She puts disgrace to these windy dirt roads with that fake old grin,
Rotting out her pearly whites with the whiskey and tainted gin.

She's the prom queen; with a perfect heart of pure gold,
Put on the back burner; her prices were slashed and sold,
And standing down on Santa Monica Boulevard she cries,
With the photos of her in bare flesh flashing in her green eyes.

"Hello Dolly; won't you please tell me your name?"
Another stranger pleads; giving her ego false fame,
And her high heels are kicked off in the backseat of his car,
Reliving the sex scene that helped to make her a star -

Looking to the rearview; she watches her pretty life fade,
Caught up in the moment; his pathetic moans for a serenade,
And she kicks up her feet for a shot of the taste,
Forgetting about the title she left behind in her disgrace.

She hikes her skirt up; giving those boys what they crave,
And down on the dance floor she becomes the music's slave,
Twisting and turning her body; shaking it Hollywood style,
She flashes her milky smile; with a drug dealer on speed dial.

-Jenna Elphick
June 11, 2007

Excellent!
Thank you, Jenna!

I'll be judging soon, then.
As soon as I start feeling better [terrible headaches, lately]. I'll definately have this done with in the next few days.

And.
While you're reading this, go join my <other> contest, "Got To Catch 'Em All! [[Pokemon]]"

There are unlimited titles and what I think as really good ones.
So. Yeah. Enjoy. =]

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Jesus christ superstar plz

>.<
Argh.
I'll let you have it if you can do it by the time I feel like judging.
Hurry.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Yeah.
That's what I thought; she wouldn't come back.
So.
I'm going to go ahead and judge this tomorrow. Hopefully.
I have a lot of writing for contests [I] have to do and they're all closing soon. So. Expect it in the next few days.
Thanks for being so patient.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

From DepthsofPassion. She PMed it to me to be put in.
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Little Shop of W-h-o-r-e-s

This poem is just a random poem...I know that it isn't any good and that it is a mess form wise...however i thought it was funny and wanted to post it...you have my permission to down vote it...you wouldn't be telling me anything I didn't already know.
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Come one come all;Gather around for the show.
Let's mock this fella who was deceived and now calls himself a moe*.
Stare at him in dismay;Gaze at him in shock.
Hedidn't realize that the woman with the broad shoulders was a crock.
Long legs and golden hair,
he paid no attention to the stares.
The bump in her pants was nothing more than a mosquito bite.
This lovely girl was an outrageous sight.
Her lips were silky smooth even though her beard tickled.
Turns out her name is Sam, she has a wife and kids.
Her lies were like toast without jam.
She was his eggs and bacon and now he is stuck with cream of wheat.
The seductive taste she left upon his tongue has turned into something sour.
He takes in the metallic scent of her perfume justifiably called deceit.
She was his first taste of the little shop of horrors.
She forced him to sip from the cup that runneths over with whores.
He dreams at night of satisfying his taste of wanting more.
Come one Come all;Gather around for the show.

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This poem is about a man who falls in love with a woman he found at a whore house...."she" turns out to be a "he".

*short for homosexual

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

And.
Beware.
I'm not all that nice.
I'm doing the judging now.
Results will be posted tonight unless I get distracted. =]

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Here are the comments I made:
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Godspell -- Holy Hellcat

This has potential because I thought I liked the point. Um. But basically I didn't enjoy it at all. It didn't rhyme, the flow was okay but the form wasn't. Overall I didn't enjoy it. The only reason I potentially liked it was a few lines that stuck out to me that you could do a lot with. And there was no punctuation; that killed any potential it had.

Aspects of Love [Acrostic] -- Italian Stallion

First off, you are not Shakespeare. "Thy" and "Thyself"; let's leave it to him. If you are going to use them, sure, go ahead, but use it so it doesn't seem forced.
Now, I know you do a lot of Acrostics, so I won't say much there because you do better than I. I usually hate this form, but you didn't do too badly.
However. I have to complain about the punctuation; put it in and the flow will be amazing and the meaning so much clear.
And in the last two stanza you used the word "love" 2035732495 times. Okay. Maybe it was only three times, but it was really distracting to me. Also, the last line made no sense in my opinion. So.

A Little Night Music -- Ironic Disguise

Just at first glance, you seem to have a bit of a problem with your computer. But. Who cares; just thought I'd tell you. =]
Now.
Damn. Oh. F.
I was like "non-rhyming, oh dear", but girl, you blew me away with this! The imagery was absouletly stunning, I loved the storyline and some certain lines stuck out to me [that's really good]. This is absoultely breathtaking and if this isn't one of your best, you might want to tell me; you'll be on my favroites in a heartbeat.
Only a few complaints. I didn't see any punctuation and I'm a stickler about that. It would [really] help the flow. Try putting some in.
My absolute favorite line:
"For he and only he, knew the blackness of the night."
"The crickets were all singing, the vultures set the beat."
And I loved the second to last stanza how you were talking about tone in the first line and said the man lost his tune in the third. That played nicely off each other.
And finally I loved the form you used and the ending was subperb. Bravo.

West Side Story -- SecludedSerendipity

Okay. Doll.
I really hated the beginning. It did pcik up on the last two stanzas, though. The rhyming and flow was good, though the rhyming a little cliche. If you had stuck to the point you had in the last two stanzas thorughout your poem it would have been a lot better. The first three ... I'm not sure what to say.
So.
And. I liked that you used some punctuation. Nicely done.

