Friends With Benefits?!?!

What's your opinion on "Friend's with benefits"...? I honestly hate being chained in a relationship thats just how I am...Hate commitment. So I was wondering what's everyone else's preference? Would you rather have a friend with benefits, or a serious relationship?

Personally, I think friends with benefits is ridioculous. It's basically saying that I want to have the physical half of the relationship but you're not good enough to go out with me. I would much rather have a serious relationship. Maybe that's just me

.:Danielle:.

Your either friends or your seeing each other, in my opinion anyway lol I dont much like the friends with benefits thing.

Ahh, I see

Haha Im assuming you have friends with benefits lol? I have nothing agaisnt people that do hehe I just dont think I could be a friend with benefits or have a friend with benefits, which if all worked out properly, is the same thing...

I really do have a way of making the most easiest things sounds confusing!!

Not friends with benefits, but perhaps a friend...I know many can't be or wouldn't like to be. But I can't be in a relationship...Too much drama, too much living up to expectations you can't fulfill. This way is an easy way to stay out of trouble, and...you can't get hurt or hurt any one else. =/

Oh you can always hurt someone else, just because one of the people might be able to draw that line doesn't mean th eother one will, especially if it is something ongoing. Men can develop feelings just as well as women. One of my best friends was "friends" with someone for 3 years, both of them swore up and down it wouldn't go any further, both of them were wrong and both of them were hurt. Relationships are not supposed to be easy. Everything worth having in life takes work.

I'm it with my ex..hmm and to give you all a clue why?
Just watch charlie angel's 2 and a scene there is that a guy gets out the sea..he really looks like him,understood why? lol

Serious relationship.. Because i have never had one.. well i have had one.. He was a jerk. anywho.. i see everyone else in a serious relationship happy and i want that. Hopefully it will be soon. anyway thats what i think

I'd prefer a relationship. It doesn't have to be filled with drama, if you meet the right person. The whole "friends with benefits" thing just isn't my kind of thing. I'd rather be alone than have that.

Been there done that and it's a recipe for heartbreak. Normally the 'friends with benefits' one person is head over heals in love with the other and the other just wants to get laid.

Seems to me that there would be more "drama" and "expectations to fulfill" if you were physically with someone, without the relationship. I mean, if you're only using each other for your bodies, but there's no close personal connection, then you WILL be judged BY how you use your body. Whereas, if you're will someone who actually cares for you and has a committment to you... well, in the good cases, you wouldn't really be judged at all. You'd just be able to be yourself - not merely a body that's in the right place at the right time.

Makes sense everyone, but "Friends with benefits" is not only physical, its having someone you can count on if anything...but you know you don't have to totally commit to that person.

I understand all your ideas and preferences on relationships, but I'd just rather not be in one...I can't get over my fear of it.

Friends with benefits suck because basically you have no ties and your not in a relationship. But if you don't like being commited to that person thats you decision but he could be doing anything with another girl/guy. I just prefer seriously relationships but thats me.

I quite like it, it means while you're emotionally unavailble you can still have the physical side of things.
i think being hurt by lots of people has made me want weird things out of relationships, it makes me not think i'm good enough to be in a real one so i settle for this second best.

Hmm interesting quetion.....i'm in a serious relationship but sometimes it gets hard for me...i like being with one person but its nice to be byself.

Well Bob, I'm not using him because he doesn't like the idea of relationships either...So technically maybe, he's using me too?

But we understand what we both want...We both know what we hate in a relationship, so we avoid it and make each other happy. If that's using each other...Then we're okay with it, I guess. =)

Espoir*failed, thats exactly how I feel. =D

Hehe, yup!

Friends with benefits HHIISSSSS! I've been there, done that but I didn't know that was all he wanted =P I hate the feeling that I'm good enough to mess around with but not good enough to date =P And who ever said that when it's just friends with benefits your emotions are safe HA I was in love with him but I guess he never saw me as a girl worthy of the title of his girlfriend =P I stuck with it for a little while reasoning that it was better to have him that way then not having him at all but...frankly I hate "friends with benefits" almost as much as "I think we should just be friends" =(
*sigh* I'm sorry about getting so passionate about this lols I don't hold it against anyone who chooses this but theres just a lot of resentment and pain and in the end with the friends and benefits thing...someone normally gets hurts with that
Peace, Rhea

Awww...I'm sorry to hear that Rhea. Wow, I guess I realize ''friends with benefits'' could have a bad flip side too...=(

AAAHH I don't know.

My oppinion on "Friends with benefits" is that i think every friend you have of the opposite sex is a friend with benefits. you can hold hands with a friend. who cares.

Yeah, holding hands.... but do you make out with your "just friends?" Have sex with them? That's where it gets a leeeettle more complicated.

I think with friends with benefits, there are probably a couple possible outcomes:

1. You guys could start out like this & eventually want something a little more serious.
2. You guys continue to be friends with benefits when one person begins to have more serious feelings & wants more, but yet, the other person doesnt & it ruins everything.
3. You're friends with benefits and one of you finally just gets tired of it & wants an actual relationship. Knowing that it'd be too big of a risk to ask the other how they feel, they just walk away from it and persue a relationship elsewhere.

