Help me from this insanity

I need some help, I have a lot going on and I a lot on my mind that is slowly pushing me to go back to everything I thought I had over come, I want to drink so bad right now and I want to do other stuff a few cuts and a bruise or to and I might feel better but I am trying not to do that, so ok…..

On Tuesday of last week I basically became a mommy, my cousin dropped her daughter off with me and left state, I love her daughter as my own and I have practically raised her as my own, I had her every weekend like I had partial custody, but anyway I don’t know what to do, I can go to jail for this, and her mom can to, she keeps asking about her mom and I don’t know what to tell her. I CANT tell her that her mom abandoned her. And I moved in with her grandma to help raise her, (her grandma is my aunt) but it is still so hard. She sleeps in my room, she is super attached and I love her to death but I worry about her mom calling it in as kidnapping or showing up to take her back either of them would kill me.

On top of all of this I still have to go to therapy twice a week and I hate it, my therapist is constantly telling me to just snap out of this depression and telling me that I bring all of this on myself, she told me I was worthless and would never amount to anything, and she just keeps pushing my buttons with stupid shit.

My dad is heart broken that I moved out but he understands why I did it, my mom on the other hand has called me in as a run away twice since Tuesday and I am scared with her calling me in as a run away that they will find out that alley isn’t mine and that they will put her in the system, foster care or in a residential home like for bad kids,

So there is just a lot on my mind and I don’t know how to cope with all of it, there is no hope for me in this situation, nothing is going to make it go away and money is an issue also I have to get my job back so I can support alley and myself.

So ya not much hope but what do you think? what to do?
Nessa

I know that but i cant convince my mom of it soshe keeps making me go back there, and ya thanks though
ness