All cutting, self harm posts, this is the thread #5

This is where posts about cutting belong, either experiences, helpful hints or just sharing...

and please do not disrespect this thread......the cutting I am referring to is self harm, anything other than that will be penalized....Thank you

Well I cut and I'm looking for a way to stop any ideas?

If you find any send them my way! Tripped up again before anyone asks.

Here is a great site that gives advice on quitting, it will give you songs that are related to cutting, Movie stars/Band members/famous people that admit to it,books to read about it, information, etc...
Its really a great site especially when you feel all alone because you realize you're not!

Though here are some tips that I have used:
1:Use rubber bands or ice on the areas you want to cut.
2:Start a hobby
3:Take deep breaths/calm yourself look for other options
4:Make a reason not to... a promise or a goal to look forward to
Though these are just the things I did to keep away from cutting, you are different so you may do different things.
I.E. You could be one of the people that can throw it away and in the midst of trying to find a sharp object you lose the urge. Personally doesn't work for me because there are to many places I can get something sharp or another way to harm myself.

I have been clean for I think 6 or 7mths... I myself made myself a promise to someone that I wouldn't do it...when that was not enough they proposed me a goal...When I get married I wouldn't be able to wear a strapless let alone short sleeved dress...I look forward to getting married with a strapless dress so....it worked for me so far....

I'm not saying you are going to be able to quit and not ever want to again... And I'm not saying that it is easy. Because its NOT and whoever told you it was lied to you! Well it wasn't for me and most people that I know and have chatted with about it found it very difficult. I have had relapses but I just have to try and keep looking forward...

That could work for some, but they are not hurting themselves to hurt us, people hurt themselves as a coping mechanism, a lot of the time it is because you hate yourself. It is a pain you know and recognize and control. It is like having an eating disorder or a drug problem.

^^^ Well put.

I hope all cutters read what you posted Memories. Well said.

Yeah! i know what u mean. i used to cut, and my bf cut too. i never realised how much one person harming themself could tear another person apart. i never thought that me cutting or Will (my bf) cutting could hurt anyone as much as it hurt me.

when i first saw those cuts on his arm u can't imagine the things that went through my head. that when i realised "this is the same way my friends feel about me" so i quit and he quit. its sooooo much easier this way! haha

i hope that helped someone....it probably didn't....but oh well....

xo kisses xo

Thanks so much! I'm gonna try that i hope it helps <33

I really think if your friend cuts you mustn't tell them it's selfish but rather try understand where they are coming from. People respond better if you try understand and then from there you can help them get through the tough spot they're going through. It's not about you, it's about them and how much they are hurting. From there you can really help them. You have to know where someones been to know where they are going.

I think that anyone who cuts and wants to stop should just talk to someone they know will understand them. Someone they can talk to about all the problems they are having. Try talking, It can really help
:)

Guilt worked for me, i made a promise to my boyfriend, and after i broke it, i couldn't live with myself. but i do agree, the guilt thing doesn't work for everyone.
another thing is that he did was that he tried to help and he truly cared. he wanted to help me through things with my mom and dad, which were the things causing me to cut.
i think that's sometimes all someone needs... someone to be there, and to help them. They need someone to love them... someone willing to try to help and be patient... someone to forgive them if things don't always turn out for the better...

Hey, I've been cutting for four years..
but i was able to stop for over a year..
my friends helped me to stop.. they were a big help..
I only got back to cutting 'coz I realized they were the reason why I started cutting in the first place..
Oh, the irony of it all..
My cure is also my cancer!!

Oh i kno...
my best friend (the boyfriend i made the promise to) was the reason i did it again this year...
it really sucks when the ones you turn to are the reasons why you do it...

I have one ""friend"" who yells at me when she finds out each time I cut. This personally really hurts and I'd rather be told nicely and lovingly how much it hurts her.

Yeah i used to cut a lot and then i stopped..and then something sent me back over the edge and i did it again..i felt horrible but it truly is addicting..what helps me to stop for a while though is just to keep busy. or when you start to feel like cutting turn on happy music or do something..idk it helped me[for a while at least]
-Elizabeth

If anyone knows an effective way that is new PLEASE let me know

If anyone knows effective ways to stop pm them to me please! I do it almost like four times a week and I'm only 13....

