20 year old guy

I met this guy and he is 20 and im only 15 i dont like him or anything he is just like a brother figure to me and i love him like a brother.. my mom found out and wont let me talk to him or anything because she said it looks wrong it makes me so mad that just because he is older it has to be made into a huge deal and i cant even speak to him... this is so unfare right.. how can i convince my mom to let me talk to my ' big brother"

Why does everyone think like that.. not every person in the world is like that.. i mean he helps me and is there forme.. he has never done anything to me to show any kind of sign that he is like that.. why cant we just stay close without anyone thinking its wrong

People think like that because it has been proven to be true countless times, Dear. People speak from experience and from what they know; if that's what they have experienced or what they know, they are going to speak it.

Anyways, as for the guy...you may think of him as a "big brother" But how does he think of you? Have you ever asked him what his intentions with you are?

Age is just a number. I myself don't believe that two people should be pulled away because of age, but your mother is going to worry about you, especially with a guy that age...most still are not mature at that age.

But, good luck.
:]

Hes not buttering me up i know him and have known him for a while if he was gonna do anything he would have done it by now... and yes its has been proven with most people but he is not most people and those people have not experienced what i have with him... he thinks of he as his own and treats me with respect.. a very close friend.. like with guys my own age that do that no one cares but just cause he is a few years older.. how does that make any diference?

Hun, sorry to say...but guys will take the time to butter a girl up sometimes. I am NOT saying he is doing it to get in your pants; I don't know the situation fully enough to make that presumption. But, be careful with what you do around him.

Im sorry if i sound defensive and all but it just bothers me that everything in the world has to be that way.. why cant there be some good people who dont always want the perverted things in life.. is it that hard to believe that there are good people out there

and yes i know my mother cares about me and i am very lucky but i just want to show her what im trying to show you.. that there are good people in the world and that you dont always have to expect the worst from the situation your in

Ya i know it looks wierd when someone my age talks to an older guy and that it may seem wierd but things arnt alwasy as they seem

Five years is not that great a gap, if you were 18 and he was 23. In that context it wouldn't raise peoples eyebrows as such.

Now imagine you being a girl aged 14.......going out with a nine year old boy (again five years). What do you think his parents would be thinking.

I'm 33 and couldn't be more in love, shes 24. I have some major health issues otherwise there would be nothing in this world that would stop me from being with her. ( my feeling prevent me from ruining her life) but a gap of nine years wouldn't.

Hope thats been a help.

'Age is just a number' is one huge contradiction. Leave him alone, one day you'll see why your mum was right.

Yes, to answer your quetion it is hard to believe that theres good people in the world ^_^ Life isn't fair and never has been and believe me, it's not likely to become fair all of a sudden over night just because you want it to.

Ok, I've hung out with guys much older then me my whole life since my siblings are much older then me but yes it conserns my mother once in a while which is why I tell her about the people I hang out so she knows most of whats going on if there is a problam ^_^ Thats just being smart.

Yes, most of the time if a guy around that age is taking a special interest in a girl so much younger then I'd be very conserned also ^_^ The world isn't a nice, safe place where you can trust everyone that shows that they care about you =P

You have to make your own choices but we just don't want you to have to learn the hard way and get hurt ^_^ The percentages of it being innocent are way against you I'm afraid =P

I hope you think things out and stay safe ^_^
Rhea

Thankx to some of you who had something encouraging to say to me it was nice to know someone doesnt think that this will end up with me pregnant or in a ditch or something way over the edge

You should be listening to all those people who are concerned about this situation. It's not natural for a 20 year old to want to get involved with a 15 year old. Don't take it as a personal attack that they don't think this guy has the best intentions. It is very, very likely that he doesn't, and it would be in your best interest to take the advice of the people who don't support you hanging around this guy.

Take care of yourself, and good luck with whatever you choose to do.

^ You asked our opinions and you got them. So sorry that we didn't answer with blessings for your future bastard child. Just if anything, be careful around him. We know that he's trouble because we're old enough to have seen this kind of stuff happen and because we have experience.

All in all, just grow to see if he is actually the nice guy or just a perv. It's really all on your shoulders, so all I can say is I hope you just have fun with him and not in any way that could be in a wrong way.