.Kayla.

I think its highly immature. Especially when your with someone but yet they don't want to have the sex thing going on.

Theres always hurting going on in the `friends with benefits`. Either one person starts to fall in love with the friend but yet the other friend hates him/her but she/he is so willingly to do that, so he just acts like he likes her to get 'some'. But when the other friend finds out she/he's going to be burnt to pieces knowing they were used all along. It's simple to say but hard to find the words but I think I did pretty well.

I used to have a friend who's having 'benefits' with her ex boyfriend but dating 2 other guys at the same time and have benefits with atleast one of them. Thats why she's not my friend and with other reaons why also.

If your not mature for a serious relationship then why do you think your mature for 'friends with benefits' because theres going to be more problems with the benefit thing then a serious relationship. Theres always STI's (orginally Sexual transmittied diseases but they're trying to change it to Sexual transmitted infections.) Many are deadly and untreatable. Yet there also many other problems like genital warts and everything else out there. Even with condoms there only 87% protective (i did the research for a health project on pregnancy, condoms&birthcontrol. Yeah I know birth control is 99% effective but theres alwyas that 1% chance that you can get pregnant but it doesn't protect against STI's.

Sorry its so long but this is what I think. Too bad if you don't like it. You asked for my opinon and I gave it to ya.

I do like all of your opinions, and yeah I did ask for them.

My situation won't get that far because I plan on staying a virgin until I get married, its a strict cultural thing...So its more like playing around, and also of course more than just 'friends'...

I understand the complications with this now especially the part where one may fall deep, (which may most likely be me) and the other would never see the person that way.

I guess I like to take life as it goes.

Same here. I'm waiting til I'm married to lose my virginity.

Sometimes its hard to accept being lonely but God always has a reason for making you that way. He made me lonely for about a year, boyfriend or not and now i'm greatly happy because I finally found a boyfriend who accepts me for who I am and we both know the darkest secrets laying neath our skins (secrets}

I'm in a serious relationship and I love my girl so much that I wouldn't replace her though I have a lot of close friends who would be potential partners..
Anyway, all the rest are Best Friends with Benefits.. There's no commitment, we do sweet stuff, but I don't say "I love You"s to them.. But I do have feelings for them too, of course.. But my loyalty surpasses all..

No thanks.

Friends with benefits is great, if one of the guys isnt into "doing anything" you can simply go to another guy and not have to worry about cheating or feeling like a whore.

Well you don't want to hurt him, and you don't want to be hurt, no drama relationship. Well All relationships have drama, even friend's with benefits. Just go out there and hang out with friends, find a guy who makes you their world, not in the creepy stalker way but in the way where he smiles when he sees you happy. That kind of relationship usually has less drama ;) and lasts longer too. Its all about finding the right guy, don't find a guy who obviously isn't going to have a good future with you and be able to support you, cuz that usually leads to drama.

~Zainel

"if one of the guys isnt into "doing anything" you can simply go to another guy and not have to worry about cheating or feeling like a whore"

^ That's not whorish??? What is this world coming to?????

Personally it screams being used to me. They obviously don't care enough about you to want you in any other way except into your pants. They're using you. And you are basically using them for your own selfish means.

IT'S SELFISH

.:Danielle:.

I think "friends with benefits" is a load of rubbish. It's basically saying, "I'm going to use you for sex, okay? I don't care for you at all, I'll never love you, but I will have sex with you."

"Friends with benefits is great, if one of the guys isnt into "doing anything" you can simply go to another guy and not have to worry about cheating or feeling like a whore."

^ I completely disagree. How do you think the guy would feel, knowing that because he doesn't feel comfortable doing something with his loved one, then his other half will just get their satisfaction elsewhere?! If the person really cared about the guy, then they would wait until he was ready to "do stuff", instead of running off to the first person who can give them a bit of fun.

^ Amen

Also. You won't be the only "friend" I'm sure. Who's to say who else your technically sleeping with when you have friends with benefits and what your getting. Hmmm.. something to think about...

.:Danielle:.

Totally true

Yeah, its something to think about...I guess.

I get the drift.

Sure, if sexual acts are not mentally important to you other than immediate satisfaction. Personally, I feel that my body is an incredible gift and something that only one person who has earned my love can share.

Well, i used to have a friend with benefits, and it was great. i was in a relationship when i had the friend with benefits. but i met this guy and i'm really crazy about him. so i called it off with the friend with benefits. because we are really SERIOUS and i know that i can do the same stuff i can do with a friend with benefits with him.

it's mainly up to u though.

OK, OBVIOUSLY you are "friends with benefits" instead of in a relationships with eachother because you both, or one of you, want to stay single and sleep around with others...if that were not the case, and your sexual acts stayed between the two of you, that would signify trust, care, and dedication...you should be in a relationship.

And Dana, you really think sleeping around with a friend while in a relationship with someone else is the right way to go? You are such a role model! You should not have been with that other person if you couldn't stay loyal...better luck with your self-control in the future ;)