Catchy Titles to Catch the Eye ;]

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The Script of Life
By: TheWorldFell&UWerentThere

[The script of life,
Has no words,
Just blank pages sitting in dust,
So why do we stare,
Like it's going to tell us something?]
^^ I like this stanza, all except for the last line of it. It was a very strong stanza but the last line, ending it with a question like that, it just sort of threw me off a bit.

[The metal spiral binds our life,
As all our sins we make,
Seem to write themselves,
Permenant to the pages,
As we continue our days.

And as we go back into our past,
We see the tears dried into our life,
And we always tend to find,
Pictures of the ones we left,
With a letter written from them.]
^^ I LOVE these lines, the description in them is awesome and the imagery you used is perfect for the reader to be able to really see what it is that you are trying to say within your words.

[The script of life,
Holds the smudges of our tears,
And holds the permenant pages of our past,
And the ones we loved and lost,
But it doesn't tell us the words,
To make it better when it turns for the worse,
It doesn't tell us the roads to take,
Nor the people to meet,
But where's the words I need to hear,
When I break back down again?]
^^ I liked this, a lot. The grammar could use just a teensy bit more work. But, the question at the end of this worked compared to the ending one of the first stanza, I liked the ending line.
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Overall, I really liked this poem, I thought it had an interesting take on the title and you did the title justice. Good job. :]
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 7/10 ; 70%
Spelling & Grammar - 9.5/10 ; 95%
Appeal - 9/10 ; 90%
Flow - 9.8/10 ; 98%

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My Patchwork Heart
by EndOfTheBeginning

[Broken too many times to know.
The seam's slowly fading away
Having taken the final blow.
Withering here, my patchwork heart.

Leaving me are my affections,
Once colorful, now turning grey.
I thought we had a connection--
Withering here, my patchwork heart.]
^^ I loved these stanzas, especially the second one...the imagery about the affections turning grey really caught me.

[Left only to speak what is true,
Dying here is a rose bouquet.
It hurts me just to think of you.
Withering here, my patchwork heart.

You ripped to shreds my fragile mind.
To leave me in the dust, astray,
Is something I can't leave behind.
Withering here, my patchwork heart.]
^^ These stanzas were a little off to me, I don`t know. A few of the lines just seemed like they were thrown in there for the sake of needing a line with strong imagery. One line you`re talking about speaking the truth and then you throw in a dying rose bouquet. I don`t know, that just threw me off a bit from this poem.
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Overall, I loved this poem. Kyrielle`s have always caught my attention and I know that they are hard to write with the limitations on the syllable count and whatnot, but you still did a very good job. The only thing I think would be to fix the rhyme scheme, to rhyme with heart, I do believe that would make it a little stronger. However, the final line in each stanza, as the repeating line, needs to be very strong and able to catch someone`s eye, and yours did just that; I loved it. :]
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 8/10 ; 80%
Spelling & Grammar - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Appeal - 9.5/10 ; 95%
Flow - 10/10 ; 100%

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*Roses Are Dead*
By:LostRavyn

Sweet lovehas abandoned me
And taken all
Of it's symbolism with it.
No more flowers
To tuck behind your ear.
Your lovely face
Has grown grotesque
As the pain starts to show.
No more whispers of love,
Or dreams of your beauty.
You have left me alone,
Drowning in my insanity.
Love has fled
And with it has gone the roses.

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Overall, I felt like the lines could have been a little longer so that you could add more description into them to help the reader out a little bit more. They`re really short as they stand now and almost all of them are carry-on`s to the next line...which, if the whole poem is made up of carry-on sentences, it gets really hard for the reader to follow.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 6.8/10 ; 68%
Spelling & Grammar - 9/10 ; 90%
Appeal - 7/10 ; 70%
Flow - 9.6/10 ; 96%

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*Lacking Wings*
By:LostRavyn

[This raven is grounded.
This faerie has lost her soul,
her will to fly.
She's taken off the mask.
Let her face show
and kissed the world goodbye.
Nothing lies with her now.]
^^ I couldn`t follow along with these lines, you started off talking about a raven and left one line to describe that before you threw in the aspect of a fairy. You need to use more description...where you can follow as you are the writer, the reader may find it very difficult to follow what you are trying to put across.

[This raven is crying.
This faerie is learning pain,
learning of tears.
She's taken to the dark.
Letting the cold take over,
she's been dead for years.
Nothing flies with her now.