I'm been a cutter for 4 years now...Although I have been trying to quit and have been clean for about 2 months now...But life is just overwhelming right now and its all I think about...I try writting about it but it doesn't work...Any one know something I could do?

"And this is what i've told her:
You are selfish, do you know each time you cut yourself your hurting me and everyone that loves you?"

I personally don't think this is the right way do address
a problem such as cutting...Cutting is a way of processing pain. The message behind it is important. Too me, when someone said that too me instead of stopping completely i hide it from them. I'm too scared to open up and tell them i'm hurting. Them saying that added to my emotional pain. Feel free to voice your opinions on this. Would be interesting to hear...

Deeplyinlove,
try thinking about what it is that made you stop. or if it wasn't someone, think about why you wanted to stop. stay clean for that reason.
hope it helps, that's what helped me...

Don't mean to sound depressing, but i have tried everything! I just can't seem to stop cutting. I have about given up hope. Any more advice??

We all have a choice, give in or don't. If you really don't want to stop cutting you won't. Write, paint, walk, join a group, go to therapy, be honest with the people around you and find friends you can depend on to provide that ever needed distraction.

Well do you know why you cut? many people cut becuase of depression/ stress! there is so many reasons! once you figure it out then make yourself to busy and happy to find the time to cut it helps with me. I cut whenever I am very depressed!

Angel eyes,
DONT give in... find a reason to stop...
something or someone that youre living for right now... that you cant live without...
stop cutting for that reason alone...
maybe youve tried it... you're probably making yourself believe it wont work, so it doesn't.
just keep trying, i know how hard it is... it took me forever

I agree. If you give in, you'll end up like me, constantly in the hospital from blood loss and having blood transfusions.
It's not fun stuff.
On spring break my parent's god so fed up with me doing it, that they institutionalized me.
It's not a good habit to have and you need to break it while you can.

Okay one thing I do give as advice is if you are doing it for attention just stop...It makes you look silly to the people who are doing out of true pain.
Another thing is if you are good at talking about it then talk...just be careful to who you talk to!
I can't really talk about it..For a long time I couldn't even say cutting aloud...and I would shrink away from people when I saw cuts on their arms(it was a big fad for a long time at my school...made me sick...) So I would just write or I would keep it to myself...My parents aren't understanding and my best friend told me she would stop being my friend if I didn't stop...I didn't stop and it broke my heart but you know when you are telling someone you are hurting them by cutting it sometimes just makes them feel worse and makes them dislike you for they think you are making it all about you..when in reality its probably not! I know it hurts it kills me when my gf scrapes her face with a knife if I cut....So I had to stop...
Please review the tips I gave...And the website...There are also several books on cutting that are fiction and talk about going through it...and there are some movies...
Here are the book titles
Speak it is also a lifetime movie but it doesn't talk about cutting in it...
Cut
The best little girl in the world...its not like it seems
The movie Girl Interrupted starring Wynona Ryder and Angelina Jolie
Thirteen
and there are many more I just haven't read or seen yet! So check out the website I gave earlier and it talks about some stuff....and gives you tips and better advice! So please try that!

Sports are good for that sort of stuff. That way you can take your emotions out on someone else. =)
Football is the best.
And a lot of people think therapy doesn't help, but it does.
I was in two different groups for my cutting.
It helped a lot. And it helped me understand that I could do other things instead.

And...
OHMYGOD. It was a fad?!?! That's sick.

Ok so here's my opinion, sorta...
some people who cut do it for attention. they do it so people will notice them. they do it so people will care about them. or some even do it to fit in. these people need to be told that its not the new cool thing, and that it's not making anyone like them better if thats the case. these people who do it purely for attention might not actually have the problems to back up their actions.

but then there's everyone else who uses cutting as a way to cope. either their life isn't what it should be or something just went horribly wrong. these people really do need to be helped. because maybe these problems wont go away, maybe their need to cut will grow more and more. so what happens when it gets to be too much? some people will stop cutting at that point, but for others, it's their only way out.
if people have anything to say about this, i will gladly post something else to try to make myself more clear.