Jesus Christ Superstar -- Espoir*failed

Eh, this wasn't bad.
I wasn't sure of the message, though. I seemed to be favoring the well done rhyming and excellent flow. I did like the point, though, if I was the one that got it. I liked that you used punctuation as well. Not too bad.

Fiddler on the Roof -- Lush.Fcuk-*

I liked this, Jenna. There are a few things I didn't like about it, honestly, but I [loved] and [adored] the message you were portraying. I felt you could have extended it and explained a little more what the father was saying and what he really meant; did he die? or was he just sitting randomly on the roof. I don't know. I loved your word choice and rhyming, however you seemed to be a bit repeative in places. Over all I loved the message and though it could have been executed a little better, I still loved it. It did give me chills.

Bye, Bye, Birdie -- Teria

I think I like this. A lot. But I'm not sure. I know I didn't like the ending stanza; it seemed to throw everything off. But I did love the repeative nature in this and yet it wasn't so repeative. I loved that you switched up words in the third line and in the second and forth kept the rhyming the same. I don't know why, but there's something about this poem that I really like and really dislike. And thank you for using punctuation; you did nicely there.

Song and Dance [Triolet] -- Britt

Oooh! BRAVO, Britt! I've been waiting to read this and I'd say it's one of your best. But, I've always loved Triolet's.
However, I see two things to complain about.
You said "Finding your someone..."
shouldn't it be "Finding your someone{'s}"
But. Yeah.
And then. Punctuation. You know how I am about that; it would flow so much better with some punctutation.
However, I loved this. It was beautifully written, I loved all the lines, and I adored the form. Congradulations.

My Fair Lady -- Kiss me Kill me

This isn't too bad. I fricking LOVE the first stanza; it's perfect and I ADORE the line "If the London Bridge were to fall, she'd catch it". That made me shreak with joy. I adore it.
Now.
I didn't much care for the form and I honestly think you should switch the first and second stanza; the first says so much more than the second and it'd be an interesting ending, but maybe that's just me.
Not too bad at all, my dear.

My Fair Lady -- Startle Me

Hm. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I liked the idea of the poem, but I'm not sure that it was executed well.
The last stanza was your best by far and I'd hnave to say the first and second your worst.
Also. As I gripe about with everyone; punctuation. It helps so much, people.

Hello Dolly -- Jenna

Oh. That's really good, Jenna. I really like the thought of it and it was well executed. Very nicely done. I loved that you used punctuation; that makes me smile. And I frcikng [adore] the first and last stanza. The second and fourth line of those were absoultely perfect and that's why I love this poem so much. I adore the way you wrote this and even though it was a bit explict, I enjoyed it just the same. Nicely, nicely done.

Little Shop of W-h-o-r-e-s -- DepthsofPassion

Okay. Brit. I liked it. It's definately your best that you've let me read. The flow was off and there was random rhyming, but certain lines I adore and couldn't ask for anything more.
"Come one, come all, gather around for the show" As the beginning line was perfect for the beginning and ending of the poem.
"The bump in her pants was nothing more than a misquito bite"
That's absoultely hilarious. It makes me laugh everytime.
"She was his eggs and bacon and he is stuck with cream of wheat"
Touche. Nicely done. I don't know what say; I just love that metaphor.
"The seductive taste she left upon his tongue has turned into something sour."
Again, touche. I Loved that line and the description in it.
"She forced him to sip from the cup that runneths over with whores"
Hahaha. That makes me laugh. However, I don't like "runneth"; you're not Shakespeare, but if you MUST use it, it shouldn't have an "s" on the end. But. Yours didn't seem too forced.
Overall I enjoyed reading it even if the flow was off and there was no rhyming. I loved the idea about this and you did pretty well for executing it. Nicely done.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

The winners and prizes:

1st -- With 10 comments
A Little Night Music -- Ironic Disguise.
Beautiful!!!

2nd -- With 6 comments
Song and Dance -- Britt
You make me want to sing and dance with this. ;]]]

3rd -- With 3 comments
Hello Dolly -- Lsh.Fcuk-*
I'll be your music's slave. =]] Lmao.

Honorable Mention -- With 1 comment
My Fair Lady -- Kiss me Kill me
I'll catch London Bridge as it falls.

I realize I was a harsh critic to some, if not a lot of you, but remember it's only my opinion. If you liked what you came up with; don't listen to me. =]

The four of you, please, please, please leave titles. No love or friendship unless you just want a vote and no comment.

Ironic Disguise --
-1. Foul is Fair
-2. Sisters Forever
-3. This is how I disappear
-4. Steps of Time
-5. Chill of the Air
-6. Streets of Imagination
-7. Praying For Peace
-8. Falling Child
-9. Release Her
10. Uncover The Lies

Brit --
-1 Soul Ignition
-2 Blue Moon Breathing
-3 That Ain't a Crime
-4 A Soft Twinkle In Your Eyes
-5 Moon Confessions
-6 Love Me a Little Less

Lsh.Fcuk-*
-1. Thunder Acoustic
-2. Die Romantic
-3. Take Me Away

Kiss Me Kill Me
-1.

xTheEcstaysofSuicidex