For she is lacking wings.]
^^ She`s been dead for years but she`s only NOW learning of pain? This stanza doesn`t all add up. This is again, another time when you really need to use more description.
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Overall, I found it really hard to follow, you threw things in and your imagery didn`t add up, just spend a little more time trying to make the decriptions more clear.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 6/10 ; 60%
Spelling & Grammar - 9/10 ; 90%
Appeal - 6.7/10 ; 67%
Flow - 9.8/10 ; 98%

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Hello, My Name is Distance.
By:Teria

[Hello, My name is distance
I come from far away.
I live within your dreams,
the ones that fade day by day.

I've come to take you back,
back to where you were.
I think I've finally found the
perfect, perfect cure.]
^^ I liked these lines, except for the last one, with the carry-on it made it difficult.

[You're sitting all alone,
depressed in every way.
just letting your tomorrows
pass by each and every day.

I'm here to make it better,
to bring you back to reality.
You're slipping from the grip
that only I can really see.

You're fall far behind the rest,
beating around the bush.
Boy, you're doing it all wrong,
I'm here to give you a push.]
^^ I LOVED the first two stanzas, but the last one, however, felt a little off. The first line to me didn`t make sense at all, which threw it off for the rest of the lines.

[Hello, My name is distance.
I've come from far away,
I live within your dreams
the ones that fade day by day..]
^^ I liked the repeating of this stanza, puts your point across better.
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Overall, I liked it. Your descriptions were pretty good, there were just a few things that threw me off.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 7.5/10 ; 75%
Spelling & Grammar - 10/10 ; 100%
Appeal - 9.3/10 ; 93%
Flow - 10/10 ; 100%

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The Tresures Of The Heart
By:TheWorlFellNUWerentThere

[Family,
The treasures of the heart,
Their the ones who,
Will always be there.

Friends,
The treasures of the heart,
The ones who you can go to,
And whisper all your secrets to them.

Lovers,
The treasures of the heart,
The one's who'll teach you to love,
And soon to hate.]
^^ Cliche, cliche, cliche. These stanzas were very cliched. And the last one, 'and soon to hate', really threw me off. Although true in many cases, it is not true for all of them.

[Nature,
The treasures of the heart,
Spend a day in nature,
You'll truly find yourself.

Music,
The treasures of the heart,
Different kinds and different sounds,
Funny how they all come to find us.

Technology,
The treasures of the heart,
Some refuse to love the technology world,
And many of us cannot live without it.

Pictures and memories,
The treasures of the heart,
It's funny how,
They're worth crying for.

Imagination,
The treasures of the heart,
Fantasy seems to be the best part,
Of a crappy day.

Poetry,
The treasures of the heart,
It seems to be the best way,
To tell how we feel inside.]
^^ I liked them, but they need a little more description.
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Overall, this poem seemed a little off to me. I feel like you could have taken out the 'treasures of the heart' line from every stanza and just left it for one line at the beginning or the end, that way...it gives you an extra line in each stanza to add a little more description.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 5.5/10 ; 55%
Spelling & Grammar - 10/10 ; 100%
Appeal - 6.2/10 ; 62%
Flow - 9.1/10 ; 91%

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Hello, My Name is Distance {Trijan Refrain}
by SecludedSerendipity

[Don't come too close, or I may snap;
My heart in somewhat weak.
I always thought I'd miss the trap,
Yet now my life is bleak.
They ruined my world so profoundly,
No longer do I sleep soundly.
--They ruined my life,
--They ruined my life,
And walked away so proudly.]
^^ The first line really pulled me in right off the bat, but a few lines later, I was thrown off just a little. There was something about the trap part, you just threw it in there.
[I'll only say hello, if you
Make a promise right here:
Do not hurt me, always stay true,
Or else I'll flow my tears.
Don't break me down, don't drown me;
I'm a fragile thing, you will see.
--Don't break me down,
--Don't break me down,
Only one click will make me flee.]
^^ Hmm, I liked the first few lines, but again, the middle lines really threw me off. 'I`ll flow my tears' -- something about that line just really didn`t stand out to me.

[So let me introduce myself:
People call me "Distance",
Not a toy lying on a shelf,
I'm a real existence.
I need some loving from someone,
A boy who will bring back the sun.
--I need some love,
--I need some love,
So please, I do not want to run.]
^^ I liked this stanza, especially the first lines, they really pulled me in.