True, there are other ways to cope, but some people just aren't open to them. some are perfectly fine with cutting b/c they do get relief. they think that since it hasn't seriously hurt them yet, that it never will. if they're addicted to cutting themselves, they think it's the answer. i mean... why would you try to find another way to cope if you've already found one?
music is usually my way to cope, i listen to some emo/punk/screamo music and it makes everything go away. it takes me to my own world where everything is perfect.

Wow

Yeah it really was a fad...All the little kids who would have died if they say a cut on you...but then everyone did it and no one thought it was a big deal...There was also a fad where you burned yourself with a pencil eraser....And I agree with the things that you people say....Though its not always for everyone

Clubs-Can be fun and can get your mind off of cutting but they can become a problem

Therapy-Okay I have had therapy before I mean it like started when I was in the 1st grade because they thought I was being abused or some shit at home because of a story I wrote...I have no faith in it at all...well it just doesn't do much for me....Besides when I really needed the help my mom wanted to come and listen to what I had to say to the therapist....So I just shut up. The main reason why I cut was because of her...so I wasn't about to tell it to the therapist when it was only going to get back to her...If I wanted to do that I would tell her friends....So I don't trust them...Yet the odd thing is I want to be a psychologist....Crazy I know but I love giving advice even if it isn't exactly useful...>>; I hope I have helped someone from the information I gave.

To answer a question that may have risen...No I did not go with the fad...It actually happend at a point when I was trying to stop...

But, you were still able to stop... right?

Umm just thought i would put this on, its a really good site, and can help with cutting eating disorders n all that.
www.recoveryourlife.com

Yeah I did stop kind of...The urges are there every day but I just remember a promise I made and the guilt I would feel if I did...

I think I saw that site but I didn't linger on it long...

Yea, the guilt work sometimes... thats why i stopped... i actually did break the promise a couple of times... and i seriously couldn't live with myself the first time. so after i broke it the second time... i told him myself, i didn't want him to find out on his own... he was pretty mad and he hung up the phone. but he called later that night and thanked me for actually telling him that time.

he got my like this 14 page packet on cutting and how to stop and alternate ways to cope with things. he got it off this website for teen health... i actually think thats what it's called.
i still have it, i go through it all the time just to remind myself of everything that happened and how much it hurt him

Memorie, if someone said that to me when I used to cut it would have been totally the wrong way to handle it. You might not understand how much more damage you have done to your friend calling her selfish etc. She needs support, not damnation.

I agree

<I still don't get why.>

maybe...
it probably hurts her to know that you would hurt yourself and not confide in her.
or...
ir hurts her to know that you keep doing it and she can't do anything to stop it. she probably waited all that time to see if she could stop you without confronting you. but she was probably really hurt tht you kept doing it and she couldn't change it.
thts part of the reason i started cutting myself... my friend was doing it and i tried to help him. he kept doing it, he wouldn't stop for anyone. i was so hurt. i got so mad at myself that i couldn't change the way he felt or what he did to cope with things at home... tht i started cutting to punish myself. at first it was to punish myself, but then i couldn't go a day without doing it... if i didn't cut myself, i couldn't deal with anything, i tried to stop but i couldn't.
so... i guess what im trying to say is... just really try to stop... for her... you might not know what it's really doing to her.

Well i'm a person that cuts to.. and i never knew how much it hurt the people that love me and care about me.. i never thought that it would hurt my friends... the one thing is all my friends do it to.. i don't get why they are upset and angry that i do it but yet they do it to...

for them they only started about half way through 2006... for me this has been going on for about 5 years ... but not the hole cutting thing tho but i have been in depression for 5 years... i only started cutting when i moved from the place that i used to live at.. when i moved everything just fell apart i lost so much i lost memories friends my hole life and when i moved to the new place it just got worse i started falling deeper into depression... 1 year after living here i started the one thing that i never thought that i would do... one night i just cried and cried and then i got out a blade and slit my wrist.. (i can't say why ) but that night when i did it i cut so deep that it was pooring out blood it drip onto the floor i never knew that i would be that one person to ever do that to myself but all i no is that i need help i have scars and everytime i look at them i almost cry.....

please can anyone help me .. even understand where i am coming from..

if you can, can you give me some ways that i could stop doing this to myself and help me to stop hurting my friends and family

PLEASE HELP ME