Ok, I understand that you trust this guy but like I said before we just don't want to see you get hurt like so many before you ^_^

I'm 17 and I know that I haven't seen all that much of the world but I have seen a lot of the darker, more painful side of the world and made it my mission to keep as many children from having to live through that kind of stuff or see it as I can ^_^

When I'm hanging out with a lot of the older guys I know I'm well aware that I have to be careful because I know what their thinking for time to time =P I completely agree with Bob on this ^_^

My now ex-boyfriend *turning 18 in October* dumped me for a almost 15 year old, now I ask you this...why do you think he did that? I told him that I wasn't ready to go all the way and I guess he wasn't ready to wait =P Thats how this world works and I know it's normal for young kids to think that they know everything, I was really young once also before I was forced to grow up, but believe me when your young you can get twice as hurt because you haven't learned to watch for the signs and you think you can tell the difference =(

You have to make your own choices and live with what you choose but think things out carefully, hard as it may be for you to believe your mom may be right to be worried ^_^ Just think things out because what you do now you have to live with for the rest of your life ^_^
Rhea

Ok, I understand that you trust this guy but like I said before we just don't want to see you get hurt like so many before you ^_^

I'm 17 and I know that I haven't seen all that much of the world but I have seen a lot of the darker, more painful side of the world and made it my mission to keep as many children from having to live through that kind of stuff or see it as I can ^_^

When I'm hanging out with a lot of the older guys I know I'm well aware that I have to be careful because I know what their thinking for time to time =P I completely agree with Bob on this ^_^

My now ex-boyfriend *turning 18 in October* dumped me for a almost 15 year old, now I ask you this...why do you think he did that? I told him that I wasn't ready to go all the way and I guess he wasn't ready to wait =P Thats how this world works and I know it's normal for young kids to think that they know everything, I was really young once also before I was forced to grow up, but believe me when your young you can get twice as hurt because you haven't learned to watch for the signs and you think you can tell the difference =(

You have to make your own choices and live with what you choose but think things out carefully, hard as it may be for you to believe your mom may be right to be worried ^_^ Just think things out because what you do now you have to live with for the rest of your life ^_^
Rhea

Okay, I haven't read everyone's posts, so I could be repeating, but here goes:

Your mother is worried about you . Can you blame her ? I mean, the guy's basically a what, junior in college and you're like a sophmore in high school ? Deary, you can understand why people would look at that and grimace .
People are telling you what's been proven . Can you blame them ? I'm best friends with a 20 year old & a 21 year old guy . At two different points, I was going to date one of them . I think you can imagine how people looked at that, and I understood why .
They don't want you to become another statistic, because most of the time -- You will become another statistic .
I got lucky, I met two respectable men in college . But I've known them for years now . How long have you known this guy ? Of course your mother's going to freak . I'd yell at people that used to talk about me & my two best friends, but you have to understand that people are gonna worry .
They're only trying to love you & care for you . So why are you shamming on them ? You asked our opinions, and you're going to thank those that supported YOUR opinion ? Right .
..__MiNDY

Ok this has happened 2 me before jus talk 2 him! dont let anyone know but jus because ur mom says that its wrong because hes a few years older doesn't mean she is right!

I'm sorry, but talk to him. If you trust him and he treats you like a brother, continue. You know the warning, you know to be careful. You do what YOU want, find yourself. Yeah, it's good that your parents worry, but really, a good person is a good person. I know PLENTY of guys who are not perverted freaks and they are a lot older than me. Everyone is so steriotypical nowadays. I grew up in LA. My parents didn't give a shit. I have been exposed to a lot, but my freedom made me make the right decisions. I have maintained ON MY OWN a 4.3 GPA and I will go to college and lead a successful life, not because Mommy's making me, not because it's expected of me or required of me, because I WANT to. I WANT to go far. You have to do things for YOU in life. A good person is a good person. Most people are raised a certain way, but I wasn't. Life isn't fair and you'll have to find a way to deal with your mother, but you can also, if it's that bad, get emancipated. However, and no offense, I don't think you seem quite responsible enough to take that much care of yourself. Indeed, your mother's restrictions aren't helping you out, are they? Don't they make you want to talk to this guy even more? If you had the freedom to do it, you could see what kind of a person he is. Obviously, don't go meet him in a dark alley, but if your Mom welcomed into the house, let him hang out with you there, under her supervision. Suggest that. You could have your big brother and she could be there to protect you.