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Overall, this was a very interesting poem. There were only a few things I could think of that need a little more work.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 7.3/10 ; 73%
Spelling & Grammar - 10/10 ; 100%
Appeal - 8.2/10 ; 82%
Flow - 10/10 ; 100%
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Broken Flowers
By: Emma

[Shattered in the storms,
Heart was sure to break,
Love lost in the lust,
Emotions born to fake,

Tears in the distance,
Another waking lie,
Broken flowers dying,
As the world starts to cry,]
^^ LOVE these stanzas. Wow, they really pulled me in. The lines were really short but held enough description that the reader can understand what it being said.

[All is lost in death,
As they fall away,
My eyes always shimmer,
But they are here to stay,

The velvet on my pillow,
My body clothed and clean,
My wooden house of rest,
And the end of the obscene.]
^^ I liked these lines as well, especially the first stanza. The last stanza just didn`t stand out to me as the others had.
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Overall, I loved this poem. It stood out to me, but the last stanza I felt could have been a little bit stronger. The ending lines was just kind of thrown in there, seemed almost just for a rhyme.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Spelling & Grammar - 10/10 ; 100%
Appeal - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Flow - 9.7/10 ; 97%
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Beautiful Liar
By: Charisma*

[I know he's got someone
But he's looking over here
Walking slowly, making way
To sweet talk my listening ear

He doesn't hide the truth of her
And he doesn't make a move
But just so slyly I can see
The want of doing so shine through

He tells me things about himself
And I find I'm falling in love
What intentions could we have.
There's none I can think of.]
^^ I love these lines, they pulled me into the story that you are telling and they were carefully worded so that they are perfect the way that they are.

[He's such a beautiful liar
He made such a wonderful play.
I fell for his charming desire
But was smart, and walked away.

He can see that in my eyes
I'm hiding what I want from him.
I know that if she were here
This wouldn't, shouldn't happen.]
^^ Love this, you threw in the title perfectly there and it fit right.

[So I tell him I'm cool with friends.
I don't have any ulterior desires.
To save her heart, I broke my own
By becoming a beautiful liar.]
^^ loveloveLOVE this stanza. Perfect ending stanza, you never seize to amaze me with your poetry.
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Overall, I felt this is one of the best poems that I have read from you so far, you always have a way with the words that you write, great job Darling. :]
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 10/10 ; 100%
Spelling & Grammar - 10/10 ; 100%
Appeal - 10/10 ; 100%
Flow - 9.9/10 ; 99%
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Broken Flowers
By:Terra

[Sitting upon her rusted swing set
She looks at her forget me not
Caressing the lavender-blue petals
Her tears fall upon the ancient green leaf

"Remember when it was you and me
When things were not of tears and pain
With me plucking these petals one by one
Deciphering if you love me or not"

A picture torn down the middle
With only a hand to show there was another
She stares upon his great empty space
As she whispers her pain of what he has done.]
^^ Loved these lines, the imagery in them really pulled me in.

["You were my super man, I was your angel
Together we made such a perfect pair
But now I am here, upon this swing
In which you and me used to play around"

With her old tree house to her left,
And the sun setting to her right
She looks down at the forget me not
And she slips away into bliss]
^^ LOVE these, the quotes really help bring this poem together I feel, and the ending of this poem fit perfectly the way that you have it.

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Overall, I loved this poem, best I`ve read from you for some time now. :]
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 9.6/10 ; 96%
Spelling & Grammar - 9/10 ; 90%
Appeal - 9.4/10 ; 94%
Flow - 9.6/10 ; 96%
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Hello, my name is distance (call me a cynic baby)
By: Espoir*failed

[Nothing's built to last
And nothing stays the same,
You can call me a cynic baby,
But that's my middle name.
You told me not to feel the flame,
But the desire was, oh, too much.
There's only so much "look but don't touch"
A girl can take.
And I want not only to have my cake and eat it,
I want yours as well.
Don't you know?
I got hurt last time, and I'm not prepared to risk it again,
Call me a cynic baby,
But that's my middle name.]
^^ LOVED these lines, you`ve always had a way with words that gets inside my head and stays there playing out even after I`m finished reading them.

[I only speak the truth, and we all know that hurts sometimes,
(always.)
Like those "secrets" you spread with a poison,
And rub it in like some dirty mixture.
Or the friends that you hate, whilst
I was always ahead,
You were always one step too late.

And do you remember me?
I think my name was distance.
But it got lost along the way // maybe I lost myself //
You were a ladder I used to get higher,
I was a snake that only got you worse.
And we're back to this analogy of fire,
It's so overused, but so are you.
I played you like a game,
You can call me a cynic baby,
But that's my middle name.]
^^ I don`t know how you do it, your poetry is amazing. Always so unique with every poem written.
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Overall, I was amazed by this poem, not a surprise since it came from you...but this poem really stood out to me..I quite enjoyed reading it. The use of the cynic and the symbolism that you used just really worked for you in showing off your talent. Never underestimate how amazing your poetry is. :]
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Spelling & Grammar - 9.9/10 ; 99%
Appeal - 10/10 ; 100%
Flow - 9.3/10 ; 93%

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Synthetic -
By:Jordan

[Synthetic tears fall from a porcelain eyes,
Fallen angel; broken and shattered; her disguise.]
^^ I LOVED these lines, I feel that if you used a little bit of different grammar for the last line, it would have been stronger. Instead of 'Fallen angel; broken and shattered; her disguise.' maybe try 'Fallen angel -- broken; and shattered her diguise' ...something like that. The grammar is just off in that line.

[Synthetic smiles plastered upon her face,
While inside her heart, in stitches, it is laced.

Synthetic happiness is displayed from her mouth,
She speaks clearly, so clearly now.

Synthetic lips, they spill drunken words,
For every secret she left untold, tonight, she is finally heard.]

^^ I loved these lines, but again, just the grammar issue.

[Porcelain angels line the newly trimmed grass,
This fallen angel, well, it seems she didn't pass.

Synthetic tears, they fall from porcelain eyes,
This fallen angel, this was her disguise.]

^^ I loved this, it was a great ending to this poem.

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Overall, I really liked this poem. There was just the grammar issue that really got me. Grammar is one thing that can really effect the way that a poem is read and interpreted.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Spelling & Grammar - 8/10 ; 80%
Appeal - 8.5/10 ; 85%
Flow - 9.2/10 ; 92%

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Broken Flowers
By:Bryan

[She sits, waiting up for him all night long,
listening to the radio playing sweet sad songs.

Supposed to be home, he has been off for hours.
while she sit in the chair, holding broken flowers.

He promised her he stopped cheating, but thats a lie,
when he comes home he will tell her fake alibis.

Had to work late, theres no other woman besides her,
but she reminisces back to that day last December.]
^^ I love these lines, but the first line of the final stanza should be in quotes...it is a quote that he said, right? I feel it would be stronger and would help tie it together with quotes.

[When she found what he had done while he was out,
she knows thats what he is doing now, theres no doubt.

She has had enough, so she goes to pack her things
only leaving a note, laying under her wedding ring

He bought her a dozen roses, but they will go sour,
when she leaves him there, holding broken flowers.]

^^ I LOVE these lines, a perfect ending to this poem; the imagery in this poem was just remarkable Sweetie, I can not express how great the imagery is.
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Overall, I loved this poem. There was just some grammar that needs to be fixed. Just a few words where the apostrophe is missing.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Spelling & Grammar - 9.4/10 ; 94%
Appeal - 10/10 ; 100%
Flow - 10/10 ; 100%
By:Bryan
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Roses Are Dead
By:Bryan

[A Beautiful girl, heart broken in two,
lost in love, not knowing what to do.
Locked in her room, here she writes,
poems of sorrow, sadly they recite.

"If roses are dead, then violets aren't true,
how could you hurt me the way you do.
Acting like you loved me, here I'm broken,
hurt by the words that you left unspoken."]
^^ LOVE these, the quote really stuck in my head.

[These words sink in, shes left depressed,
holding in her feelings, there left suppressed.
She writes endlessly, all through the night,
releasing the anger these words she writes.

"How can my love slowly turn to this hate,
destroy my happiness, this cant be my fate,
To live my life not able to hold on to you,
these roses are dead, and violets aren't true."

She leave this poem laying at his door,
hoping he will read it as the ones before.
But this ones special, it will stick in his head,
In big letters she writes "Roses Are Dead."]
^^ You amaze me, I`m speechless... [and you know how hard it is to stop me from talking most of the time..]
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Overall, this is amazing, the imagery..the flow -- everything.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 100/10 ; 100%
Spelling & Grammar - 8/10 ; 80%
Appeal - 100/10 ; 100%
Flow - 100/10 ; 100%

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The Lies Of a Smile
By:Britt

[Torturing your own twisted reality
Havoc wreaked beyond your control
Entire world - up in smokes.

Lies of a smile, what a pretty face
Indecisive eyes telling a tale
Eventual stories crashing down
Sweet words roll off your lips

Obtain your ideas, thoughts, fears
Face your demons, hide behind the smile]

^^ LOVE these lines, I dunno how you do it, I really don`t lol.

[A quick reassurance of perfection.

Surrendering to the pain, false predictions
Making the world seem a better place
Ideal forevers now included
Lying to one, yourself, the whole
Even you cannot tell the difference.]

^^ LOVE these, it was a perfect ending.
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Overall, I LOVED this. I don`t know how you can always make an acrostic so strong, but you always do.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 10/10 ; 100%
Spelling & Grammar - 9.9/10 ; 99%
Appeal - 10/10 ; 100%
Flow - 9.6/10 ; 96%

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My Patchwork Heart
by SecludedSerendipity

[It's been stitched in the left corner, zipped up in the right.
My patchwork heart has finally ceased to beat,
It had to finally give in to the pain, admitted defeat.
No longer could it handle all those dark and lonely nights.

It was vulgar, disgusting, an extreme and sorry sight,
The day you left me lying on the ground, holding onto your feet.
It's been stitched in the left corner, zipped up in the right,
My patchwork heart has finally ceased to beat.]

^^ LOVE these lines, they really stood out to me. The imagery was perfect, as was the wording.

[No longer could I keep it up, I had long ago lost the fight;
It's time for me to get out of the fire, I can no longer brave the heat,
I am now the only person who can make my life complete.
Now my heart is broken, damaged with all the fright,
It's been stitched in the left corner, zipped up in the right.]

^^ I loved these lines as well, but I felt like it wasn`t as strong as the other two when it should be the strongest.

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Overall, this poem was really good. Your imagery was amazing once again and you really pulled me into it.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Spelling & Grammar - 10/10 ; 100%
Appeal - 9.4/10 ; 94%
Flow - 9.6/10 ; 96%

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Lacking Wings
By: Josie
[There was an accident, Mom -
I was hit by some punk.
They say he had been
Completely and utterly drunk.

He ran a red-light
And hit me from behind.
This pain is unbearable, Mom -
I've never felt pain of this kind.

Laying in the back of the ambulance,
I can't stop crying.
I know because of him,
I am slowly dying.

Now at the hospital
The doctors whisper, looking grim.
Mom, I'm dying,
My eyes are growing dim.]
^^ The imagery is amazing so far, you`ve already really pulled me in.

[I'll be in Heaven soon,
Standing at the Pearly Gates.
Up there, there is no pain,
No feelings of hate.

But don't worry,
Cease your crying.
I'll be angel,
And I'll soon been flying.

I see the light now,
And I hear the angels sing.
There's just one thing missing, Mom,
I'm lacking wings.]

^^ Love these lines, there were just a few parts that I think you could have read over where the wording is a little iffy. Other than that, these lines were great.
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Overall, I really liked this poem. Drinking and driving is one topic that`s always touched me, I hate people that are so ignorant they can`t call a friend or a cab and risk the chance of ending others lives. This poem really got to me.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Spelling & Grammar - 8/10 ; 80%
Appeal - 9/10 ; 90%
Flow - 9.2/10 ; 92%

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Xx Roses Are Dead xX
By: *Gem*

[Violets are blue and roses are red
But what do you do when the flowers are dead?
Deep ruby petals turned to filemot
Viridian leaves have all started to rot

Light coral pinks and dark cornflower blues
Dark olive greens and some pale honeydews
All of them wilted, misplacing their shine
Losing the battle and race against time]
^^ I loved these lines, they really pulled me in...the imagery was very strong and flow was pretty good.

[They wither and fall, drifting to the floor
The beautiful colours are now nevermore
Floating to the ground in a pile so neat
The signal the end of a life pure and sweet]
^^ LOVE these lines, perfect ending.

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Overall, this poem was great...the imagery was strong and the wording helped to tie it in.
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Each multiplied by 10 to make it out of 100

Content - 9.8/10 ; 98%
Spelling & Grammar - 8/10 ; 80%
Appeal - 9.4/10 ; 94%
Flow - 9.8/10 ; 98%

**WINNERS AT BOTTOM**

Hm, seems good babe, ill take Broken Flowers
and
Roses Are Dead

I would like "Follow Your Own Star", please.
:]

Beautiful liar!
Charisma*

"13. Hello, My Name is Distance"
Please. :]

Can I have Roses are Dead and Lacking Wings please?

Mmm.. well you should have guessed ....

Broken Flowers Please. :)

now you need to make sure i am working on it. lol :) remmind me on msn when you read this so i start

I would love to try 'lacking wings'

thanx

The Script Of Our Life

please&thankyou

I was just wondering if I could change it to The Script of Life?

The script of life,
Has no words,
Just blank pages sitting in dust,
So why do we stare,
Like it's going to tell us something?

The metal spiral binds our life,
As all our sins we make,
Seem to write themselves,
Permenant to the pages,
As we continue our days.

And as we go back into our past,
We see the tears dried into our life,
And we always tend to find,
Pictures of the ones we left,
With a letter written from them.

The script of life,
Holds the smudges of our tears,
And holds the permenant pages of our past,
And the ones we loved and lost,
But it doesn't tell us the words,
To make it better when it turns for the worse,
It doesn't tell us the roads to take,
Nor the people to meet,
But where's the words I need to hear,
When I break back down again?

-TheWorldFell&UWerentThere

Broken Flowers please

09. The Lies of a Smile Please :)

Shattered beauty please!

Hey i am so happy, two of those are my titles, my patchwork heart and the lies of a smile, YAY!!!
anyway, could i please reserve, hello my name is distance, thanks a lot (love this title)

xxx

*Roses Are Dead*

Sweet lovehas abandoned me
And taken all
Of it's symbolism with it.
No more flowers
To tuck behind your ear.
Your lovely face
Has grown grotesque
As the pain starts to show.
No more whispers of love,
Or dreams of your beauty.
You have left me alone,
Drowning in my insanity.
Love has fled
And with it has gone the roses.

*Lacking Wings*

This raven is grounded.
This faerie has lost her soul,
her will to fly.
She's taken off the mask.
Let her face show
and kissed the world goodbye.
Nothing lies with her now.

This raven is crying.
This faerie is learning pain,
learning of tears.
She's taken to the dark.
Letting the cold take over,
she's been dead for years.
Nothing flies with her now.

For she is lacking wings.

I love, like, all those titles! Could I do one for each? =P Haha, just kidding.

I'll take "Hello, My Name is Distance" and "My Patchwork Heart", please and thanks. :]

Hello, My Name is Distance.

Hello, My name is distance
I come from far away.
I live within your dreams,
the ones that fade day by day.

I've come to take you back,
back to where you were.
I think I've finally found the
perfect, perfect cure.

You're sitting all alone,
depressed in every way.
just letting your tomorrows
pass by each and every day.

I'm here to make it better,
to bring you back to reality.
You're slipping from the grip
that only I can really see.

You're fall far behind the rest,
beating around the bush.
Boy, you're doing it all wrong,
I'm here to give you a push.

Hello, My name is distance.
I've come from far away,
I live within your dreams
the ones that fade day by day..

I want to do

- The Treasures Of The Heart

I got a good start on it.

Please&thank-you.

The Tresures Of The Heart

Family,
The treasures of the heart,
Their the ones who,
Will always be there.

Friends,
The treasures of the heart,
The ones who you can go to,
And whisper all your secrets to them.

Lovers,
The treasures of the heart,
The one's who'll teach you to love,
And soon to hate.

Nature,
The treasures of the heart,
Spend a day in nature,
You'll truly find yourself.

Music,
The treasures of the heart,
Different kinds and different sounds,
Funny how they all come to find us.

Technology,
The treasures of the heart,
Some refuse to love the technology world,
And many of us cannot live without it.

Pictures and memories,
The treasures of the heart,
It's funny how,
They're worth crying for.

Imagination,
The treasures of the heart,
Fantasy seems to be the best part,
Of a crappy day.

Poetry,
The treasures of the heart,
It seems to be the best way,
To tell how we feel inside.

Hello, My Name is Distance {Trijan Refrain}
by SecludedSerendipity

Don't come too close, or I may snap;
My heart in somewhat weak.
I always thought I'd miss the trap,
Yet now my life is bleak.
They ruined my world so profoundly,
No longer do I sleep soundly.
--They ruined my life,
--They ruined my life,
And walked away so proudly.

I'll only say hello, if you
Make a promise right here:
Do not hurt me, always stay true,
Or else I'll flow my tears.
Don't break me down, don't drown me;
I'm a fragile thing, you will see.
--Don't break me down,
--Don't break me down,
Only one click will make me flee.

So let me introduce myself:
People call me "Distance",
Not a toy lying on a shelf,
I'm a real existence.
I need some loving from someone,
A boy who will bring back the sun.
--I need some love,
--I need some love,
So please, I do not want to run.

````````````````````````````````````````````
The Trijan Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of three 9-line stanzas, for a total of 27 lines.
Line 1 is the same in all three stanzas, although a variation of the form is not to repeat the same line
at the beginning of each stanza. In other words, the beginning line of each stanza can be different.
The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8.
The Trijan Refrain is a rhyming poem with a set meter and rhyme scheme as follows:

Rhyme scheme: a/b/a/b/c/c/d,d refrain of first 4 words of line five /c

Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4,4 refrain/8

````````````````````````````````````````````

My apologies, but I need to unreserve. I just cannot seem to think of anything for this.

Broken Flowers

Shattered in the storms,
Heart was sure to break,
Love lost in the lust,
Emotions born to fake,

Tears in the distance,
Another waking lie,
Broken flowers dying,
As the world starts to cry,

All is lost in death,
As they fall away,
My eyes always shimmer,
But they are here to stay,

The velvet on my pillow,
My body clothed and clean,
My wooden house of rest,
And the end of the obscene.

Beautiful Liar
By: Charisma*

I know he's got someone
But he's looking over here
Walking slowly, making way
To sweet talk my listening ear

He doesn't hide the truth of her
And he doesn't make a move
But just so slyly I can see
The want of doing so shine through

He tells me things about himself
And I find I'm falling in love
What intentions could we have.
There's none I can think of.

He's such a beautiful liar
He made such a wonderful play.
I fell for his charming desire
But was smart, and walked away.

He can see that in my eyes
I'm hiding what I want from him.
I know that if she were here
This wouldn't, shouldn't happen.

So I tell him I'm cool with friends.
I don't have any ulterior desires.
To save her heart, I broke my own
By becoming a beautiful liar.

Broken Flowers

Sitting upon her rusted swing set
She looks at her forget me not
Caressing the lavender-blue petals
Her tears fall upon the ancient green leaf

"Remember when it was you and me
When things were not of tears and pain
With me plucking these petals one by one
Deciphering if you love me or not"

A picture torn down the middle
With only a hand to show there was another
She stares upon his great empty space
As she whispers her pain of what he has done.

"You were my super man, I was your angel
Together we made such a perfect pair
But now I am here, upon this swing
In which you and me used to play around"

With her old tree house to her left,
And the sun setting to her right
She looks down at the forget me not
And she slips away into bliss

Lacking Wings, please...

Thanks

Josie

I hope you don't mind, i changed the title to

Hello, my name is distance (call me a cynic baby)

Nothing's built to last
And nothing stays the same,
You can call me a cynic baby,
But that's my middle name.
You told me not to feel the flame,
But the desire was, oh, too much.
There's only so much "look but don't touch"
A girl can take.
And I want not only to have my cake and eat it,
I want yours as well.
Don't you know?
I got hurt last time, and I'm not prepared to risk it again,
Call me a cynic baby,
But that's my middle name.

I only speak the truth, and we all know that hurts sometimes,
(always.)
Like those "secrets" you spread with a poison,
And rub it in like some dirty mixture.
Or the friends that you hate, whilst
I was always ahead,
You were always one step too late.

And do you remember me?
I think my name was distance.
But it got lost along the way // maybe I lost myself //
You were a ladder I used to get higher,
I was a snake that only got you worse.
And we're back to this analogy of fire,
It's so overused, but so are you.
I played you like a game,
You can call me a cynic baby,
But that's my middle name.

Broken Flowers

She sits, waiting up for him all night long,
listening to the radio playing sweet sad songs.

Supposed to be home, he has been off for hours.
while she sit in the chair, holding broken flowers.

He promised her he stopped cheating, but thats a lie,
when he comes home he will tell her fake alibis.

Had to work late, theres no other woman besides her,
but she reminisces back to that day last December.

When she found what he had done while he was out,
she knows thats what he is doing now, theres no doubt.

She has had enough, so she goes to pack her things
only leaving a note, laying under her wedding ring

He bought her a dozen roses, but they will go sour,
when she leaves him there, holding broken flowers.

Roses Are Dead

A Beautiful girl, heart broken in two,
lost in love, not knowing what to do.
Locked in her room, here she writes,
poems of sorrow, sadly they recite.

"If roses are dead, then violets aren't true,
how could you hurt me the way you do.
Acting like you loved me, here I'm broken,
hurt by the words that you left unspoken."

These words sink in, shes left depressed,
holding in her feelings, there left suppressed.
She writes endlessly, all through the night,
releasing the anger these words she writes.

"How can my love slowly turn to this hate,
destroy my happiness, this cant be my fate,
To live my life not able to hold on to you,
these roses are dead, and violets aren't true."

She leave this poem laying at his door,
hoping he will read it as the ones before.
But this ones special, it will stick in his head,
In big letters she writes "Roses Are Dead."

My Patchwork Heart {Monorhyme Rondel}
by SecludedSerendipity

It's been stitched in the left corner, zipped up in the right.
My patchwork heart has finally ceased to beat,
It had to finally give in to the pain, admitted defeat.
No longer could it handle all those dark and lonely nights.

It was vulgar, disgusting, an extreme and sorry sight,
The day you left me lying on the ground, holding onto your feet.
It's been stitched in the left corner, zipped up in the right,
My patchwork heart has finally ceased to beat.

No longer could I keep it up, I had long ago lost the fight;
It's time for me to get out of the fire, I can no longer brave the heat,
I am now the only person who can make my life complete.
Now my heart is broken, damaged with all the fright,
It's been stitched in the left corner, zipped up in the right.

````````````
A monorhyme rondel is a French form consisting of 13 lines: two quatrains and a quintet, rhyming as follows:
ABba abAB abbaA. The capital letters are the refrains, or repeats.

There was an accident, Mom -
I was hit by some punk.
They say he had been
Completely and utterly drunk.

He ran a red-light
And hit me from behind.
This pain is unbearable, Mom -
I've never felt pain of this kind.

Laying in the back of the ambulance,
I can't stop crying.
I know because of him,
I am slowly dying.

Now at the hospital
The doctors whisper, looking grim.
Mom, I'm dying,
My eyes are growing dim.

I'll be in Heaven soon,
Standing at the Pearly Gates.
Up there, there is no pain,
No feelings of hate.

But don't worry,
Cease your crying.
I'll be angel,
And I'll soon been flying.

I see the light now,
And I hear the angels sing.
There's just one thing missing, Mom,
I'm lacking wings.

Josie
Copyright©JosieWentzel01July2007

Roses are dead please

Xx Roses Are Dead xX

Violets are blue and roses are red
But what do you do when the flowers are dead?
Deep ruby petals turned to filemot
Viridian leaves have all started to rot

Light coral pinks and dark cornflower blues
Dark olive greens and some pale honeydews
All of them wilted, misplacing their shine
Losing the battle and race against time

They wither and fall, drifting to the floor
The beautiful colours are now nevermore
Floating to the ground in a pile so neat
The signal the end of a life pure and sweet

*Gem*
Copyright©GemmaStott2007

(I have writers block so sorry it's so short...)

I have to unreserve... nothing is coming to me...
sorry

Editt*** haha oops. forgot this contest was over on the 8th

Is this over then?

Yes,
I will close it.
But will give the reserves time.
I will send PM's;
But I am gone from tonight until Monday
and I work all week
and then Saturday I get time off.
So I can judge all my contests then :D

Any chance that you're still gonna judge this Jen?

Yeah, it`s still on my list. Was actually
gonna do it last night but my
History homework ended up taking
me nearly three hours, >.< . I
will get to it this weekend. :]

First - Bryan with Roses Are Dead [10]
Second - Espoir*failed [5]
Third - Charisma [3]
HM - SecludedSerendipity with My Patchwork Heart [2]
HM - Britt [2]

PM me your titles you want done, please.
:]